Angel backstroked to the side of the pool. Spreading her arms out along the edge, she leaned her head back and stared up at the full moon. She remained silent for a long time.
“There’s one thing that does make me unsure. I know I’m not a shy wallflower, Conan,” she began. “But I’ve had dreams—confusing ones. Sometimes I’m this quiet, studious girl, and other times I’m a wild party girl who takes exactly what she wants. I don’t know who I am or which of those personas actually fits, but I do know life is too short not to live in the present.”
As she spoke, I watched, unable to look away. Her face was so incredibly beautiful, illuminated by the moon. For a beat, neither of us spoke. I exhaled a slow breath.
She gazed up at the stars with a melancholy expression. Even from where I was standing, I could see the unshed tears glistening in her eyes. “What if I never get my memories back? Am I supposed to live life in limbo or move on?”
I stayed silent, watching her breath. I wanted to freeze time, to hold on to this moment forever. No woman had ever affected me this deeply. Maybe it was her innocence—the fact that she was a blank slate due to her amnesia, free to write her story anew without the weight of past memories. God, how I longed to help her fill those empty spaces.
“You know, in the vast timeline of the universe, our lives are but fleeting moments,” she said. “Everything is temporary—the worst of times, the best times—especially the best ones. We only have so many years to experience love and life as humans. We should embrace every moment, even the painful ones, and love them, all of them, no matter the pain or the pleasure, because they are all part of our journey.”
She took a deep breath, speaking thoughts that I could never put into words.
“Heartache, grief, agony—they all teach us, shaping who we are. There’s no wasted experience if we learn from it. Our willingness to fail determines our capacity to grow. The clock never stops ticking. The only regret you’ll have is not striving harder for what you truly wanted when it was right in front of you.”
Her insightfulness hit me hard. She was right. The sand in the hourglass never slowed down, and we only had so much time to reach for what we wanted.
Bringing her focus back to me, she threw up her hands, her eyes flashing with annoyance. “I have to move on at some point,” she said, biting her lip. “I can’t just live here with Sam and Atticus. I have to figure out how to take care of myself. I deserve to live a normal life like everyone else.”
She paused, inhaling sharply. “And…how dare you get up on some sort of moral high horse and judge me for being a goddamn woman with needs and wants?”
Her words hit me like a punch. I stepped back, my mind racing. “Angel, it’s not about judgment. It’s about acting with integrity. You’re in a delicate place right now. I don’t want to be the guy who takes advantage of that.”
She pursed her lips, irritation etched across her features. “Maybe I don’t need you to protect me. Maybe I just need you to see me as a person who deserves to live, to feel, to want.”
Hesitating for a moment, I breathed in the scent of chlorine and summer air. “I see you, Angel. Trust me, I do.”
Her eyes softened, the fire dimming but not extinguished. “Then show me, Conan. Show me that you see me.”
I scrubbed my hand over my chin as her words resonated in my mind. Dammit, she had a point, and I had no retort for her logic. I wanted to argue, to push back, but she had me pinned. She was so fucking smart and confident, and that turned me on more than I cared to admit. But the last thing I wanted was to take advantage of her. I stood at the end of the pool, unsure what to say or how to react. She had me cornered, and no matter which way I moved, it felt like the wrong decision.
If I pushed her away, she’d think I wasn’t interested. But if I gave in, I’d be taking advantage of her.
“Angel—you’re making this so hard.”
“It’s not about making things easy or hard. It’s about being real,” she replied, her gaze unflinching. “I want you to see me for who I am, just like I see you.”
Stabbing my fingers into my wet hair, I gripped my head in frustration, torn between my desires and being the kind of man she deserved. “You don’t make anything simple, do you?”
She shook her head, a small smile playing on her lips. “Never.”
Dropping my hand to my side, I took a couple of steps toward her, my resolve crumbling as she dipped back into the water and resurfaced. “Fine, you want the truth? You’re right. I’ve been hurt. But that doesn’t change the fact that you deserve better than this. Better than me.”
“Maybe,” she said softly. “I’m not asking for perfection, Conan. I’m asking for you.”
I stared at her—conflicted. This woman had a way of cutting through my defenses, seeing the parts of me I tried to hide. And damn, did I want her.
“I’m warning you. I’m not a hero. I’m not even close.”
“Ever thought I might just want you, flaws and all?”
Her arguments were like a drug, intoxicating and impossible to resist. This was just the beginning, and I knew it was going to be one hell of a ride.
Chapter twenty-six
With a coy look and a half grin, Angel let her hands drift to her shoulders, the water lapping along her collarbone. She slid her fingers under the straps of her bikini top, letting them fall into the water—a slow striptease. She reached one hand behind her back and, with a flick, unclasped her top. Her eyes stayed locked on mine, her smile broadening as she flung the top onto the pool deck, making my mouth water.
Frozen in place, I watched as she dipped down into the water, wiggling her hips. The sight of her bare breasts made my dick stand at attention. Then she tossed the bottoms of her swimsuit out as well. Her boldness made my blood race.