Page 42 of Hiding from Hope

“What are you doing out here?” she asks softly, her lips forming a delicate smile, and fuck, I want to kiss her again.

“I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t mean to wake you.” I try to give her a soft smile back, but my chest just aches. I’m telling myself to keep my distance, but it’s hard to hide the very prominent thoughts and feelings that flood me the moment she is in the same room as me.

I want her. I want her so badly. In every way.

I clear my throat and shrug as I push past her to enter the apartment and refill my glass of water. The soft padding of her bare feet against the oak flooring tells me she has followed behind me, and I have to stop myself from openly grunting.

“Is everything okay?” she asks gently.

I squeeze my eyes shut and round the counter, fixing my facial features before turning to face her. She stands on the opposite side, the kitchen counter the only thing between us, and words evade me. Something like a groan climbs its way up my throat, and I pull my gaze from hers as I fill up my glass.

“Jessie, what’s wrong?” This time she comes to stand next to me and places her hand on my arm, the heat singeing me, and I shrug her off.

“I can’t do this anymore, Ace,” I say under my breath. I feel her tense beside me, and she steals her hand from my arm like I burned her.

She has no idea that it is her that burns. Melting everything inside me.

“Do what?” Her tone is laced with concern, and when I finally lock eyes with her, the look on her face is a punch to the gut. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt her.

“I can’t keep acting like I’m not losing control every time I’m around you,” I respond. Placing the glass in the sink and turning to her. Our bodies almost flush, she steels her spine and stands her ground. I watch as her face hardens. Whoever said Casey Baker was delicate doesn’t know the first thing about her.

“I can’t keep sitting on the couch pretending to read with you.” I take a step closer, and she turns her back to the counter. I brace my hands on either side of her, giving them something to do so I don’t act out the very indecent thoughts that tiny bed shirt gives me. “I can’t stand in this kitchen and bake with you, pretending to hear what you’re saying because really I’m trying to stop imagining you on this fucking counter, covered in the batter of whatever delicious masterpiece you are making while I eat it clean off your skin.” Her eyes bulge and her lips part on a sigh. The fact she feels the same desire and electricity between us makes the hold on my control that much harder. I watch her neck as she tries to swallow and the way her breath increases.

“I was doing just fine controlling the way you make me want to turn into a feral animal. But then I kissed you. I tasted you. And you kissed me back. Now I can’t stop wanting more.”

“Oh,” she breathes.

“You spend so much of your time taking care of everyone else. Thinking and anticipating everyone else’s needs and, fuck, Ace. I really want to take care of you. I want to stop pretending that we’re just friends. I want to anticipate your needs.” I search her face for a reaction. Search for something that tells me to take a step back. I’m coming on too fucking hot, just like I told myself I wouldn’t.

Her breathing hasn’t slowed, and instead of listening to reason, I reach a hand to tuck her hair behind her ear, using my thumb to trail her pretty bottom lip and watch as the blush hits her cheeks. To hell with caution, I don’t have the strength to fight it anymore. If that makes me weak, then so be it.

“Please, let me look after you. Let me give you what you need. What I need,” I whisper to her, our lips now only a breath away.

She nods frantically, and it’s all the permission I need as I close the final gap between us and slam my lips to hers. She moans at the touch and a growl of pleasure works its way up my throat as I feel her melt against me. Her petite and lithe body docile in my arms, and I grip the back of her thighs, lifting and placing her on the counter. She opens her thighs for me to step between. With one hand, I grip the back of her head, pulling lightly on the strands of soft strawberry hair that tangles between my fingers, using my free hand to grip her waist, pulling her closer to me.

Our kiss is hard and desperate, like a race against the clock, or perhaps trying to soak up as much of each other before common sense catches up with us. I swipe my tongue with hers as I desperately try to taste every inch of her. Memorize the way her mouth moves with mine, her lips soft and plump. Her hands are around my neck, nails digging into my scalp as she moans and that little leash I had on my control in this moment is out the fucking window. I untangle a hand from her hair and push it under her shirt, bunching it and trailing her perfectly soft skin until her breast is cupped in my hand. She gasps, but I kiss her deeper, drawing her closer, and gently pulling her already puckered nipple between my fingers.

“Jess,” she moans, and fuck if hearing her say my name like that doesn’t make me even harder. I lean my forehead against hers, my hands trailing every expanse of skin they can find, trying to catch my breath. Trying to stop this from going too far. Her eyes are wide and searching mine as she pants against my mouth.

I bend and slowly kiss up the line of her delicate neck, lightly dragging my teeth across her ear. Pulling on that same nipple again, and I see her eyelashes flutter.

“What… what are you doing?” she asks between breaths.

“Trying to hold onto some self-control. Because I want you, Ace. So fucking bad.” I punctuate my statement by gripping her hips and pulling her against me, pressing into her as I lightly bite her neck. I hear her breath catch as her head falls back, giving me more room to caress and feel her heart rate skyrocket.

“Tell me to stop, Casey,” I beg, she has one last chance to not cross this line. To give us time to work this out before it becomes something we can’t stop, that I can’t take back. That she’ll regret.

“Don’t you dare stop,” she demands. The hand massaging her tit reluctantly lets go as I reach up and grip the front of her neck, bringing her full attention back to me, allowing me to drown in her blue eyes. She doesn’t move, but something changes in them, and it is the permission I need. My hand tightens on her skin and I pull her face to mine, so I can grab those perfect fucking lips between my own. My other hand dances around the edge of her panties. I stall, not yet going to where I desperately want to be. Waiting, seeking one silent and final reprieve. For her to have the chance to change her mind.

She moves a hand between us, searching for access to my briefs, and I grab her wrist and pin it to her back.

Fuck.

She has no idea how beautiful she is. This sight before me. My hand grips her neck, as I pin her arms behind her back, and she pants, barely able to catch her breath. Something primal rumbles in my chest and my lips tip at the corners.

“Not tonight, Ace. Tonight is all you,” I whisper and return to trailing kisses across the smooth skin of her neck, collarbone, and shoulder, trying to compensate for the very caveman-like way I hold her. Wanting to be rough, but tender all at once.

My hands release her and reach the hem of her shirt, quickly pulling it over her head, and I groan. These fucking tits.

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