Page 61 of Falling for Fury

“You’re wasting your life,” he’d taunted me.

“Addy, you don’t have to tell me anything. But I’d really like you to trust me enough to tell me if you’re hurting.” His voice is low, and I sense uncertainty.

“Jake ambushed me. I didn’t know he was here. I was actually in the middle of writing you a text when I saw him at my front door.” My tone is flat but I don’t raise my head to look at him, instead I give him my phone so he can read what I wrote.

Noah’s body goes rigid under me and he all but growls, probably at Jake ruining what I’m sure he is picturing as a very fun night for him. He tosses the phone on the couch.

“What happened Addy? Did he hurt you?”

“Physically, no.” And that’s enough for him to shift, his heart ricocheting in his chest with his barely controlled rage. I decided to trust Noah, to let him into this part of me. Hiding from the spiraling thoughts, shoving down the signs of my anxiety, is just going to hurt me more. Noah has only ever accepted me, never giving me a reason to hide from him.

“He said my dad told him about Phoenix Legal. God knows why or where they managed to run into each other, or why Jake even cares. He reckons he was here to talk some sense into me. That I was wasting my life and throwing it away for a guy, never mind I was fired from the job before you and I even met. He told me that wasn’t the Addison he loved and that he would help me get my life back together, saying he’d give me another chance.” Noah growls, a deep rumble of disapproval, and I lean back to see his eyes burning holes into the wall opposite the couch, his face set in a fury that would rival mine. I grab his cheek and direct his eyes to mine, his face softening almost instantly as he leans into my touch.

“Hey, you don’t need to worry. I obviously told him no and to leave. I told him he was wasting his time.” He shakes his head slightly, a delicate smile gracing his face.

“I wasn’t worried about you going back to that man-child, Addy. I’m furious that he came here at all. That he said anything to you and made you feel small.” Tears well in my eyes, but I refuse to shed any more for Jake. I blink them back, and Noah reaches a hand up to brush a hair behind my ear. “There’s more,” he says, because he knows, because this man has the ability to read me like a fucking book.

I nod, but hold his eyes, hold on to the courage they give me. Knowing the reaction Noah is going to have. I take a deep breath and force myself to swallow, hopefully telling him with my eyes that I’m okay and he doesn’t need to do anything to fix me. “He… after I said no, he came at me.”

“I’m going to need to you clarify very quickly,” he says, his words clear and his body heating.

“He crowded me. He tried to touch my waist, but I pushed his hands away. He…” I swallow again, squeezing my eyes shut because the hurt and rage in Noah’s eyes make me anxious.

“Continue, Addison, please. My mind is probably suggesting things that are a hundred times worse than what happened, and I don’t want to overreact, but I might throw you to the couch and go after him.”

“He barricaded me into the corner and he just said a bunch of things to me.”

You’re a fucking whore. You jump from man to man.

Throwing your life away over some guy? I know a strip club where they take women like you.

Just another grad student who amounts to nothing. Your dad is right about everything he said.

“Addy,” he prompts, wanting to know more, but I shake my head. I can’t voice the taunts, can’t voice the damage they are doing inside me. “Okay, okay, shortcake.” He holds me tighter to his chest. My tears win the battle, and I cry. I let it out, the torment and the pain. The reminder of everything that floats around in my head. The drop back to reality from the high Noah had me floating on hurts like hell, like a slap to the face for being so stupid to think happiness like that lasts. Although having him here to hold me through the pain is a new comfort I haven’t had before. After a few minutes, I hiccup through the end of my sobs, dozing in and out of my sadness, the darkness absorbing all my energy. I feel Noah shift as he stands and carries me to my room, placing me delicately on the sheets. He gets up to leave and I cling to his shirt. “Please don’t leave,” I whisper, hating myself for begging for his company.

“I’m not going anywhere. I’m just going to put the food in the fridge and get changed.” He kisses my forehead and leaves the room, closing the door behind him, putting the room into darkness. My eyes snap open, trying to find the light, trying to ground myself, my heart rate picking up.

Wait, no. No, not now.

The robe on the back of my door comes into my vision as my eyes adjust, and it moves, the arms swaying, and the face of the demon forms as it smiles at me, focusing on me like I’m its next meal.

No, no, no, not now, not with Noah here. He can’t see me like this.

The walls close in on me as my chest starts to tighten, my breathing erratic, and I can’t control it, can’t climb out of the darkness.

You whore.

I try to find a light, anything. It feels foreign in this room, feels like everything is moved like it isn’t where it is meant to be. The room feels small but everything is far away.

Throwing your life away.

You’re a waste.

A failure. You’re worthless.

Not again. No!

It feels like I’m shouting, the blood rushing, like a ringing in my ears is all I can hear, and my eyes sting as the light floods the room from my door and I miscalculate the edge of the bed as I fall to the ground.

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