Page 92 of Textbook Romance

The boys suddenly run through the door, Barney jumping straight into my lap. I inhale the top of his head, gripping my arms around him. George opens cupboards on the hunt for snacks.

‘Uncle Jack, I will miss you,’ he says and my heart stings for a small moment.

‘We can Facetime any time you want. I don’t know what my phone reception will be like, but I’ll try.’

‘Deal. Could you get Dad to get us phones to do that?’ he asks.

Ten years old. Wow. Dom sits there shaking his head.

‘Well, they’re not phones but I did get you some gifts,’ I say, reaching in a nearby cupboard.

‘Is it that puppy you promised us?’ asks George, jumping up and down, clapping his hands. The colour drains from Dom’s face. If it’s a bloody puppy, I likely won’t get my lift to the airport.

‘No, it’s better.’ The boys open the bag and inside are three of the biggest Nerf guns you’ve even seen. The boys react with roars and cheers and when I say ‘boys’ I mean Dom as well. They all compare models, and those boys hang off their dad, talking about how much fun they’re going to have. I hope so. I really do.

EIGHTEEN

Zoe

I sit there on the sofa, looking out into the room as Dylan goes to answer the front door. ‘Everything alright, Dylan?’ I hear a voice say.

‘Yeah, she’s in the living room. I don’t think she’s OK,’ I hear him reply.

Someone’s here? Who’s here? Dylan called someone? I look as two figures enter the room and, in my daze, I look up to see Mia and Beth both standing there over me. Mia sits down and immediately wraps her arms around me. I know she’s pregnant, but I can’t say anything. Beth just looks at the many tissues on the floor, wondering how to broach this.

‘Is it your ex again?’ says Mia, almost seething with anger. Please don’t get angry on my behalf. You’re growing a baby inside you.

I shake my head, pointing to the tree and showing Beth the note. She gives it to Mia to read who immediately tears up. Dylan hovers by the door. Given Beth lives so close, Dylan and Lottie have sometimes offered their babysitting services to her little ones so it makes sense that he’d call her, but I start crying again to know I’ve worried him. I usher him in for a hug. All three of them look at me while I sit here sobbing my heart out.

‘Dylan, hon. Does Mum have alcohol in the house?’ Beth asks me.

‘We might have something in the kitchen from Christmas?’ he replies.

‘Perfect. Can you go fetch it?’ Beth replies.

He leaves the room and Beth reaches over, sweeping her fingers under my eyes to wipe away the tears and correct the horrific mess I’ve obviously made of my eye make-up.

Mia re-reads the note again. ‘He’s leaving tonight,’ she tells Beth and to be reminded of that makes me cry again.

‘I’m so sorry that Dylan called you. What about your boys?’ I ask her.

‘Will has the boys. It’s all good. Stop worrying about me. Are you OK?’

I shake my head. I thought I was alright, I really did. Jack was going. Even though I had felt that loss since we broke things off, since convincing myself that this was the right thing to do, the note just cemented how much I have missed him.

Mia looks down at the tree. ‘That’s quite frigging romantic, isn’t it? Have you messaged him to thank him? You should send him a tree emoji,’ she suggests.

‘She should send him wood?’ Beth says.

‘Or bush, whatever,’ Mia replies and for a moment the laughter, the distraction is welcome.

‘I have a question,’ Beth asks. ‘Tell me to mind my own but why did you break up?’

I take a deep breath, my heart aching. I just remember standing there in that football field thinking that a bright and wonderful soul should be able to do anything he wants with his life. I didn’t want the guilt of holding him back. ‘I knew that he had been offered that job and I didn’t want him not to go, I didn’t want him to stay for me,’ I tell them through my tears. ‘The more I found out about him, the more I realised his life had stood still for his brother, and if he stayed for me then the same would have happened again.’

Beth looks at me, pained. ‘So you didn’t give him the option. If you weren’t an option then he would go.’

‘He would have the chance to live his own life. Not be pinned down by me,’ I say.

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