Page 72 of Something So Strong

With his forehead against mine, Kai stares down at my chest and admits, “You leave me so exposed. You make me want to tell you everything.”

“My ears are open.” Ever so lightly, I pull our bodies closer. “I’m not going anywhere.”

It’s only slight, but I can see Kai’s chin quivering.

“High school?” I question—prompting him.

“Yeah…” He pauses. “High School… I come from the sort of backward small town where you stand out for being different… But I wasn’t even that different, really.” Anger creeps into his tone. “I was skinny with a smart mouth and friends with all the girls because I wasn’t like their asshat boyfriends. God, that pissed them off. Seeing their girls spending time with me instead of them… I’m still not even sure if what they did was closeted, or bigoted, but—”

Cutting himself off, Kai stares blankly between us as all the color drains from his face.

Letting his arms fall to his side, he tries to back away, but I hold on to him.

“No, Jesse,” he all but screams—pushing me in the chest with both hands and slamming my head back against the wall. “Fuck, sorry. I… I’ve gotta go.”

For several seconds, I watch him fumble with the door handle as his hands shake.

“Kai, stop!” I call out to him as he flees down the hallway.

“No, Jess. I can’t do this. I can’t talk about it.” Halting, he looks left and right before entering the supply room like he actually thought that would stop me from following him.

“Yes, you can. You were doing so well,” I tell him calmly, gently closing the door behind me. “I told you I wasn’t going anywhere. Nothing you can say will change that.”

Furiously, his head shakes—his hands gripping the front of his shirt.

I take a step forward and he matches it by pressing his back against the wall.

“Please don’t.” He holds out his hand as I go to take another step. “You won’t look at me the same… You won’t want me anymore.”

“But you won’t let me have you now. Isn’t it better to tell me and take a risk instead of continuing to deny us both?”

Ignoring his request to stay back is probably not the smartest thing for me to do, but I reach out and run my fingers over Kai’s forearm as tears start spilling down his cheeks.

“I can’t. I’m fucked. I know that. I know you’ll think it too,” his voice quivers.

“You can’t speak for me.”

“I fucking can! Why do you think I’ve not been home since I left? I’m the dirty one. The one nobody wants.”

“I want you.”

“Really?” he yells, pounding his hands flat against his chest. “You want this?”

“Yes,” I say sternly.

“You want the tattooed freak who bashes himself in his sleep?”

“Yes.”

“You can’t handle my baggage!”

“Try me.” I can see in his eyes that he needs me to back away but not move a muscle, either. “Tell me, Kai. Tell me what you’re so scared I can’t handle.”

“You’re just as much of a freak as I am,” he berates.

My brow rises. “Maybe I am.”

“You really wanna hear this shit?”

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