Page 101 of Something So Strong

Maybe I don’t like this place.

Maybe I need to leave.

I need to feel.

“Please! Let me go!” I cry… I think.

I fall to my knees and leave macabre handprints on the ground. But is it the ground? It looks the same as everything else, yet it’s solid.

I lean forward, and with all my might, I slam my head against it.

Splotches of crimson plasma whir around me as I bash my head, again and again, until the place that had so snugly embraced me is awash with torment and frenzy. Collapsing on my side, I slowly blink as the radiance around me fades. And throbs of agony pulse through my body until there’s nothing but cold and darkness…

Wet and sore.

I open my mouth and hear the dehydrated squelch of my tongue and lips. Earth and copper fight to be the dominant taste as I moan—sucking in air like I’ve just been brought back to life.

My lungs struggle to fill as they strain against my crushed chest.

I gasp at the stabs. There’s so many.

I struggle to see. One of my eyes is swollen shut, but with the other I can see its morning.

There’s dirt and a little grass.

Brown, and green, and red.

I try to move, and my feet fall from the bottom step.

How long have I been here?

Did Mum really not come to help?

I hope Blake didn’t see me.

“He’s pathetic, isn’t he?”

Dad?

“He was practically begging us to do it.”

Josh?

“Not sure if I can blame you, son.” Dad slaps his hand down on Josh’s shoulder. “What man could be around four fine pieces of ass and not touch them? Only a faggot one. So I guess you did him a favor. He doesn’t have to lie to me anymore.”

Why are they together?

I push myself up on my forearms and scan the backyard.

“He’s probably gonna try to convince us he isn’t a homo even though he’s taken it up the ass from four different guys.”

Josh laughs at my father’s crass words. “He just laid there and took it, too.”

“I didn’t,” my voice cracks out like my ribs are breaking all over again. “I’m not.”

“Huh?” my father scoffs, squatting down near the entrance of his shed. “You’re not a queer boy?”

Josh pats him on the back. “I think that’s what he’s trying to say.”

---