Page 34 of Falling for Fury

Noah

I didn’t come to Addy’s room to seduce her into letting me touch her, not that I am complaining. I came here… to just tell her everything. The reason I’m here, the meeting with Matt before dinner, the conversation I overheard. Everything. I wasn’t going to take this step with Addison until there were no secrets. No lies. Well, I don’t know if it really is classified as a lie or rather an omission? I also don’t know if that distinction really matters, or if I am just trying to make myself feel like less of an ass for keeping it from her. I practically pulled my hair from my skull on the walk over, trying to come up with ways to tell her everything. Each scenario I played out in my head ended up with her crying, distraught, upset, angry. After hearing her cry through the walls, the sound of her heart breaking, I just couldn’t bear to witness that again.

All the things she would never turn to me to help her with—I mean, why would she? I don’t do relationships. Tell that to the aching organ in my chest. Instead, she would let herself suffer alone. And then she opened the door in those tiny pajamas, with the softest legs I’d ever seen, and her scent knocked my brain around and I suddenly couldn’t think straight.

She is now lying in my arms, in her bed, my chest still bare, her completely naked and sated tucked under my left arm. Her leg is hooked over my lower stomach and she draws idle circles on my chest as my hand rubs circles down her back. The whole thing feels perfect, like this is exactly where I should be, and it scares the fuck out of me. I have no idea what is happening, in my head, in my heart, or this thing between us. I don’t know how to explain any of this, how to make sense of it. All I know is that this feels like something I want to do more than once, something that isn’t just fun. Something that would have had Noah from twelve months ago running for the hills. One thing I know for certain is that I want Addison. I want all of her.

I feel her head tilt to look at me so I move mine to look at her. Truly beautiful. Something in my chest squeezes and my mind wanders for a moment.

When you know love, you can’t live without it… it feels like slicing through flesh and nerve, leaving the endings open to the wind. Death is a kindness when your heart is taken away from you.

I shake the memory of my mother’s haunting words, the words that are to blame for my no-love oath. Perhaps the mental warning is too late, because there is only one word I think and feel when I look at those furious green eyes.

Mine.

Addy seems to pick up on my accelerated heart rate as a smirk grows and her hand casually makes its way down the plane of my stomach. I grab her wrist before she dips below the belt.

“Addy, I didn’t come here for this.”

“Oh…” Her body tightens, a flush hitting her cheeks.

“Wait… no, I didn’t mean it like that.” She starts to roll away, but I tighten my grip on her as she lays to her back, and I sit up on an arm to lean over her, our mouths barely a breath away, and I give her the only words I can.

“I mean, I came here for you. To make sure you were okay… I had no… expectations. And please don’t mistake my words, I very, very much enjoyed myself.“ I gesture to the growing tent in my pants as I recall the sound of her breathy pants as she came on my tongue with my name on hers. “But… I don’t….” Why is communicating so fucking hard? “...know how to do… this.”

“What do you mean, this?” she asks, and fuck if her expression isn’t completely unreadable.

“I…” I don’t know how to say anything. My stomach is in my throat, twisting and flipping. The part of me telling myself to keep my distance is at war with the part of me that wants to claim her as mine, tell her about the feelings coursing through my veins, that I’ll wait for her to catch up, but I can’t go another day without her. Fuck.

“It’s fine, Noah. This doesn’t have to be anything. Fun, right? We can have fun?”

Fun. Fun.

“Of course.” I hope the pain of her words is hidden from my face.

Fun.

Well, fuck me sideways, Addy, the ache inside me feels anything but fun. My heart feels like it might stop beating. The thought of her being anyone else’s, or that there are people in her life that hurt her, continuously, makes me murderous.

But I can’t feel that way, right?

I look deeper into her eyes, hoping she can see the words I cannot say. I cough to clear the silence and pull myself away from her.

“Well, I should… ah, I should probably get going.” Before I make a complete fool of myself.

“Wait, what? Where are you going?”

“Your whole family is here, Addy. We don’t need them to know about any of our… fun.” I wish I did a better job of hiding the snark in my tone, but it’s late. I’m exhausted, with a raging boner, and a head full of words I shouldn’t say. I need to get out of here, clear my head, work out what the fuck is happening to me.

“Oh… are you sure… you don’t want me to…” I look at her and see her gesture to my pants. Yes, Addison, I’d love nothing more than to fuck you into next Tuesday, to know how it feels to slide my cock between those pretty lips. But for some reason my man-brain has left the building, and I also want to hold you, kiss you, make love to you, and then tell you a bunch of sappy words that would have Caleb questioning my sanity.

I don’t say any of that. I give her my most confident smile, lean back over, and place a soft kiss to her lips, and whisper, “See you soon, Addison.”

I leave the room and head straight for my suitcase.

Addison

“See you soon, Addison.” Of course, Noah doesn’t want to stay. He isn’t going to want a bar of me when I practically threw myself at him. Shame and second-hand embarrassment flood me. After Noah left my room last night, I struggled to find sleep, meaning I woke up with a mad migraine.

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