Page 94 of Textbook Romance

‘I guess he’s not who I imagined you with.’

‘Too young?’ I say.

‘Nah, like I know I’m a guy but he’s really good looking, Mum. You’ve got play.’

Mia cackles in reply, pushing my arm.

‘But there was a time when I worried I’d never get my mum back. What Dad did hurt you so much, and I saw how sad you were, and I just didn’t know what to do. And then Jack came along, and he made you really happy. He brought you back in the room. So yeah…’ he continues. ‘I’ll always miss what we were but I’m happy you had someone to remind you how fucking great you are.’

And at this point, I worry for poor Dylan because there are three of us sobbing in that room and he looks completely lost to know what to do.

‘Don’t swear,’ I tell him.

‘But you are fucking great,’ he says, giving me the biggest of hugs. ‘Why aren’t you going out with him anymore?’ he asks.

They all stand there looking for an answer. ‘Oh, Dyls. I just… I didn’t want him to commit to a life with me. I wasn’t sure what I wanted. I just felt too old for all that dating shit.’

‘Mum, you’re old. You’re not dead,’ he says, and Beth and Mia explode into giggles. ‘If he likes you and you like him, maybe you’ve got to go for it – not stand back because you’re…’

‘Scared.’

‘Exactly.’

Mia puts an arm around Dylan to signal her approval. ‘I like this one. He has a very good point. Did Jack say he loved you?’ she asks me.

I nod, tears in my eyes.

‘And do you love him?’ Beth continues.

Again, I nod. I felt something I’d not felt in a very long time. I felt seen. I felt an emotion so intense that it scared me. To feel it suddenly again after Brian, to think of potentially losing it again. But yes, the way it took hold of me felt very much like love. ‘But he’s leaving. He’s taken that job. I don’t want to get in the way of that. He needs to go.’

‘But maybe he needs to hear that you feel the same way about him? Maybe?’ Mia tells me.

‘I don’t want to mess with his head,’ I say.

‘But what do you want?’ Beth asks me.

I am Zoe Swift. I want to say I’ve never done anything spontaneous before in my life, but I kissed Jack first, I invited him up to my room, I made all those first moves because he drew that out of me. He made me experience a joy, a belief in myself that I’d never experienced.

‘Do we know what airport he’s going from?’ I ask Mia, frantically, pushing my hair back from my face and wiping my face.

‘No, but I can find out. I’ll ring Ed. He can come and pick us up,’ she says, her feet jigging from side to side. ‘Are we really doing this?’

And for a moment, I look over at Dylan whose face registers an emotion I can’t quite read. There was me thinking this would make him sad, that it would change too much in his life too quickly but all I see is excitement, happiness – a boy with this wonderfully calm and empathetic soul. I don’t know where he gets that from, not at all. He comes over to hug me and I sob on to his shoulder.

‘Thank you, Dyls.’

‘It’s fine,’ he says coolly. ‘Was Jack the one who sent us that Nando’s the night we came back from Manchester?’ he asks when we’re in hold.

‘Yeah.’

‘Yeah, then I like him. He’s a real one.’

Jack

‘BUT I DIDN’T KNOW THAT SHOES WERE SO HEAVY, DENNIS!’

The woman in front of me in check-in has a suitcase open on the floor. Her husband is refusing to pay the excess luggage fee and telling her she has to dump some shoes. Like put them in the bin because there’s nothing else to do with them. Naturally, she’s not happy and arguing her case whereas the rest of us in this queue at Heathrow are wondering why we didn’t think to check-in online.

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