Page 96 of Textbook Romance

‘Most likely my mates, Sarah and Hakeem – maybe the orangutans.’

‘But Zoe will be there, too.’

We never told the boys about Zoe, and it pains me to hear that they liked her. I did. I liked her very much.

‘Zoe?’ I ask them. ‘She’s… No, we… She’s not coming,’ I tell them.

‘Then why is she here?’ asks Barney.

As soon as he says the words, Dom and I look at each other and then let go, my eyes following Barney’s hand as he points towards someone standing away from us. Zoe? She’s here? She stands there in a black winter coat and scarf, taking off her hat and ruffling her curls. She puts a hand to the air, and I return the gesture. My whole being aches to see her. Why are you here? Mia and Ed are here, too. I don’t quite know what to do but the boys do, and they run towards her.

‘Zoe! Why are you here?’ George says, stealing my line.

She bends down to hug them. ‘How are you, boys? I thought I better come and say goodbye to Uncle Jack. Is that OK?’

They nod as Dom salutes us both. ‘Come on, boys. Let’s go buy Uncle Jack some sweets for the flight.’ I wave at Ed and Mia, keeping their distance as Zoe returns to her feet and we stand there facing each other. I don’t know what to say to her. I want to embrace her tightly. I want to say I spend a good portion of every day thinking about you, that all that emotion I felt for you never quite went away. I don’t think it has.

‘You’re here…’

‘I am.’

‘You could have called, sent an emoji,’ I tell her.

‘I was told the tree emoji could be too suggestive.’

‘This is true.’

I reach up and put a hand to her face as I can tell she’s been crying.

‘Was it the tree? Did it make you cry?’

‘Yes. Very much so.’

‘I’m sorry.’

She shakes her head with a smile. ‘Never apologise to me.’

All I see is her. In this crowded, rammed departures hall, surrounded by trollies, people, lights and announcements, it feels like I could just stand here and hold her hand in this little bubble, until this place empties and they turn off all the lights.

‘Are you all checked in?’ she asks.

‘Yeah, I have about…’ I look at my watch. ‘Two hours until boarding.’

Her eyes well up and I take her hands in mine to try and halt all that emotion in its tracks.

‘I came here to tell you something. I want you to go. I think it’s really important that you go today and that you have the best adventure, but I needed to let you know something first,’ she says.

I lean into her to catch all her words, watching the warmth exude from her face, the way I can tell she pauses to carefully select her words.

‘I did love you.’

I stop to take a breath as she says that, squeezing my hands tightly.

‘I was completely and utterly overwhelmed by you. I didn’t expect it. I couldn’t quite believe it and I was never quite sure what to do with it. I felt like some very stupid, old…’

I put a finger to the air.

‘More experienced?’

---