Page 119 of Shadow Blind

He drew a deep breath and grimaced. “My ability doesn’t save lives. Hell, it doesn’t benefit anyone but me.”

There was something lurking beneath the disgust on his face, something hollow, but honest. Pained sincerity radiated from him.

“I don’t understand.” Her voice was quiet now. The fire receded until she could think again. He seemed to mean what he was saying. His frustration rang clearly in his voice, was alive on his face.

“Kait’s gift allows her to heal. She takes away people’s pain, heals their injuries…she can save lives. Her gift’s a fucking miracle.”

Demi nodded her agreement.

Aiden started pacing back and forth, from wall to wall, in front of the door. “And Wolf’s gift… Fuck, it saves lives too. He’s saved mine twice now with those forward flashes he gets. He’s saved Kait too. Hell, his premonition even saved O’Neill on that last mission.”

Demi nodded again and waited for him to continue.

He took another trip to the wall and back. When he spoke again, his voice had dropped to a gritty snarl.

“My gift, in comparison, is a fucking farce.” There was more than disgust on his face now. There was loss and emptiness, like what he’d been given was worthless. A slap in the face, even.

But a farce? Surely not. They were talking about extraordinary abilities. How could anything that was outside the normal human range be a farce?

“That can’t be true, Aiden.” She gentled her voice.

“Yeah?” He stopped abruptly and spun to face her. His hands curled into fists and slammed down on his hips. He looked frustrated and…ashamed?

“You want to know what my great gift is? Well, here it is. I have the Midas touch. My gift results in money. Lots and lots of money. It doesn’t save lives or prevent tragedies. It just makes me richer and richer.”

She let that sink in. His gift made him rich? How was that deserving of such anger and shame? Most people would love to have such an awesome ability. She kept the observation to herself, though, because Aiden obviously was disgusted with his ability.

She swallowed her confusion and tried to see his perspective. He made money off his extraordinary ability rather than saving people’s lives? How was that a bad thing? One could do great things with a constant influx of cash. Maybe it didn’t directly save lives like Kait’s and Wolf’s gifts—but helping people financially could indirectly enhance their situations, sometimes even save their lives.

Did he not see that?

Maybe there was more to his gift than what he was telling her. She needed more information.

“When you say you have the Midas touch, what does that mean?” She chose her words carefully.

His shoulders curling forward, he scrubbed both hands down his face. When he dropped them again, he looked defeated. “If I look at an article or a television report of an upcoming horse race, I’ll know what horses are going to win. I know what baseball or football teams are going to win. When I walk through a casino, I’ll know what machines are about to drop a big payout. I know what stocks are about to surge. Fuck—” he drew a deep breath. “I even know the weekly lottery numbers. I could win every single fucking time if I wanted to.”

Woah.

Although Demi never said the word, she must have mouthed it, because he flinched and looked away. Which was so weird. Why was he so ashamed of this ability?

“I don’t understand why you find this such a problem, Aiden.” She couldn’t hold the comment back. He wasn’t putting on an act. He was too vulnerable and raw.

“Because it’s a fucking ridiculous ability. It helps no one other than me,” he snapped, his eyebrows furrowing and pulling down.

“But you could use it to help others.” She stepped forward to touch his arm. “There is so much good you could do with the kind of money you’re talking about.” She waited until his gaze focused on her face before continuing. “There are thousands of people out there waiting on experimental treatments or surgeries they can’t afford. People with no insurance and no money who can’t even get on the transplant list unless they come up with the procedure costs.” She was surprised he hadn’t already thought of this. “Or what about all the people who’ve hit hard times and need help with rent or house payments, even food…lunches for kids?” She stroked his arm. “You could help a lot of people by giving that money to various charities.”

He pulled his arm back and nailed her with an are-you-fucking-kidding-me glare. “What the fuck do you think I’m doing with the money now?”

“Then why do you find your ability so distasteful? You’re helping people.” Her confusion increased.

“Because it’s not the same. I’m not saving people’s lives. Not like Kait and Wolf,” he snapped.

“But you are saving people. Every time you give someone money, you’re helping them. You’re probably helping a lot more people than Kait or Wolf have.”

“It’s not the same thing,” he insisted tightly, a blindly stubborn look in his eyes.

She studied him. There was an odd expression on his face. Stubborn, yet lost. It was like he didn’t know why he was so dissatisfied with his gift. Or at least he hadn’t been able to come up with a valid reason. She didn’t want to argue with him. He was entitled to his feelings, even though they made no sense to her. But her intuition screamed that his frustration with his ability was crucial to understanding him.