Page 74 of Textbook Romance

‘But…’ Liz mumbles.

I don’t say anything more. I turn to walk as Jack quietly salutes his goodbyes. Mercy me, that felt bloody good. Just keep walking.

‘Are they still looking?’ I ask as we move away.

‘Yes,’ he says, smiling. ‘Do you want me to grope you or something? I can put a hand on your arse. I’d be happy to, in fact.’

‘No. Just act semi-natural.’

He swings his arms next to him quite randomly and I double over giggling.

‘Expertly done, Mrs Swift.’

‘Really?’

‘Yes. Plus, you are far more attractive than her,’ Jack tells me.

‘Whatever,’ I tell him, looking down at my casual leggings Laser Tag vibe.

‘No competition. She and her coven were giving off witchy crone vibes. That’s not hot.’

‘That’s not, is it?’ I ask as we head off the main thoroughfare and turn a corner towards the car park.

He shakes his head and slides his hand into mine, knowing that we’re out of sight from curious eyes. The darkened street is quieter and he pulls my arm playfully towards a doorway, pushing his body into mine.

‘I mean, do any of them have a trophy for Laser Tag?’ he jokes. I shake my head, but he looks me straight in the eye, trying to check the emotion.

‘I don’t know if that went well,’ I tell him.

‘Oh, it did. You made her squirm. It was fun to watch, though I was frankly waiting for the slap. I’d have slapped her,’ Jack informs me. ‘Are you OK?’

He still looks me in the eye, and I can feel his concern. What I want to say is that I’m OK when you’re around. You make me feel stronger, like I can take on the world, I feel lighter. In these last few months, when my world has been upended, you’ve come in and put the table the right way up, re-arranged the chairs. You’ve sat down with me and held my hand and are re-filing all my emotions so they make more sense. I have no idea what this feeling now is, but you make me feel incredibly cared for and, for the moment, it means everything. After twenty-odd years of giving, of sharing my life, it suddenly feels like I have something just for me. I put a hand to his face and he kisses it, looking me in the eye. There are no words for this so I kiss him, adoring that feeling when his lips press against mine and he smiles, kissing me back. I will never tire of this. It’s possible that this is my favourite thing to do with him, the intimacy and immediacy of a kiss. It’s the opposite of marriage, it’s everything that was missing. I hardly remember a time when Brian and I would kiss like this. There were light pecks on cheeks, never drawn out and intense like this. Jack pushes me into the wall next to that doorway, one hand to my face and another reaching down to my back. My body reacts and relents to his touch as he looks around to hear footsteps.

‘Zoe, I really want you,’ he murmurs, his hands still reaching around me.

‘Here?’ I say, giggling.

And that look enters his eye, I know that look. I love it. He takes my hand and we roll further in the shadows of that doorway, sheltered from the street, and he whispers into my ear, ‘Maybe the naughtiest thing we can do is fuck literally two hundred yards from where that woman is sitting.’

As soon as the words leave his mouth, I exhale slowly, immediately aroused. I don’t do this. I sit at home and watch boxsets. I’m not illicit and wayward. I’m not sure I have the balance. But that look, that glint in his eye urges me to let go; it tells me to have some fun with this. Brian and Liz did – now it’s my turn. The tension between us builds and he kisses me, pinning me against the wall but reaching down to pull down my leggings and knickers with one fell swoop. As soon as the cold air hits my skin, I sigh but then feel the warmth of his hands against my thighs, his fingers stroking me gently. I moan, biting my lip, trying to restrain myself as I feel his cock pressed against me. He undoes his trousers, turning me around, my hands flat against the wall as he grabs tightly on to my hips and slides into me. And I can’t read this emotion at all. It’s fear, it’s complete disbelief that I’m doing what I’m doing at this very moment, but it’s also the way he’s not lost in this event. He leans into me, the warmth of his breath on my neck, putting a hand over mine and squeezing it tightly, doing his best to make me moan so loudly that even from this distance Liz might be able to hear.

Jack

So let’s get this right. I am not a sex in the street kind of boy but after seeing Liz, the olives and her witchy minions outside that bar almost shame Zoe, I felt we needed a response. Zoe is sometimes too calm, too measured, which is pitch perfect in the moment, but I knew she also needed a release, to do something a little vengeful. I’m not sure if it was very classy to have sex perched against a wall behind a key-cutter’s but I also wanted to prove to her that I want her, that I choose her, that in a moment of being confronted with the woman who was the other option, she didn’t even register in my mind. All I saw was Zoe.

‘Tea,’ she says, pushing a mug across the kitchen counter. And now we’re here, with Zoe following through on the promise of a sleepover. In her home. This feels like next steps and she knows it as she’s starting to look a little tentative. I’m just fascinated how we’ve gone from pretty intense sex to a very civil cup of tea within forty-five minutes.

‘That’s a good colour of tea,’ I tell her, sipping politely.

‘Why, thank you. I think it’s quite hard to get tea wrong, though,’ she says, reaching to the top shelves of a cupboard to obtain some biscuits.

‘You’d be surprised. Dom is awful at tea – I’ve seen him share one tea bag between three mugs before. Criminal.’

If I thought I’d seen Zoe in her natural habitat at school, I was wrong. This feels like her domain. I scan her fridge, looking at the certificates, reminder letters and magnets that decorate it. My eyes are drawn to a Polaroid picture of her and her kids. It’s not a Zoe I’ve seen yet, maybe only in that Facebook video her daughter posted, but it looks relaxed, a little goofy as she pulls a face. I go to the fridge with my cup of tea and examine it properly.

‘Where was that taken then?’ I ask her.

She arranges some chocolate chip cookies on a plate and comes over. ‘Oh god. Don’t. I look ridiculous there.’

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