Page 89 of Bad & Bossy

“You didn’t even give me a chance to answer.”

“I didn’t need to.”

“He isn’t,” she said, and my world came to a halt. I studied her, watched every movement of her face, but it didn’t sit right. “Why would you think that?”

“The timing. He looks like me. He’s six months old tomorrow, correct? Let’s rewind fifteen months,” I spat, pushing my fingers through my overgrown hair to give them something to focus on. “That puts us… damn, almost exactly to the fucking day I took you out for the first time.”

“We didn’t have sex that night,” she gulped, but the little step back she took made me think otherwise.

“We did.”

She pivoted and my stomach sank further. “The timeline is murky but there were other people I was seeing then.”

“Other people you were fucking?” I asked, and although she hesitated, she nodded. I raked my teeth over my bottom lip, my head swimming, her denial and resistance only confusing me more. Her body language said I’d called

her out, but I wanted to trust her, wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt that she wouldn’t keep that from me. “I wasn’t drinking,” I added.

And so we went around again.

Back and forth, a blame game that never fucking ended. I couldn’t tell her I’d relapsed—I knew that for certain and I hated myself for it. I had to wait until she was in the right headspace to hear that, and now wasn’t the goddamn time to deal with this shit. It broke my heart to keep it from her, to know that she knew and not give her that truth in return, but the part of me that wanted to hide was screaming louder than the part of me that wanted her comfort.

And for once, it felt like it was right.

“Please, just say it, Cole,” she snapped, one single finger jabbing into my chest.

“I have nothing to say.”

She scoffed and pushed harder, her nail nearly breaking through my unwashed t-shirt as it pressed against my skin. “You’re just like my mother. You know that?” she seethed, taking a step toward me and forcing me back toward the window at the end of the hall. “She was a recovering alcoholic, too. But you know what she did? She caved. Time and time again, she couldn’t help herself. She ruined my fucking life.”

The burn itched in the back of my throat. “Dana.”

“I never, ever, in my wildest dreams thought I’d fall for a shit like her,” she fumed, but the words felt too fueled with emotion to sting like she wanted them to. She choked on them, fresh tears forming, and although it fucking hurt, I just wanted to wipe them away. “I never wanted this for myself. And I certainly don’t want it for my son.”

I swallowed, watching the way her lips formed around the words she spoke. Why did I still want to hold her in the midst of this? Why did I just want to make it go away? I didn’t have an answer for myself, so instead, I bridged the gap, reaching across the distance between us and brushing my fingers against her cheek. So damp. “If you knew when you met me, would you take it back? All of it?” I asked, my voice barely more than a whisper.

Her eyes slammed shut as she turned away from my touch, another tear breaking free.

“Dana,” I pressed.

“Maybe,” she whispered.

The longer we stood there, the wider the gap between us grew and the tenser our silence became. I just wanted this to be over, wanted us to stop fighting, but it felt like we weren’t getting anywhere. I wasn’t going to budge, and neither was she.

“I want you to leave,” she rasped and everything came crashing down.

“I’m not leaving,” I stated, removing my hand and taking a step back. I wanted to throw up, wanted to cry, wanted to run but not away. I wanted to run to Drew. “Not with Drew still needing this much medical attention. I can’t.”

“If you won’t tell me what’s going on, then I can’t have you near him.” Her fingers wrapped around her biceps, hugging herself tightly. “I just can’t.”

I can’t have you near him.

“I’m not leaving him, Dana!” The words boomed around the walls of the hallway. I didn’t realize how loud I’d spoken, but I couldn’t take it back now. Whether he was mine or not, I felt too attached to him to leave him like this. “I can’t, I won’t, it’s out of the fucking question.”

“Please don’t make me call security.”

Security? Could she, would she even?—

“Guys, guys, what’s going on?” Lottie’s voice carried down the hall as the nurses wheeled the X-ray machine from Drew’s room. She caught up, glancing in before walking past.

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