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Oh, I knew very well how to interpret Yukio behavior by now. He had complained about Vlad, but then set up a solution to the bat's problem, letting the disgusting rodent have a place in his precious kitchen space. Which meant he actually didn't mind. If he truly hated Vlad, he would have frozen him solid and pitched him out the back door. Not welcomed him into his space. "He's such a softie," I murmured.

Martina snorted, clearly not sharing my opinion about our fellow court member. "Sorry to bother you and burst in here with the entourage," she said as the sound of her voice moved closer. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay?"

I turned toward her with a smile. "You're not bothering me at all. Come here!" I held out my hands and she took them in her own, letting me draw her closer. She kissed my chin, and warmth bloomed in my chest.

"I know the other two idiots were busy posturing, and everyone else is either on edge about the emperor or your mother or falling all over themselves to be helpful," she said in a wry voice. "If I was you, all the fussing would drive me to violence."

I chuckled. Martina was an alpha too, just like Robin and Sadavir, but her nature had been suppressed for a long time under the thumb of her vampire captors and tormentors. She told me once that she hadn't even known she was an alpha until Robin took her in and helped her learn her own strength. She deferred to Robin by choice, not because nature demanded it. And although her alpha impulses did show themselves now and then, she wasn't ruled by them the way the more dominant alphas seemed to be. As a result, she had far less patience with all of their growling and posturing than the rest of us. She didn't have the gamma urge to defer to her alpha. And she didn't have the beta urge to coddle everyone to keep them happy and make them comfortable. Martina was far more practical.

"They are all just doing what their natures demand," I said with a shrug. "It doesn't excuse every single lack of judgement on their part, but… one can hardly expect a fish not to need water or a bird to be content under the sea. I think they're all doing their best." Sometimes their best just wasn't that great. But that could be said of anyone, myself included.

Martina lifted one of my hands and kissed the knuckles. "You really are too good for us, you know that right?"

I grinned. "Yes, I know."

"Humble too," she said, humor lacing her warm alto voice. "Clearly you've been spending too much time around Robin and Yukio."

"Well," I said with mock sadness in my voice. "I hardly had a choice where Yukio was concerned. Feel bad for me, won't you?"

She laughed, low and husky. "Oh, I'm not blind. I can see—and smell—how things have shifted between the two of you. I don't think you suffered too much."

She squeezed my hands one last time, then released them. "But you probably wanted some privacy and some time to rest and process everything that's happened. I didn't mean to invade your space. I'll go. I just wanted to make sure you weren't in here having a nervous breakdown."

"No." I reached for her, finding her shoulder and halting her movement. "Stay, please?" I sighed. "I know it only seemed like a couple of days to you. But in the fae enclave a couple of weeks passed. I've missed everyone. I've missed you. And… I hardly ever get to spend time with you alone." I couldn't help the little bit of a whine that crept into my voice.

Martina's warm fingers touched my cheek. "Oh, Ruya. Did you think… I was avoiding you?"

I shook my head. "Of course not," I rushed to assure her. But a little part of me wondered… I liked Martina. I was attracted to her, and I knew she was attracted to me, and yet, we had never progressed past a few heated kisses now and then. She always seemed to slip away into the background around here. And while I hated that, I wondered if it was by her own choice.

Maybe she didn't want anything more from our relationship, despite our alpha-omega pull. Or… maybe I had misread everything, and she had only kissed me because of my omega nature. Maybe my feelings were one-sided and to her it was nothing more than a fleeting bit of occasional pheromones interfering with a platonic friendship.

Despite all of my recent escapades and sexual exploration, I really was inexperienced in these things. I had never had any sort of romantic relationship or interaction before I was rescued from the cult. The Mother insisted those sorts of things were impure and would ruin my healing abilities. I knew now, of course, that was all a lie, just one more way to control me. But… perhaps my naivety was showing.

I felt ridiculous. Too needy. It wasn't even my heat cycle and here I was, feeling like everyone around me should spend their time fawning over me. How stupid. Was this part of being an omega too? Or was I just this absurdly self-centered?

"Ru?" Martina cupped my cheek, drawing me out of my spiraling thoughts. "Earth to Ruya. Where did you go, sweetheart? You look like you're overthinking something. Furiously."

I sighed. "I'm sorry. I just…" I pulled myself together and took a deep breath. "Martina, do you want me?"

She froze, the gentle stroking motion of her thumb across my cheekbone halting. Then she let out a surprised laugh. "Do I want you? Only more than I've ever wanted anyone or anything in my life. What brought this on?"

I felt my face go hot as a furious blush crept over me. "I thought maybe I was wrong. I'm not… I don't just know these things the way the rest of you do. I've lived in a sterile prison most of my life. And we've never…" I stopped my rambling and took a breath to get a hold of myself. Forcing myself to speak slowly and clearly, as if my heart wasn't racing. "I thought perhaps it was only my omega nature that was muddying the waters."

"Oh, Ruya," she said softly. Then she paused. "Hold on," she said with a laugh. "I can't take you seriously when you're wearing a bat on your head." She helped me carefully disentangle Vlad's feet from my hair and I placed him on his perch in the corner of the room.

"Now," Martina said once I was bat free. "Come here." Then she slipped her hand behind my neck and pulled me down to her, so she could kiss me breathless. My entire body lit up at the touch of her soft lips, at the feel of her compact strength pressed to my body. Pulling back, she gave my lower lip a little nip before she spoke again, her voice soft and husky.

"I haven't been avoiding you, sweetheart. I've been trying to give you space," she informed me. "I was trying to let you come to me, when you were ready. You have so many people pursuing you. The entire court is in love with you, and some of the boneheads are ridiculously possessive and pushy. I didn't want you to feel pressured into anything, and I have the apparently unique ability to be an alpha and exercise some self-control."

Her thumb stroked over my lips now, a teasing brush that left delicious tingles there. "I know what it's like to have your freedom taken away. And… I know my situation was much different than yours, but it makes me hesitant to ask you for sex. Partly because I know you don't have all that much experience. And also, because… well, for a long time sex was an obligation or a punishment to me, not something I got to choose. I have trouble asking anyone for intimacy after all my time with the vampires."

"Oh," I breathed on a tremulous whisper. "I'm so sorry, Martina. I didn't mean to remind you of old wounds! How could I be so oblivious?" I wrapped my arms around her, only fumbling a bit to get it right. Then I held her tight, tucked in against my chest.

"It's fine," she murmured against my throat. "You didn't do anything wrong, Ru. I've done a lot of healing over the years. I just wanted to explain. I'm sorry if I confused you or ever made you feel unwanted. That wasn't my intention." Her strong arms banded around my waist, and I nuzzled my cheek against the top of her head, where her hair was long enough to form soft curls, and just breathed her in.

"We are both quite silly, it seems," I told her wryly. "Though I do appreciate your thoughtfulness." The entire rebel court was, each in their own way, always so careful to respect my independence and my right to consent. Even the alphas. It was touching, since these were concepts that were never offered to me in my old life. But sometimes it was also maddening. I wasn't made of glass. And I wasn't such a push-over that I couldn't speak up for myself.

"Martina?" I asked, only blushing a little this time. "Will you make love to me, please?"

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