Page 20 of Something So Strong

“Oh.” The rigidity of her body diffuses and the effervescent girl we met twenty-five minutes ago is back with full force. “I wouldn’t say that,” she giggles before taking another sip of champagne.

“Well, what would you say then? Cause he’s gonna have a lot of fun with you doesn’t sound all too appealing.”

A belly laugh erupts from inside her, and a smile even breaks on Kendall’s face.

“Can’t help but feel like I’m being left out of something.”

“Calm your farm. I’m just teasing,” Cleo dismisses with a wave of her hand like she isn’t a complete nutcase. “Kai is just very… interesting, is all. Not bad, interesting, but still interesting nonetheless.” Her eyes raise from mine to the void above my head like there’s a movie of him playing there. “He’s charming. Beautiful. Alluring. He has a way about him that commands attention from everyone. I can’t describe it in any other way than… it’s Kai being Kai.”

“Is he gay?”

Cleo splutters, coughing up the champagne that was midway down her throat. “Fuck no!”

“And what makes you so sure?”

“First-hand experience.” Her eyebrows raise as she stares at me straight on. “Take it from me. That guy loves pussy. And boy, does he sure know how to please.” Her gaze remains laser-focused for several more seconds, silently reiterating her point before she breaks with a cheeky smile and casually leans back. “Let me guess, he’s been flirting with you? Called you adorable? Gorgeous? Am I getting warmer?”

“Pretty boy,” I admit.

She snickers, “Yep, that sounds like our Kai.”

“So he’s just fucking with me, then?”

“No… I wouldn’t say that either. But he hits on anyone attractive, so I’d take it as a compliment. Flustered the fuck out of this one when they first met.” She gestures towards Kendall.

Then the words leave my mouth before my brain can stop them. “Is he bi?”

“Why, pretty boy?” Cleo rests forward on the table. “You interested?”

And that is exactly why I’ll curse the looseness of my lips until the end of time.

The shit-eating grin on Cleo’s face tells me she got exactly the reaction she was hoping for.

“Haha, not likely,” Romeo scoffs. And I take a long sip of my beer, thankful his eyes were focused on Cleo because god knows what my face looks like right now.

“Well, either way,” Cleo continues, swaying her champagne glass back and forth before staring so deep into my soul that I know she can read my mind. “You are very pretty, Jesse. But him being bi…? I really don’t know... As I said, he sweet talks anyone he thinks is hot, but I’ve never known him to actually hook up with a guy… I’d still be careful if I were you, ‘cause it doesn’t mean he hasn’t. And the pair of you are going to be spending a lot of time together. You might get pulled into his snare without even noticing.”

It feels like I’ve been lying in the same position since last night. The only difference is now the sun floods my room with unwanted joy instead of the veil of night, where no one has to look at me. It’s totally acceptable to hide yourself away then, and no one will ask you why. But spend every day motionless on your bed and do-gooders slink out of the woodwork to bombard you with questions and smother you with solutions to problems that are none of their fucking business.

I’m fine.

I don’t need help.

Sometimes I just want to be left alone. Like yesterday afternoon, and last night, and right fucking now.

It’s how I process. How I heal. How I’m going to come to terms with making Alma cry.

I’m a piece of shit. I’ve accepted that. Now I can move on.

It won’t mean I’ll sleep any better tonight though, if I even fall asleep at all.

I’ve been surviving on thirty minutes at a time for almost ten years. Any longer and the consequences aren’t worth it. Mentally or physically. And a look of complete contempt for the world has been working for me so far.

But… Jesse.

Him and that happy fucking face of his have me wanting to get out of bed and sit by the window in case he walks past again like I’ve got nothing better to do.

Like…

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