Page 29 of Losing My Rejection

“But… you’re my boss!”

“And you’re straight.” His eyes darted away from mine. “Unless… that’s changed?”

“I don’t fucking know, okay?!” he snapped, pushing himself up from the couch. He tipped the glass back, draining it in a single gulp. “I don’t know what I am anymore! A month ago I was the Gamma’s son, a high-ranking member of the pack, a culinary student, and straight.” He gestured to himself. “Now I’m fucking nothing!”

I put my glass down on the side table, and scooted to the edge, my hands clasped between my knees. “You see? This is your problem, Josh.” I bit back my irritation. I was getting tired of him trying to run away every time something got uncomfortable. He was going through a lot, but I was also getting tired of being yelled at. “You keep focusing on the past.”

“That was my whole life!” he shouted.

“And now it’s over!” I snapped back at him. “I’m not the one that hurt you so quit fucking yelling at me!” He visibly flinched and I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath to calm myself. “That life you had is gone. I know how bad that hurts. I’ve been in your position. Nobody ends up in Shifter Grove for good reasons. I’m not telling you to forget everything that’s happened to you, because that’s impossible. But if you just sit around torturing yourself every damn day about it, you’ll never live the life that you have here.”

He crossed his arms over his chest and turned away from me. It wasn’t a move of defiance, but because his shoulders were shaking and he looked like he was about to cry. He was hiding. I pushed myself to my feet, taking a step toward him.

“I’m not here to hurt you, Josh. I know all of this is so confusing for you and not easy to deal with. You’ve been through a lot of change in a short amount of time. But… I want to be your friend.” I reached out, placing my hand on his shoulder. “And I want to help you if I can.”

“Why?”

“I already told you,” I smiled. “I like you.”

“You mean you want to fuck me.”

I grabbed him roughly by the shoulders and spun him around, forcing him to face me. “No. I want to support you in any way that you’re comfortable with. If that means being a lover, I’m happy to do it. But if you want me to just be your friend, then I’ll… be okay with that.”

It was easy to see what I really wanted, and he sensed it. But instead of getting upset or pulling away from me, he just stared.

“Why does my skin tingle where you touch me?” he asked softly. “Why does your scent drive the wolf inside me crazy?” His hands slowly came up, lacing behind my neck as he leaned on me. “Why can’t I stop thinking about you?”

“I feel it too,” I replied, leaning my forehead against his. “It’s really strong.”

“Is… is it the mate bond?”

My eyes went wide. I never thought he’d say those words.

“You heard it too?”

He nodded. “I feel like I’m going insane. Two weeks ago I noticed attractive women everywhere. But now… all I can think about is you.”

That might’ve been the sweetest goddamn thing anyone had ever said to me. “You know there’s nothing wrong with that, right?” I offered, hoping to quell his fears even if it was only the tiniest bit. “There’s nothing wrong with liking another man.”

“I know… I just… it’s different when it’s you.” He clenched his eyes shut, trying to force back his tears. “I had gay friends at school and never thought twice about it. But when I started feeling things… well, there’s a lot of voices in my head telling me it’s wrong. I didn’t know they were there.”

“We all hear that at first. We’re told we have to be one way and then we end up a different way. It leads to a lot of self loathing.” I ran my thumb over his cheek. “But it’ll go away if you let it. Those voices are all behind you now. You can be and do whatever you want.”

“The last time I tried to do what I wanted, I lost everything.”

“Josh,” I said, lifting his chin so our eyes met. “What more do you have to lose?”

It was a brutal, but honest question. Josh was still worried that if he followed his heart, he’d lose all the things that he loved back home. But they were already gone. No amount of denial was going to change that or bring them back. Being miserable wasn’t going to get his father to walk back through that door and accept him again.

He considered me for a long moment, his eyes darting back and forth between mine. Finally, when he could no longer take it, his grip tightened and he pulled me close, his lips meeting mine once more. I knew I should resist and give him time to process. But the moment he touched me, all willpower I had vanished. I melted into him, allowing him inside. His tongue danced across mine and the butterflies erupted in my stomach. In a matter of seconds, I was completely lost in his embrace and instinct took over.

I felt myself topple backward as Josh leaned into me, the pair of us landing on the loveseat. But it didn’t break our drive in the slightest. In fact, it seemed to only intensify it. Before I could form a coherent thought, Josh had his hands on the hem of my shirt, tearing it up and off my body. His went next and his tongue dove back into my mouth. The way our flesh pressed together had my entire body covered in goosebumps. My hands automatically went to his belt, pulling and pushing until his pants came loose.

He backed off for only a second to kick off his shoes and jeans. I followed his lead, our clothing ending up in a heap on the floor. But this time I kicked off my underwear too. Our sexcapade the night before had been fun, but I wanted more this time. And as Josh stared at my throbbing rod, his cock gave a heavy twitch. Apparently he wanted more too.

His thumbs were in the waistband of his briefs, but he hesitated. Those deep brown eyes of his were heavy with thought. I reached out, placing a hand on his chest to steady him.

“Only if you’re comfortable,” I said softly.

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