Page 45 of Hiding from Hope

“Oh my god, I want so many details. I want every single bit of information. Details. All of them. Oh, God, I need it. Casey! Speak!” Rosie is practically bouncing on her feet, and Addison looks between me and Rosie, still confused how to feel.

“For my friend, I would also, normally, want details. But I really also want to throw up because it’s my brother. Can I have highlights, like the G-rated version, and then you can give Rosie all the disgusting details when I leave the country after being scarred for life from this information?” Addison turns and heads for the couch, understanding that we are very much going to need to sit for this conversation. Rosie turns to the fridge and then meets us on the couch, shoving a takeaway iced-latte cup into my hands. I see JJ’s logo on the front and look up, confused.

“Jessie dropped us all coffees this morning. Said this was yours and not to wake you.” She winks, and I look at the coffee.

“What…?” The question dies on my tongue as I read Jessie’s handwriting on the side of the cup, record-breaking Turkish delight latte (with a twist).

Not being able to help myself, I immediately take a sip and the flavors ignite on my tongue. Jessie took my original Turkish Delight order and mixed in the banana from the last time I was there, instead of the chocolate. It sounds positively disgusting. But it’s like an orgasm in my mouth.

“Yum,” I murmur, staring at Jessie’s cursive handwriting, pretending like I can’t feel the stare of Rosie and Addy burning through me.

“You need to start from the beginning,” Rosie demands, the excitement evident in her expression.

“And please, for my sake, spare the gory details.” Addison grimaces.

“Save them for me later. I want to know everything,” Rosie confirms.

I start at the night market, giving them, as requested, step-by-step details of the night. From the binding supplies to the crepes. Rosie nods along and is practically bouncing with energy, while Addison looks like she knows what details are coming and wishes she didn’t ask about it.

“And then… he… Jessie kissed me.” The last part is a whisper, and I briefly bring my fingers to my lips, like I can still feel the dominance of his touch on me.

“Rosie, it was like that thing you described, I think my soul left my body. It was the best damned kiss I ever had. He kissed the ever-loving shit out of me.” My gaze is stuck somewhere vacant, staring, unable to focus as my mind goes back to that park bench. The fairy lights of the night market, the bustling of the city dropping away as Jessie’s blue-green eyes sparkled with emotions I couldn’t figure out. The tension pulled so tight I could barely catch my breath, and then he was just kissing me and, damn. I wanted to kiss him all night long. But—

“Then Evan called me from Grace’s phone.” I look up at the girls then and I think they can sense something in my voice because the excitement is gone. I tell them. Everything.

Rosie’s excitement drops and both she and Addison scoot closer to me on the couch. Rosie throws her arms around me in a hug, and I tilt my eyes to the ceiling, forcing myself not to cry. Addy rests a hand on my thigh, her expression firm but gentle. Her way of supporting without pity. That girl hates pity.

“Evan called me because Grace had been a mess, and he didn’t know what to do. She had lost the baby a week before. She didn’t call me or tell me. Had been calling in sick, and I just never knew what was going on.” I shove away the pain. That she never wanted to tell me. That she didn’t want me there, remembering the hateful words she threw at me.

“I left Jessie, or he came with me then left. I don’t really know. I went to Grace’s. I just needed to be there. I needed to make sure she was okay; my heart was breaking for her.” I feel a tear slip down my face, and I quickly swipe it away. “She wasn’t that happy I was there. I made mom’s casserole, and we ate and everything was fine. I don’t know what I said or what I did. She just lost it. I think it was just the hormones. I’m sure everything is fine, but… anyway, I left.”

I swipe at my eyes a few more times, and the girls stay plastered to my side, not offering any words, and I’ve never appreciated them more.

“I was exhausted, so ready for bed, and I came home, and Jessie was at the door.”

“He had messaged me last night, asking to unlock the door so he could drop off some things?” Addison questions.

“Well, he had my stuff, because I’m an idiot and I completely forgot about the binding things I purchased. I lost my head. I couldn’t think straight.”

“But then he stayed?” Rosie asks and her smile grows again. I nod.

“He stayed. I asked him to stay.” I look at Addison, nervous about her reaction. Wondering how she feels about me and her brother. Whether maybe I shouldn’t say too much.

“Umm… I asked him to stay. In my bed.” I bite on my lower lip, and she forces a smile that is part disgust, but she pats my knee and nods to continue while Rosie bounces in excitement next to me.

“And he did. But he just wanted to… cuddle?” I’m also still confused about that. Addison starts laughing, her head thrown back, and Rosie looks at me incredulously.

“Cuddle?” she deadpans. “That burly lumberjack wanted to just… cuddle?” Rosie’s tone matches my confusion. I shrug and nod, and Addison laughs harder.

“Oh, my brother. He is so dumb sometimes.”

“He said that I needed rest and to just sleep. I guess I eventually did, and then I woke, and it was still dark out, but the bed was empty. I walked out and found him on the balcony. He looked so…”

“Broody?” Addison asks while rolling her eyes, and it makes me giggle.

“Yeah, like he was contemplating life’s biggest mysteries.”

“He does that. Hasn’t changed in the thirty-three years of his life. He always looks like he has some big mystery to solve.” Addy shakes her head but looks at me to continue.

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