Page 124 of Something So Strong

Does that make me crazy?

I know I shouldn’t be excited at the knowledge that half the people in this building have likely done things with my boyfriend I’ve only ever imagined alone in the shower, but I fucking love it.

Because I love that he chose me.

And I haven’t even put out yet… Not fully, anyway.

Thankfully heeding my advice rather than Cleo’s, Kai jumps on Romeo’s back. My best friend grabs his legs as Kai doubles the belt over, ready to use it as a whip.

If Romeo wasn’t virtually my brother and I were attracted to men other than Kai, I may be able to find some appeal in their show. But as that is not the case, I’ll revert back to my original thoughts on the matter which I shared with everyone earlier this evening: Midweek drinking is never a good idea.

Our lives might feel like a non-stop holiday right now, but the high of finding a home away from home wrapped up in an accepting and carefree bubble still comes with a jarring wake-up call and a grimy hangover.

Maybe it’s because Christmas and New Years flew by in a surreal haze that I agreed to a night out for the first time since the evening that shall not be named. But… Who am I kidding? The only part of that which is even remotely true is that none of us has touched a drop of alcohol since our night out at Misty Mountains.

The five of us here, plus Nate and Mavis, have been practically MIA to the outside world. And even though I need tonight just as much as everyone else does, my body is still heavy with the guilt that two people in particular aren’t part of the group. So I’m lying to myself and attempting to convince my conscience that I’m doing Kai a favor, and trying my best to keep up the farce. Because, if I put it out into the universe, someone somewhere might pick it up and believe it to be true.

Fuck. My. Life.

I can safely say this has been the hardest festive season of my twenty-four years.

Romeo and I swore off gifts and boycotted all decorations with no regard for how those around us felt about it—bar the tree Saxon and Andy’s niece, Mia, decorated. So, when Kai kissed my neck and gave me doe eyes, I agreed to tonight like I even have a leg to stand on.

Even when I’m not thinking about Saxon and whether he’s alright, I let Kai get his way most of the time. Big focus on most, because right now his tattooed fingers are making grabby hands at the beers beside me.

I love seeing him happy, but the levels at which he’s decided to be carefree this evening have got me a little wary.

Kai is not a drinker.

This totals two times I’ve ever seen alcohol enter his system.

I guess I should be stoked that he trusts Romeo enough to let loose, but Kai is nothing if unpredictable.

Looking down at the half-full bottle in my hand, I take my final sip for the night and hand it off to him.

“You sure?”

I nod. He wants more, so he can have half. He’s my responsibility now and I take my job very seriously.

With one arm wrapped around Romeo’s neck, Kai downs the beer, switches arms, and smacks Romi on the ass with the belt. “Tally-ho!” He points, directing Romeo to the remaining beers like I hadn’t just given him half of mine.

“Alright, alright!” I stand up and tug Kai down. Getting the belt out of his clutches is easier said than done, though, and it’s only when Kendall steps in that I’m able to pry it free.

“Get yourself dressed.” I toss it back to Romeo who, in less than three seconds, has taken to simping the fuck out over Kendall. It’s hard to watch, but the glutton in me can’t get enough of all the cringe. And he dared call me out for how bad I was at covering up my relationship with Kai. The difference is this seems pretty one-sided. A kind of, she says jump, and he asks how high, situation.

Not one to be outdone in the company of friends, Kai stands directly in front of me and rests his forearms on my shoulders. “Happy one month, Pretty Boy,” he whispers—the left side of his lips curling up in that infuriatingly sexy smirk of his.

“Is that what this is all about?” I slide my hands into my pockets casually, just to annoy him.

I can feel his muscles tense against my shoulders as he holds his expression. Calling my bluff, the tip of his tongue pokes into the corner of his mouth and slices at my Achilles heel. “Fuck,” I huff out as his hands glide across my back and bring me closer. Even three and a half beers deep, he knows he owns me. Knows every tiny, minute way to make me weak at the knees.

Tilting my head, I move in for a kiss, but the second my lips ghost his, Kai’s hands drop from my shoulders and he steps back.

Unimpressed, I look at him as he apathetically holds his hands up as if to say, maybe, then lets his body go limp and falls onto the sofa where I’d been sitting not thirty seconds ago. “It’s been one month since I gave you the best blow job of your life. But…”

Playing into the fact the remainder of our crew is hanging on his every word, Kai leans over the side of the couch and helps himself to another beer. Flopping down beside him, I wait in agony as he twists off the cap, tosses it onto the coffee table, and takes a long sip before pointing the bottle at me.

“Though it’s been eight weeks since you couldn’t hold out any longer and just had to kiss me first.”

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