Page 117 of Something So Strong

“I think your lady friends are no longer impressed by your theatrics,” Jesse points out.

Both women are cute, obviously townies, and both are out of Shorty’s league, which points strongly to them both vying for Tyler’s attention. And I see a future where one of them will be sleeping alone instead of accepting the consolation prize.

“Oh, we are not their friends.” Her tongue is sharper than a surgeon’s scalpel.

“Not anymore, anyway,” the other adds.

With my hand still gripping Jesse’s, I covertly tug it towards the girls, squeeze it extra tight, then let go. “I think they’re ready for an upgrade.”

“The fuck did you say?”

“Ladies. Would you like to join us for a drink?” Jesse asks, stepping out from between the dick-heads and the window. And I can’t stop the smile spreading on my face as he fingers the dark blond streak in his hair.

“Anything’s gotta be better than them,” I say, putting my back to Tyler and the shorty to create a barrier between them and the girls. All the while keeping an eye on their reflection in the window.

Jesse holds his hand out to the girl closest, and with a toss of her fake curls, she takes it and turns to walk away with him.

“Don’t walk away from me, you coward.”

“So chivalry is cowardice now? Dumb cunt,” I mutter at Tyler and hold out my arm for the other girl to link hers with.

“Did you just call me a cunt?”

“I’d never call you a cunt. That’d be an insult to cunts,” I lie flippantly over my shoulder.

“Get the fuck back here!”

Letting her go, I spin away from the townie and narrow my eyes. “Language, boys. There are children around.”

“You think I care?”

“Immigration might.”

In a last ditch effort to save face, Tyler lowers his chin and walks toward me. Meeting him, I push my chest against his and stare straight into his eyes. “I’m sure you haven’t missed that there are police here tonight. And families. Lots of families. And I assume you don’t feel like being arrested, because I sure as hell don’t. Though I’m certain the experience would be a lot more enjoyable for me. Whereas foreign citizens with a piece of shit work visa?” I stop to scoff in his face. “They’ll ship you back off to your colony in a heartbeat.”

Jesse rubs his pinkie against the back of my hand as the bartender at The Donegal slides two cocktails in front of us. “How far are we gonna take this?”

“Take what?” I ask, picking up one glass and playing dumb.

“You’re the worst.”

“Just say it, Jess.” I shoot him another dastardly grin.

“You know those girls are only staying to see if we are a couple?”

“Yes, Jesse. I have been here the whole time.”

“So I’m asking, how far is it okay to lead them on before it starts to be cruel?”

I stop midway between the bar and where the girls are seated, and as I turn to Jesse, I feel like my past is reaching inside my body, trying to rip and tear and remind me that happiness and I don’t get to exist together. That I’m not a good person. That I fuck with people's emotions because I want them to be as miserable as me. That I’m sullied, and poor, and good-for-nothing, and no matter how hard I wish it to be, people like me don’t get a happy ending. Not when people like him exist. Perfect and untouchable. Everything from his longhair to his designer boots is so far above what I deserve that I’m terrified he’ll look at me one day and realize it for himself. I want to tell him that the deeper our relationship gets, the more insecure I get in a way I’ve never known. Or that I’m scared shitless he’ll leave me for a woman because I know he still thinks about them. And how I know it’s unfair to expect him to take on a role he doesn’t want because I’m so fucking damaged that just the thought of his dick anywhere near my ass makes me wanna die. But I don’t. I push it all down as deep as I can and plaster on a smug expression. “Who said we’re leading them on?”

“I’m just—”

“I watched you look at her, Jess. She’s short, curvy, feminine… All the things I’m not. And—” I hold my hand up to stop him before he starts “—Her friend’s the same. But it’s just like with Yuki. I don’t give a fuck what she’s talking about.”

“Surely that’s mean?” he says, watching my lips move like he can’t believe the words that are coming out of my mouth.

“And was it not mean for them to ditch Tyler for us?”

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