Page 53 of The Fake Boyfriend Fiasco

Theo didn’t need to be told twice.

Once he was gone, Jen turned a determinedly bright smile on Aria. “Tea!” she said, thrusting a cup into Aria’s hand. Kind of like you’d thrust food at a wild animal before backing away slowly.

Aria stared glumly into the milky brown liquid. Now, the inquisition would begin.

“There,” Jen said primly, sitting down. “That’s better. No more tears, or your eyes will go all puffy.”

“You can’t appeal to my vanity right now,” Aria lied. “I am desolate and despondent. I wouldn’t care if my eyebrows fell off.”

“Well, of course you wouldn’t. You could microblade new ones for yourself.”

She huffed out a resentful chuckle. “Stop making me laugh when my chest hurts.”

“But that’s what I’m for,” Jen said softly. “Now. Do you want to tell me what happened?”

A fresh wave of despair hit Aria like a brick, completely without warning. Suddenly choking back yet more tears, she put down her tea and asked, “Why do you even bother with me? How many times have you had to sit around, listening to me cry over some guy like it’s the first time I’ve been fucked over?”

Jen frowned, rolling her lips inwards. “Honey. It doesn’t matter. You’re my best friend and I want to be here for you. Always. And no matter how many times you get hurt, you have the right to feel that pain as if it’s brand new. There’s no cap on feelings.” She put a hand on Aria’s shoulder. “Please tell me you know that.”

“Sure,” Aria sniffed. “I know that. Logically. I used to tell myself that all the time. Like, yes, this guy hurt me or that guy lied, and yes, I could’ve seen it coming, but I’m not to blame! They’re responsible for their actions and blah blah blah. But Jen, how many times can the same thing happen to me before I figure out the common denominator? I…” Her voice cracked, her vision blurring with tears. Christ, she must be so dehydrated by now. “I throw myself into relationships because I want someone to love, and I want someone to love me. But that’s not okay. Look what happened last time!”

Her final sentence, the words she’d been desperate to say all along, burst out almost violently. They were so loud, they seemed to echo around the room. Jen jerked back as if she’d been hit, her mouth forming a little ‘O’ for a moment. But then, as always, she rallied.

“Aria Granger. Please tell me you are not still freaking out over that thing with Simon.”

“Of course, I am, Jenny! I know I’m not allowed to feel guilty.” Shout out to Dr. Browne, therapist extraordinaire. “But I do know that if I didn’t need to be with someone, Simon wouldn’t have been able to use me. Because I wouldn’t have given him the time of day. What does it say about me, that I can fall for someone I don’t even like? Nothing good, no matter which way you spin it. I know that.

“So, I decided, if I can’t choose carefully, no more men! None at all! That makes sense, right? Only I fucked up. With Nik, I fucked up. Because I thought it was different, and I thought it was real, and that I wanted him—not just someone, him. So, I let myself try again. And I fell for someone’s bullshit, again. I probably wanted to fall for it. I’m on some twisted self-sabotage kick where I throw myself at manipulative dickheads—”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Jen said, holding up a hand. “Nik, the guy you were fake-dating? What happened?”

So, Aria told her. Aria told her everything. And at the end of the most disjointed, teary, self-pitying speech of her life, she looked up to find her best friend frowning at the wall like it held the secrets of the cosmos.

After a slight pause, Jen said, “There are a couple of things I need to say.”

“O…kay?”

“First of all, Nik is a dickhead.”

Aria laughed and accidentally blew a snot bubble. A snot bubble. Would these indignities never end?

“Nice,” Jen said dryly.

“I told you to stop making me laugh.”

“My wit is too powerful to contain, unfortunately.”

Aria rolled her eyes and reached for the tissues.

“The second thing I want to say,” Jen went on, “is that I understand why you’re doubting yourself. Because you’ve definitely made some unhealthy relationship choices. I can’t lie, I was glad when you stopped wifing any guy with functioning private parts, but not because I think there’s something wrong with you. I think you’re amazing. You love so easily.”

Aria grimaced.

“That’s not a bad thing! That’s a gift. I’ve always been so jealous of you. It’s like you don’t have a well that can run dry, you don’t have a barrier or a limit. You just love and love and love, and it never runs out, and you’re never afraid. Sometimes people take advantage of you, but that is not your fault—no matter how many times it happens.” Aria opened her mouth to protest, but Jen held up a hand and speared her with a look. “I don’t care. It is not your fault. Everyone wants love, and you’ve got a lake of it. The people who know they don’t deserve it will always be first in line, because they’re thirsty. And they know how to play you, because you’re too sweet to think the way they do. Like, you cannot comprehend their evil.” Aria winced as Jen tapped her on the forehead. “You have a mind of hearts and flowers.”

“No offence, but that is complete bullshit. I am not sweet.”

“You are. You’re like a loyal Alsatian. You will maul someone if necessary, but it’s always out of love. I just wish you’d protect yourself as much as you protect everyone else.” Jen paused. “Although, it sounds like you’ve started to. And, while I approve wholeheartedly, I do have one last point to make.”

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