Page 168 of Something So Strong

She tries to hold it in but erupts with another histrionic outburst.

I hang my head and groan. It’s cold, but I have no more shits to give, because—in all sincerity—I am sick of being the nice guy. I’ve got a broken man who needs me, and being his protector isn’t a nice job. Or an easy one, for that matter, but it’s the only one I care about. It’s the only one I need. And come hell or high water, I will make the rest of his life a happy one.

“You coming?”

My balls tighten at the sound of Kai’s voice. And fuck my family, my lineage, my future title, and all the money that comes with it for making me believe for one second that I could ever live without him.

“Sure am, Babe.” I look Millie dead in the eye as I answer him. “Oh, and you—ya worthless gobshite—“ I give Josh a final kiss goodbye with the tread of my shoes. “The reason I don’t fuck Kai, is because he fucks me. Live with that, motherfucker.”

He’s still on me, all over. Everywhere except my face and hands. They belong to Jesse again. But the rest of my body still aches with the same undeterred infection, and I need to be stripped of it once and for all.

With my own eyes, I saw Jesse fulfill his promise: I will always protect you.

With my ears, I heard him say he loves me.

And with my lips, I told him I felt the same…

He’s been two steps behind me since we left the alley, and like a radiator, he’s heating the back of me while my front freezes. Festers. Untouched by his light. Still littered with Josh’s marks.

Waiting at the crosswalk amongst the crowd, I feel him creep nearer. I know by his touch, his scent, that it’s him. He presses his body against me. His hand lands on my stomach, then slides beneath my open jacket to wrap around my waist.

Like heroin injected into my veins, immense serenity ripples from his fingertips and pumps through my bloodstream. Absolving me of my past. All of it. I’m not what they did to me anymore. I’m who Jesse loves. And I’m the man who will follow him to the ends of the earth.

“You’ve been a naughty boy. Haven’t you, Kai?”

A panting breath puffs into a cloud in the frosty air. “Yes.”

“All your silly little questions make so much more sense now.”

I tense my neck so my head doesn’t collapse back against his shoulder.

“Snooping is a lot worse than not telling the whole truth, wouldn’t you say?”

“Yes,” I pant out again. And I’d agree with anything he asked. Anything at all to get the punishment I hope is coming to me. The punishment I’ve been craving for far too many years and thinking I’m a freak for wanting. The punishment I’ve been trying to coax out of Jesse since he punched me and I knew I’d finally found the one to give it to me.

I need an iron fist.

I need him to make me pay for twenty years of self-hatred.

I need to be chastised for thinking I’m not good enough.

I need Jesse’s hands to litter my body—sting, and pound at my skin until all my pain belongs to him.

The light flashes for us to walk, but as I go to move, Jesse holds me still and makes people walk around us. “What do you want first? My fingers or my cock?”

“Your tongue.”

I hear his neck crack as he cocks his head to the side. “That wasn’t an option, brat.”

I suck in air through clenched teeth at his choice of words.

“Oh.” He squeezes my waist. “Did you like that? Do you like me calling you names, you wretched little shit?”

“Fuck,” I breathe out but it’s carried away with the crowd.

“Such a dirty boy.” I can hear the smirk in his voice. “You just wait till we’re alone. I’m not gonna be the only one sore in the morning.”

Jesse retracts his hand without another word and starts crossing the street with the final scattering of people, leaving me to follow him like my balls are tied to the other end of an invisible piece of string he’s got wound around his wrist. And the tug is real, because the further he is away from me the more my dick aches to be inside him.

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