Page 76 of Peace Under Fire

JoAnn didn’t trust her anymore.

CHAPTER 18

Mandy’s confession to her sister was still pounding through Squish’s head—worse than any migraine—as they loaded Grumpy into the first Rover.

No. He wasn’t worth it. If I could go back and do things over, I wouldn’t leave to find him.

Wasn’t worth it…wouldn’t leave to find him…wasn’t worth it…

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

He tried to breathe through the concrete block crushing his throat. Acid churned in his gut. His eyes burned. So did his chest. Even the air and light felt thin and dull and…empty.

His reaction to her rejection was almost like one of his migraines—the nausea, the foggy thoughts, the pounding in his head. He could almost convince himself he was experiencing another migraine, if not for her damn words echoing in his mind. Thundering. Pounding. Bludgeoning.

Wasn’t worth it… Wasn’t worth it… Wasn’t worth it…

Her rejection gutted him and he didn’t know why. Or rather, truthfully, he didn’t want to know why. Knowing would mean having to do something about it, which would change his life forever.

He’d managed to convince himself that any involvement between them would trash her life, blacken her sunshiny nature. But there had been more to it than that.

He liked his life the way it was. Uncomplicated. Unentangled. Able to take off at a moment’s notice without worrying about hurting someone’s feelings. He didn’t want a significant other, or a girlfriend—or whatever the term was at his age. He sure as hell wasn’t looking for a wife.

And Mandy was wife material.

He needed to stomp out these feelings ASAP and focus on what mattered. Lucky. Their traitor. This mission.

With that in mind, he forced his thoughts back onto business. If Crusher was driving the first rig and Mandy and JoAnn were sharing the passenger seat, that left no room in the Rover for him. He and Mandy would be leaving in separate SUVs. No doubt Mandy would be fine with that. She’d probably prefer that he rode in the second SUV.

Another sour roll rumbled through his gut.

As Crusher headed toward the point SUV, keys in hand, Squish moved to intercept him.

“I’ll drive.” Squish held out his hand and locked eyes with their team leader.

He wasn’t parking his ass in the other SUV where he couldn’t help if something happened to Mandy, JoAnn, or Grumpy.

After an assessing look, Crusher handed the keys over. No debate. No show of dominance. Just flex and adjust. That’s what made Crusher such a good leader. He didn’t let anything get in his head. He simply altered his plan and stayed on course.

“Leave your phone on,” Crusher tossed over his shoulder as he headed for the second SUV. “We’ll have to rely on phones from here on out.”

True; the head clearance in the Land Rovers didn’t allow for helmets. Communicating through their phones would have to replace their MBITR units. Since he’d ditched his cell back in Virginia Beach, he jogged over to Brick and confiscated his phone, then called Crusher and left the line open. By the time he got back to the first SUV, everyone had loaded up. He yanked his helmet off, letting it dangle by the chin strap.

He paused before climbing into the Rover, letting his eyes adjust to the moonlight. No signs of trouble out there. At least nothing that he could see or hear. Just an ocean of snow and regiments of shadowy, white crusted trees. It was closing on midnight and the moon played peekaboo behind rows of fluffy white clouds. The snow’s reflection made it surprisingly easy to see, even this late at night. And there was another snowstorm on the way. He could taste its icy, wet bite on his tongue and smell it in the air.

He climbed into the driver’s seat, wedging his helmet onto the console between the two bucket seats. He turned to Mandy as he started the Land Rover. She still had her helmet on. The damn thing sat low enough to fit beneath the ceiling—barely.

“Take your helmet off.” He grimaced when the request came out clipped—more order than request. Christ, he could at least try to sound a little less harsh. “You won’t need it in here.” He eased up on his tone, tried to sound more friendly, which just made him sound like someone with severely strained patience.

Fuck, he was bad at this conversational bullshit.

He waited for her to remove her helmet and drop it on the floor before handing her Brick’s cell. “Hang on to this. We’ll be communicating with the other rig through our phones.”

Mandy took the phone and set it on her thighs, which were pressed together in a neat line. All he could see of JoAnn were her legs and the pink flame of her hair.

Satisfied that JoAnn hadn’t tried to ditch them, he glanced over his shoulder at the silent men stretched out in the cargo hold. “How’s Grumpy?”

“Still got a pulse. Still breathing,” Fabio said. “Hasn’t woken up though.” He paused. “We still headed to the ER?”

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