Page 21 of Hiding from Hope

A smothering blanket to a grease fire… Okay, my similes are not as good as Rosie’s.

“How’s the shop, JJ?” Addison asks.

“Ah, good.” He nervously sips his beer, frown in place, and I squeeze his hand. He squeezes back but doesn’t continue.

“That new menu looks popular. I saw it on the socials,” Rosie says from my other side, leaning forward.

“New menu?” I ask, because I hadn’t noticed he had a whole new menu. A bit of excitement at the new flavor possibilities zings through me.

“Oh… yeah, just an idea I had. Seems to be going well.”

“The Baker Brew, right?” Rosie asks again, and my head twists in her direction. I catch the tongue-in-cheek look she gives me before focusing back to Jessie. I do the same because I’m sure I didn’t hear that right and Jessie is about to correct her.

“Right.” He tries to clear his throat before he disentangles our hands and nervously rubs his palms on his thighs. “It’s kind of like a build it yourself menu. Encourages people to try different flavors and explore the options we carry. Then I don’t have to think of it and people use the stock I order. It’s a good way to get rid of some of the shit that doesn’t commonly get used in standard orders.” Don’t cry. Don’t cry.

Happy tears prick the back of my eyes as my heart tries to explode out of my chest. My stupid romance heart wants me to read into this so much more than it should, and it takes every ounce of control to remain impassive at this little piece of information.

“Oh, that sounds amazing!” I say as I clap my hands and try to swallow past the lump stuck in my throat. “I love it! Different flavor options every time? Yes!”

“Right up Casey’s weird coffee alley.” Addison giggles from Jessie’s other side.

“That’s actually a great idea. I might steal it, if you don’t mind,” Lucas chimes in, his face serious, but some amusement sits there.

“By all means,” JJ says while sipping his drink, and I feel like my happiness meter is going to explode. Between JJ actively engaging with my friends, but also… The Baker Brew? Like c’mon, how am I meant to not have butterflies around this man?

“I’m not sure coffee suits a speak-easy bar, Lucas, but nice effort.” Rosie pats him on the back condescendingly, and it still shocks me how this little Latina manages to make six foot tall and intimidating men look and feel like they are the size of an ant.

Lucas is a good sport, though. He shakes his head and laughs before responding, “Hilarious, Garcia. I was talking about the idea in general. I could do a DIY cocktail station. Get rid of some of the stranger ingredients by letting people create something horrible themselves.”

“Or maybe they’ll create a bit of magic,” I say through a smile in Lucas’s general direction. His eyes are severe as they snap to mine, their bright-hazel blue color that pierces through his dark Italian lashes, and a sobering smile that grows across his face.

“Very true, I suppose,” he mutters in my direction before we both sip a drink and return to the rest of the table.

I let my gaze float past JJ, and I note his eyes locked in Lucas’s direction. Fierce and feral, and I have to distract him, again. This guy really needs to be socialized more often.

“What are you reading at the moment?” I ask him as the rest of the table breaks out into their own conversations.

“The Odyssey,” he responds tightly, but the moment he turns to give me his attention, he softens.

“Oh… nice… what’s it about?” I tilt my head, because the only thing I know about that book is that one George Clooney movie, and I’m doing my best to think of anything other than the Baker Brew.

“Greek poems. Broken into a collection of books, but it tells the story of Odysseus…” He looks to my eyes, which must illustrate my confusion, and he shakes his head. “Never mind. It’s not that interesting.” I see the light in his eyes wink out. I wonder how often he hides the things that interest him because he doesn’t think anyone would care. I rest a hand on his arm.

“No, tell me, I am interested. It’s why I asked.” I give him my best smile, which he stares at for a few beats before he snatches my eyes and continues.

“The Greek hero Odysseus and his journey home after the Trojan War.” He searches my eyes for a moment before he nervously plays with his drink. “But really, it’s about the profoundness of the human experience in the journey of life. Determination and resilience.” His attention switches from the drink to me, and I can see every ounce of his gentle soul peeking through that grumpy façade. I give him a soft smile, encouragement to continue. Not that it’s an effort, he’d never know, but it wouldn’t matter if he was talking about the ingredients of paint. I’ll always hang on every word he says. “It’s about a man’s resolve to reunite with his family, and it reflects the universal human longing for connection and belonging. The pain and the strength, at once intense and unavoidable.”

He talks about this interpretation like it is a love letter, the way he speaks, like he is Odysseus himself, feeling the effect of trying to push on through, to find his love. My heart beats a little faster.

My hand rests on his thigh, facing each other in our chairs, his arm rests on the back of my chair. We almost breathe each other’s air.

Rosie clears her throat discreetly next to me, and I’m thankful for the reminder that we are at a table of our friends and not alone. Although I desperately wish we were. So much for that unbridled desire disappearing. I’m going to have to find other tactics.

“You’ve a cute nose.” Jessie bops me on the nose as I try to assist him through his apartment door.

The night was a success in terms of socializing him. He got along swimmingly with the guys, so much so that he is now wasted, and I am a glorified babysitter.

He gasps and points to the reading chair. “I made that.” I giggle slightly at the pride in his words, but before I can say anything about it, he continues. “Made that, too.” He points to the coffee table. “Doo like them?” he asks, as he turns his face in my direction, his warm breath hitting the side of my face, and I have to breathe through the lust.

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