Page 63 of Hiding from Hope

“I don’t know how to move forward. I don’t know how to talk to her. I don’t want to upset her, but I don’t want to let her hurt me again. I just want to talk, but every time I try, it’s like I say the wrong thing.” I just want to know what I’ve done, how to fix it. How to undo it.

He squeezes my foot in, I think, comfort, and I look up to find him looking at me with gentle eyes. By the deep set of his frown and tension in his shoulders, I know he just wants to fix it for me, but he hasn’t any idea how. This topic has me losing my appetite, as it has over the last few weeks. I discard my plate to the coffee table, then reach across and do the same with his. I push him so he lays flat on the couch and I climb over him, lying down and resting my head on his chest. He wraps his arms firmly around me as he places soft kisses to my hair and forehead.

The tension leaves my body, and I let him hold me. Let him warm me, protect me, and care for me. We stay huddled together like this for a few minutes, when I breathe deeply and feel myself sink into the comfort of his embrace when he whispers into my hair.

“You are sunlight through a window, which I stand in, warmed. My darling.”

I burrow myself further into him, trying desperately to hide my blush but hearing the race of his heart. When I don’t respond, but hum comfortably, he speaks, and I hear that gorgeous smile in his delectable voice, “Jessie Burton.”

“I hadn’t heard that one.” I giggle softly.

“Damn. Should have claimed it as my own.” He huffs a gentle laugh and his hands rub gentle circles on my back.

“You could make one up.”

“I could.” He nods, and I feel his lips press gently to my forehead in a few more soft kisses.

“Well, let’s hear it.” I tilt my head, shifting to rest my hands under my chin and look up into his eyes. His gentle gaze roams my entire face before landing on my lips for a moment.

“I’ll work on it.” He smiles shyly, and with a touch of vulnerability, he inches forward slightly, his lips hovering just above mine, and I close the final distance, reaching up and sealing his lips with mine. What I had planned to only be a gentle and soft kiss quickly gets away from me when he sweeps his tongue in and caresses mine. A small groan leaves his throat as he shifts my position, my legs straddling him and my hands wrapping around his neck.

“Your lips are my vice. I could kiss you for eternity,” he whispers before he takes them again.

“That was pretty good for off the cuff,” I pant and then kiss him back, growing desperate, and his hands travel my back and find their way into my yoga tights, gripping my ass, pushing me to his lap.

“That wasn’t what I was working on. I can do better.” I almost groan at the way he punctuates his words with an upthrust of his hips, and I feel just how much his desire matches mine.

“I’d say you’re doing pretty good already.” I pull away and bite my lip as I try to catch my breath. His eyes dance with mischief and he sits up so quickly I barely have a chance to hide my squeal before the positions are switched. My back to the couch, he hovers above me.

“Oh, but I love a challenge.”

Jessie

Casey was up at 6am, pulling herself from my arms, letting me sleep as she snuck around to get ready for another day of taking every single fucking class at the studio. I didn’t need to be at the shop to relieve April until 11am, so I made a coffee, locked up, and headed for Karvelas Media. I hadn’t been to Noah’s office yet, the modern space located on the 13th and 14th floor of a corporate building in Midtown East. Clean lines, exposed brick, with modern-industrial accents. The space looks exactly like what I’d pictured.

The receptionist points me in Noah’s office’s direction and I head that way, not really paying attention to the people, but rather lost in thoughts of a specific auburn ray of sun and how she smiled at me as she kissed me this morning, the sound of her laugh as I tried and failed to drag her back to the bed, lost in the confusion of how all of this feels. When I lost my mind for a few moments and asked if I was going to see her again tonight, she had informed me she had a date with Rosie Garcia that was non-negotiable unless she was to be fired as a best friend. I was grateful because we agreed to slow, and slow felt like the opposite of how I was traveling. I really need to put some space between her and my heart, but I am also bummed because… well, being with Casey is the only time I feel at peace.

“Jessie? What are you doing here?” Caleb queries, delight being the surprising undertone of the question. I was so busy twisting through my thoughts and staring at the floor, I didn’t see him coming.

“Came to have a chat with Noah about the shop.”

“Sick! What are you doing later?”

I shrug and continue to walk in Noah’s direction, Caleb on my tail. “Come to Bozzelli’s with me.”

“You are always out. Have you ever just enjoyed a night in?” I question, but without my usual annoyance, and when I glance across at him, I can’t work out whether his confusion is at my tone or my question.

“Well… no. But why would I hang out at my house alone when I could be warming someone’s bed?” he retorts and winks at me. Rolling my eyes, I come to a stop at an office door and see Noah’s large frame hunched over and looking seriously at his computer screen. Where I stop at the door, Caleb strolls in and plants himself in a chair across from Noah.

“Picked up a stray,” he states and Noah’s gaze lifts to mine, an instant smile hitting his face.

“JJ, what’s up, man! To what do we owe the pleasure?” His usual arrogance is firmly in place as he leans back in his chair, an arm thrown over the back, and he gestures to the chair next to Caleb. Doing my best to put on a smile, I make my way over, sitting down in the deceptively comfortable chair.

“Actually, wanted to talk about the café. Maybe look at doing an online store as part of the website?” His eyes light up and he leans forward on the desk.

“Absolutely! When did you want to launch?”

“Sooner the better. How long would it take?”

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