Page 2 of Textbook Romance

They both narrow their eyes. It’s a good story. A tray of drinks does the rounds and we all take a glass.

‘Well, here’s to new acquaintances.’ Zoe toasts, smiling. ‘And the happy couple.’

We all clink our glasses and look over at the couple in question, Mia and Ed. Who would have thought Ed, king of the geeks, someone who wore old-man Asics at university, would bag himself such a gem? They’re not the likeliest of couples, a bit of an opposites attract thing. But both of them beamed through that ceremony, and for both of them to have found that love and eternal friendship in each other is rather excellent. That’s all you ever want for your nearest and dearest: happiness.

I turn back to the table plan. ‘So, can you talk me through this table? I don’t know any of these people,’ I tell them.

Zoe looks at the list and widens her eyes at one of the names, then glances at me. She thinks I didn’t notice.

‘I saw that.’

‘Saw what?’ she says, taking a long sip from her drink.

Beth purses her lips, trying to keep in her giggles.

‘They’ve put you with the ladies from the school office,’ Zoe says. ‘They are a kind but lively bunch.’ She gestures over to a corner of the room where there is a lot of cackling and leopard print. One of them has a fascinator so large I think it could pick up radio signals.

‘Seriously? Ed is one of my oldest friends – where’s the camaraderie? Why has he set me up like this? Where are you sitting, Beth?’

‘The Mandalorian,’ she says proudly. Zoe high fives her.

‘Why couldn’t I be on the cool table?’ I moan. ‘You two seem like fun.’ They both smile to be labelled as such.

‘He’s sat you next to Claudia,’ Zoe adds. ‘Maybe the set up was intentional? From what I hear, Claudia is newly single. Are you single?’

‘I am. What’s this Claudia like then? Is she nice?’ I enquire.

‘She’s about your age, I reckon? How old are you?’ Zoe asks.

‘That’s a very personal question,’ I reply, jokingly. ‘But I’m twenty-nine… and a bit. Yourself?’

‘A lady doesn’t answer such things,’ Zoe jokes and gives me a look. I don’t know what that look means. Have I offended her? She looks about mid-thirties, but I won’t say that out loud.

‘Well, age is but an arbitrary label that just denotes how many years we’ve been on the planet, no?’

‘My knees say different,’ Zoe retorts, laughing. I look down at her knees and she catches my eye, wondering why I would be looking her up and down. I can do that, no? ‘Claudia, on the other hand, has very youthful knees.’

‘Does she now?’ I like the banter here, it’s making this interesting. Zoe covers her mouth and places a hand on Beth’s shoulder to steady her giggles. ‘And what else do we know about Claudia?’ I ask.

‘She and her boyfriend grew apart…’ Beth intervenes.

‘How do you…?’ Zoe asks.

‘She’s a big social media sharer. She also lost a stone eating nothing but carrots.’

‘So she’ll be useful later when I’m trying to find my Uber,’ I joke.

They both laugh and I grin back, pleased to have brought some comedy to proceedings. They refuse to point her out to me, though. I hope she’s not the lady with the giant fascinator. That’ll have my eye out.

‘Well, enjoy…’ Zoe tells me, resting a hand on my arm. I like her. Why can’t I be sitting with her? ‘Come and find us on the dancefloor later?’

‘Or the bar. I will see you at the bar…’

‘Then it’s a date,’ she says, stopping slightly, hoping that wasn’t too forward. It wasn’t.

‘I’ll hold you to that.’

Zoe

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