Page 45 of Losing My Rejection

“Andy–”

“It’s fine,” I lied with a shrug. “I’m not upset. You have to go after your dreams and it doesn’t sound like they’re here in Shifter Grove.” I looked him dead in the eye. “How could they be? This is the last place you wanted to be from the beginning.”

I watched something within him break as my words landed on his ears. The once proud Alpha snapped, his shoulders dropping at his sides. Without saying a word, he took off his apron, handed it to me, and stepped around the counter.

“Can I get that sticky bun to go?” his father asked, glancing nervously between the two of us.

I packaged it up and handed it over. “It’s on the house.”

“Thanks.”

He grabbed his son by the shoulder and led him toward the door. Only at the last second did Josh turn around and lift his tear-filled gaze to me.

“Goodbye,” he mouthed, but no sound came out.

The moment the door was closed, the emotions overwhelmed me. I kicked my way through the kitchen door, crying out in fury. I threw Josh’s apron at a nearby shelf, sending several metal pans clattering to the ground. Cursing, I kicked one of them across the floor, putting a massive dent in the bottom that made it unuseable.

I felt so fucking broken. Words couldn’t even begin to describe how angry and sad I was. I couldn’t believe, after everything we’d been through, that Josh not only didn’t tell me about his father, but walked out with him in front of me. He didn’t even try to defend himself or correct me when I said I was only his boss. It was just like last time, except I didn’t make a scene. At least I didn’t until they were gone.

I glanced around the kitchen, desperate for something to do to get my mind off things. If I didn’t distract myself, I was going to fucking explode. On one of the far benches was the box Josh had brought with him earlier that morning. Like a bull on a rampage, I charged toward it and ripped the lid off, hoping there was something in it I could destroy to make myself feel better.

What I found was a small bag filled with five onion-like brown bulbs. Lying next to them was a small white card with my name written on the front in Josh’s handwriting. I snatched it out and tore it open, furious and desperate to see what it said.

Andy,

On our first market day, you said that Hyacinths were your favorite flowers. Ace was right, they’re impossible to find at this time of year, so I got you these bulbs instead. At least this way we can watch them grow together, no matter where we are, and our love will grow alongside them.

Maybe that’s cheesy, but I mean it. I love you.

Love Always,

Josh

With the card still clutched in my hand, I fell to my knees on the bakery floor and began to cry. I’d been so close to being happy.

And now, once again, I was alone.

Chapter Twenty-Three: Josh

I was quiet the entire way back to the hotel. And when we walked through the lobby, I couldn’t even bring myself to look up at Sam when he said hello. My father gave him a friendly smile, but I just stepped into the elevator and headed up without a word.

The old familiar anger was seeping into every nook and cranny of my body once again. I felt just like I had when I’d arrived in Shifter Grove. Except this time, instead of being pissed at my father, I was pissed at myself. Andy had every right to react the way he did, to be absolutely infuriated with me because I didn’t tell him what was going on. I withheld the truth, hoping I wouldn’t have to face it head-on like I always did. I was a coward, and Andy deserved better than that.

I always thought it was somebody else’s fault that my life was hard. Turns out it was probably my fault the entire time. I was being selfish. When my father gave me an ultimatum, I chose what I wanted, and it blew up in my face, landing me in Shifter Grove. And I’d made the same mistake again. By keeping it all a secret, I’d made the selfish choice once more, and my entire world came crashing down around my ears.

By the time I made it back to my room, there were tears running down my face. I hated myself for what I’d done to Andy. But now there was nothing I could do to fix it. The damage was done, and his trust in me was shattered. After everything he’d told me about his life, I’d gone and done the same wrongs to him again. I’d kept him a secret, ashamed of what my father might think of me, and hurt him in the process.

I wasn’t sure I could ever forgive myself.

“Are you okay?” my father asked as he stepped in the room behind me.

“It’s nothing,” I replied, wiping my eyes. “Just nerves I guess.”

Another lie, but I didn’t really feel like going into it with him right now. In fact, I wasn’t sure I ever could. He’d kicked me out of my home after I told him I didn’t want to be Gamma, I had no doubt he’d react much worse to the fact that I’d been sleeping with a man for weeks. Besides, he didn’t need to know, anyway. That part of my life was over now. Once I got back to Traverse City, everything would go back to normal. And, somehow, I’d have to figure out how to forget about Andy.

There was the sound of footsteps in the hall and I turned to see Sam appear in my door. His gaze zeroed in on me instantly and he looked like he was about ready to murder someone.

“Who is this?” he asked, pointing toward my father. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

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