Page 37 of Falling for Fury

“Honestly? I have no idea. Felt like more, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Mom just tore through him and made him come say something. They probably don’t want Christmas to be awkward.” I try to laugh it off, but Matt doesn’t fall for my bullshit. “He asked if it was too late… I assume for my forgiveness? Maybe for us to be normal together? I have no idea.”

“He’s a dick. You just have to ignore him.” Great advice. Thanks Professor Genius. Matt shrugs, happy with his wise words, but remains assessing. “Noah left.” A statement, which I am not sure where he is going with. My cheeks heat instantly like I’m wearing ‘he went downtown on me last night and it was awesome’ written on my face, as my stomach sinks. He left without even saying goodbye. It shouldn’t hurt, but it does. I labeled it as fun and he just accepted that.

Not worth fighting for.

“Oh?”

“You guys seemed to have become chummy… anything I should know?”

“And why would you need to know anything?” I try to keep it light, but I don’t think my tone has ever known how to be anything other than snarky. Matt giggles because, like all sunshine people, nothing bothers him.

“Just checking. I see how he looks at you. I was just hoping he wouldn’t be dumb enough to make a move.” I don’t let the way his words hurt show. Of course, Matt doesn’t want someone as damaged as me tying down his friends.

Damaged goods.

Was it me? Did I do something last night that freaked him out? Is it my body? I’m not delusional to think I’m a Victoria’s Secret Model, but I run. I try to eat well enough, but it’s hard when energy is involved in cooking. So I suppose by ‘eat well’, I really mean my diet consists of fruit from the free basket at the market and ramen noodles. Oh god, maybe it was me.

My positive work comes undone. The worst thing is Matt has no idea. He thinks he means well, and this is part of why I hate being here. Being so incredibly misunderstood, no one understands what it’s like to be so in your own head. How words that feel and sound nonchalant dig the deepest holes. I squeeze Mia and ignore Matt’s comments.

“Want to go for a swim, kiddo?”

“YES! Can I get my unicorn floatie?”

“Of course! I’ll help you blow it up.” I look at Matt and give him a soft smile. He watches his daughter with love all over his face, and it warms me slightly. Kids really do just make things seem brighter.

Addison

The rest of the trip was a blur. Noah had apparently left the morning after he left my room. I didn’t allow myself to feel anything by it, or at least pretended not to feel anything, or by the fact that he didn’t say goodbye. Not even a text.

Dad and I barely made eye contact, and he didn’t try to finish his conversation. I guess he didn’t feel it was necessary. Mom had managed to seclude me for a few minutes the day after my soul searching hike to ask how I was doing. “Have you met anyone since Jake? It would be a pity if you let one bad egg ruin your outlook on love, dear.” It takes every ounce of self-control to not tell Mom to focus on her own relationship before she tries to throw advice my way. Although, something tells me she is very much aware of the mess of her life and is doing everything in her power to remain sane about it.

Ava, Matt, Riley, Mia, and I mostly went on hikes, spent nights in town at the restaurant, and played games for the remainder of the trip. Riley told me about her plans, wanting to move into the city to be closer to us and JJ, to perhaps finally think about going to college and starting her life. “It would be nice to go to a bar and pick up a guy that wasn’t in my preschool photos, you know?” I laughed at that, around the table playing cards with Ava and Matt. Mia sleeping soundly in her room. Vicky, George, Mom, and Dad outside by the campfire.

“Plenty of fresh meat in NYC Ri. You won’t be able to get enough,” Matt quips, and Ava and I both smack him in the arm.

“If you need a place to crash for a bit while you get on your feet, you can stay with us for a bit?” Ava offers.

“I might have to move to a cheaper apartment soon. Now that I am on a smaller paycheck, we can probably look for something together?” I give, as well, although secretly hoping she declines. I love my sister, I do, with every ounce of my being. I am really just not great at living with my siblings. Or anyone. Rosie and Casey seem to be the exception, and so far the only one.

“Thanks, it’s okay, though. I have a friend in the city who will probably live with me, or I have been looking at campus housing, too, which could be fun.”

“Campus housing is good, typically gender separated, though.” Matt winks at Riley.

“Oooo okay, probably not so fun then,” she levels with serious consideration.

“Playing by the rules never seemed like your style?” I quip back. Her devilish grin grows and a deep chuckle sounds from her throat.

“The wild side is more fun.” Devil child. “So why did Noah leave?” Riley says to Matt while looking me dead in the eyes. I give her a pointed look. Don’t you dare.

“Said he had a work emergency come up and needed to get back.”

Ava looks at Matt. “Is this about—” Matt nods, and Ava doesn’t finish, replacing her smile with a look of concern. “Hmm, he didn’t say anything to me? He is also only two hours away and has cell reception. Why didn’t he just handle it from here?” Ava asks and Matt gives an unbothered shrug.

“Who cares? Who’s turn is it?” I thought I said that without sounding bothered, but by the three sets of eyes burning into my soul, apparently I did not.

“Did something happen between you?” Ava questions.

Matt sits back in his chair, appearing relaxed, but I read his expression. He is curious, and considering our recent conversation, he is probably all too aware of whatever is going on with Noah and me.

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