Page 96 of Something So Strong

“Don’t!” I scoop my hand behind his head to stop him from doing it again.

Then, an almost insidious laugh gurgles from deep within his chest. “At least now I believe in Jesse The Oracle. Something bad did happen today.”

But why did it have to happen to him?

“Do you wanna take the rest of the afternoon off?”

He shakes his head indignantly. “I’ll only wallow.” Kai closes his eyes, and I can see the light reflecting from the tears sitting at the base of his lashes. “And being around you makes me feel safe.”

I force his head onto my shoulder and wrap my other arm around his back.

I know Esther will pop through the door at any moment, all bubbly and oblivious, but I can’t bring myself to let Kai go.

Three small words tug at my vocal cords, but I press my tongue to the roof of my mouth and force them back into my stomach. It’s far too soon. Far too inappropriate of a time. And I’m so unfamiliar with the feeling I’m not even sure if it’s real or just a crazy, intense form of compassion. Either way, being Kai’s safe place fills me with more sense of purpose than anything else I’ve ever accomplished.

I slam my bedroom door and hear Jesse’s close a few seconds later. I feel so alone. So uncomfortably numb when I’m not around him. It makes me nervous. But I know I need to do this on my own.

During my break, I must have composed fifteen different texts to my mother, deleting them all. Reading what I have to say is too good for her. I need to make her listen. I can’t have any doubts in my mind that the message wasn’t clear enough. Her chicken shit ass needs to hear the awful truth so I can have the pleasure of hanging up on her when I’m done.

Pulling my phone from my pocket, I lean against the back of my door. There’s a hairline crack down the left side of the screen from where I threw it across reception, but that’s a small price to pay.

Imagining Jesse sitting at his door gives me the strength I need to tap the ‘call’ button.

Rumbling nausea percolates the instant I hear the first ringtone.

It sounds again, and the feeling rises to my chest.

She still doesn’t pick up.

A third round of chimes has me questioning the entire exercise.

A fourth and I’m convinced she’s ignoring the call on purpose.

Five…

Six…

Then, finally, as the seventh set of tones begins and I pull my phone away to hang up, my mother's meek, insipid voice punches my ear like a freight train, and I’m ready to fight.

“Hello, Kai.”

“How’s Blakely?” I ask about my sister before she has time to say anything else.

“Um, she’s fine.” She replies, clearly taken aback by my tone. “She’s halfway through her senior year, and a little more distant than I’d like. She’s been spending a lot of time in the shed, but it’s far too cold out there at this time of ye—”

“You didn’t give a fuck about the weather when I was sleeping out there.”

“Please, I don’t want to fight with you… I’m surprised you called, but it’s good to hear your voice.”

“And I’m surprised you think I’d actually wanna come home.”

She sighs, and I know exactly what her face looks like. Disappointment. In me. “It’s a very important occasion.”

“More important than how I’ve been the last seven years?”

“I’ve known where you are.”

“Really? Do you know where I’m working—no, that’s probably too hard. What province am I living in?”

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