Page 47 of Textbook Romance

‘Well, this is it. The disco bath,’ I tell him, not even looking him in the eye, picking up the remote. ‘It has a dimmer switch and jets and stuff,’ I say, like I’m trying to sell him the thing. He chuckles to look at it whilst I scan it quickly. Not a hair in sight.

‘It’s impressive,’ he admits with a nod.

‘Right? I feel bad Mia and Ed missed out on this.’

‘How do the jets work?’ he asks me.

‘To show you, I’d have to fill it up. Did you want a bath?’ I ask him.

‘With you?’

I make a very strange sound at the suggestion, a kind of snorting wail a scared deer might make. ‘I meant if you wanted to road test it, solo, not with me. I mean, I could fill it up so you could see what it does but if you just wanted to see what the jets do then I don’t want to waste the water because, you know…’

‘Know what?’ he asks me, trying to suppress a smile.

‘Polar bears and ice caps and stuff,’ I say, trying to maintain some order in this room, in my thoughts.

We both stand there in the bathroom, looking into the empty bath and burst into laughter. I don’t know what this is. Even less so when Jack puts a hand out, looking for mine, slipping his fingers around mine. I don’t flinch. I let him hold that hand.

‘Can I suggest something?’ he says.

Please don’t say sex in the bath. I still can’t bring myself to look at him.

‘Do you remember when we first met? At the wedding? There was a moment when I thought you really looked relaxed and happy. On the dancefloor.’

‘I was suitably lubricated.’

That was not the thing to say. He tries to hold in his laughter. I put a finger to the air to stop him from saying what he’s thinking.

‘So, let’s have a dance…’ he says.

‘Here?’ I ask.

‘We could both get in the bath?’ he suggests. ‘But I suspect we’d break it.’ He gets his phone out, connecting it to the speakers in the room, opening Spotify and handing it to me. ‘I’ll even let you choose the song.’

Just him and me, dancing in this very empty room. I am not sure how much that will help. I might have to turn the bath lights on to add some atmosphere. OK. I remember I quite liked dancing with you. Let’s see how this works. Jack peers over my shoulder as I try to pick a song. He takes off his coat and boots. He checks a bottle on the side of the bath. I wasn’t an animal, I didn’t finish the bottle, so he pours what’s left and has a sip, offering me some, too. I am conscious that his hand is on my shoulder. Got it.

‘RAYE?’ he says, as I select it. ‘The lady has good taste.’

‘Well, you know,’ I say, a little too confidently.

I press play and watch as he downs his drink and takes the coat off my shoulders. He takes my hand, pulling me into the main part of the room. He pretends to lunge, warming up, and I laugh. But he’s not wrong. Maybe I should lunge, too? The beat suddenly kicks in and he nods to signal his approval, moving his hips and arms, shoulders going. OK then. I’ll be game. I kick off my shoes, feeling my shoulders rotating, and start swaying from side to side. I can do this. Is it sexy, alluring dancing? I don’t quite know what that looks like, but I can’t seem to stop smiling because I don’t quite think his dancing is sexy either. He pulls faces, he looks strangely comfortable, silly even and it encourages me to do the same. He opens his eyes at me and puts a hand out, spinning me under his arm but that’s the move, isn’t it? As I spin, he pulls me in close to him. That was smooth. I can’t look at him, so I angle myself to look over his shoulder. Crap, that’s close. Can he hear my heartbeat that closely? I have no idea what to say, what to do, but I feel all of this a little too much. I feel something I’ve not had run through my body for years and I don’t know what any of it means. I rest my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes.

‘Please fuck me,’ I whisper. Oh, shit.

I stand back from him, the music still playing, and my eyes widened, mortified that I let my subconscious out. I put my hands to my mouth. ‘I’m so sorry, I really am. I don’t know what just came over me. That was…’

‘Kinda hot, I’m not going to lie.’ Jack stands there smiling. He catches my eye for a moment and my face feels hot, a sensation deep in my chest that feels like it could consume me. He walks over to me calmly and tucks a curl behind my ear. ‘What would you like to do?’ he tells me, his face centimetres away from mine. ‘I can leave if you want?’ His cheek brushes against mine. I shake my head, until my chin rises and I press my lips gently against his. His kiss in return is sweet, light, like he still doesn’t want to pressure me into this, like he cares, and the intimacy of it floors me.

‘Stay,’ I whisper. ‘There are things I’d like to do…’

I don’t know this Zoe. I don’t know her at all. But she kisses Jack harder with more urgency and he leans into it, pulling my body into his. I’ve never felt a kiss like this, the spark of it, some chemistry that draws me to him. My hand moves to the back of his head, grabbing his hair as he moves down my neck across the top of my cleavage before pulling my dress down and part of my bra, his lips finding my nipples. I can’t cope with the intensity of it, my body shuddering in pleasure and surprise, sighing gently. He returns to my lips, and we step backwards slowly before falling onto the bed, both of us laughing as we bounce into the mattress.

He looks at me for a moment.

‘So, what would you like to do?’ he asks me, kissing the underside of my chin.

‘Can I be honest?’ I say, as his hands move down to my stomach, along the curve of my thighs. ‘I’m not quite sure.’

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