Page 20 of Hiding from Hope

“Ugh, pest.” She rolls her eyes at him. “Okay, let’s wait for everyone else inside. It is freezing out here.”

“I’ll just wait for JJ.”

“Huh?” Riley pins me with a look.

“As in our brother, JJ?” she asks, tilting her head to the side.

I shrug, not sure how to explain that we have kind of been hanging out without everyone getting the wrong idea. Because there is no idea to have. There is nothing going on between us, and after my emotional day that turned into a wholesome baking-friend-date with my new friend, I think it’s safe to say my unbridled desire is officially cured. Especially after I realize how completely unaffected he is and how easily he can switch from teasing to indifferent.

“Yeah. I ran into him a few times at the coffee shop, he helped me out with a studio thing, and he just seems like he could do with expanding his social circle.” It feels like a little bit of a lie, a little bit of a betrayal, like he is a tragic person in need of saving, when really he is just a person who was broken too many times and needs someone to show him he is worth the love and care everyone else is.

“Just doing your bit for the community, Case.” Rosie taps me on the shoulder. Riley breaks out into a laugh, but Addison’s eyes narrow on me as the guys head into Pucks.

“You know what you’re doing there, Case?” Addison says, just low enough for me to hear as she follows everyone in.

“What do you mean?”

“That guy has been broken before. I really only just got my brother back. Not that I think you’ll hurt him, I just… could you be careful?” My cheeks heat and I shake it off.

“Of course! Really, things with JJ are purely platonic. He’s your brother, anyway.” She nods, but her eyes search mine. I give her my best smile that I hope says, I have never had a sex dream about your brother. Not at sixteen and not now. She seems satisfied as she turns and heads in while I wait for my… friend.

“Jessie? I think we met at Noah’s?” Ethan throws a hand out to JJ as we enter and take our seats at the table. It took a lot of convincing, puppy-dog eyes, and smiles to get JJ to agree to come out. He was very adamant that socializing with his sister’s friends was ‘worse than death by Lingchi’–which he eventually had to explain was known as a death by a thousand cuts–but once I said, ‘This is what being real is, despite all the sorrow and crap we feel, we show up for people we care about,’ he grunted and rolled his eyes. Some choice curses under his breath, but here he is.

Jessie shakes Ethan’s hand and gives him a tight smile. Similar introductions are made with Lucas, Caleb, and Stella–who I am putting together is the crazy eyes Rosie was referring to.

Stella works at Bozzelli’s with Addison and Lucas, the crazy eyes part I think might be that they are so dark they could be black, but she also has this kick ass winged eyeliner that makes me envious of her wrist control to be able to pull that off. The one time I tried winged eyeliner, it looked like someone was trying leech therapy on my eyelids. Rosie had laughed herself sore before she was scrubbing it off my face. ‘I cannot, as a best friend, let you try to get laid with that on your face.’ Needless to say, makeup is not my strong suit.

“Drinks?” Rosie announces as we sit. “I’ll get first round.” She grabs her purse as people call out their orders.

“I’ll help!” I move from the seat, and just as I go to ask JJ what he wants, I clock the pleading look from his eyes. I wink at him. “I’ll be right back.” He stiffens and swallows before nodding and returning his attention to Addison and Riley. The latter steals my seat and intertwines her arms with her brother’s, whispering something that makes him laugh. Something loosens inside me. A warm unfurling that makes me feel light and happy. That Jessie is here, putting in effort and bridging gaps, not just socially, but with his sisters.

“Girl, JJ is hooked,” Rosie grunts as we head for the bar.

“What on earth are you talking about?” I shift my bag on my shoulder, and Rosie wraps an arm around my shoulders as we walk.

“He watches you like you’re the sun and you’re the first sunrise he has even seen.” I laugh and smack Rosie’s side.

“You are insane. Good simile, though. That editing is softening your heart.”

“Nonsense. There is no softening. I’m just excellent at my job. But seriously, do you know what you’re doing there?” Her tone takes a serious lilt and between that and Addison’s warning, I’m starting to get a bit frustrated.

“We are just friends. We don’t all have a sex agenda, Rosie.” She takes a step away from me like I just slapped her, and I have massive instant regret. The shock that those words left my mouth hits us both. I must look as stunned as I feel because Rosie softens and starts laughing, a full belly laugh that has her falling forward, bracing her hands on her knees.

“Would you look at that, Casey has claws. Maybe Jessie is good for you, too.” She smacks my ass and skips the rest of the distance to the bar. I shake my head and swallow past the lump of regret in my throat. I am not sure when I became so defensive or snarky toward my friend, but I’m not sure I like that version of myself.

“So, have you decided where you’re going to live, Riles?” Addison questions from across the table. The whole crew is finally here. I put together that the tall one is Ethan because he is the tallest of the lot. Lucas just does his usual thing of laughing when something was funny, getting the shout on his turn, small jabs and barbs at the guys when they arise, but otherwise he sticks quietly to himself and just… watches.

“I’m going to see if I can find share-housing or something.” She shrugs and sips her drink. “Everything is so expensive. And since Dad decided to go rogue and ruin all our lives, I can’t afford college or my own apartment.” The tension at the table becomes thick. Riley has never had a filter and sometimes it makes for awkward conversations, except our enigma at the opposite end of the table laughs deeply under his breath, which has a domino effect on Rosie and Stella, and suddenly we are all laughing with Riley.

“Nicely done, Riles,” Addison grunts as she downs her drink. Noah wraps a protective arm around her and squeezes her shoulder. A small comfort I notice softens her as she leans into his touch. A little bit of jealousy pokes at my chest before I shake it off and shove it down.

“Lucas, you have a spare room, right? Didn’t Lenny move out?” Noah questions.

I follow the table’s gaze as it lands on Lucas. He has a moment of shock, eyes widening before he corrects himself and nods. “Ahh… yeah, I’ll have a spare room at the end of the month… if you need.” His eyes nervously flit to Riley as he answers before fixing his gaze on his drink.

“Oh… thanks. I’ll see what happens.” Riley shrugs and sips her drink. I feel Jessie stiffen next to me. He watches Lucas with an unsettling frown, his hands on his legs closing into fists.

Before we have an unnecessary display of misplaced brotherly concern, I discreetly place a hand on his under the table. Prying his fingers apart and hopefully goading him into relaxing. I keep my attention on the table conversation, but I feel his gaze snap to mine before his eyes look to where my hand touches his. My plan is successful, and I feel him relax, turning his palm over, twining his fingers with mine. It feels oddly intimate, but also right, like it was just the right amount of grounding I needed and the right amount of calming he needed.

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