“Because of you? Yes! I didn’t trust him with you, and had I known then what I know now, he would never have gotten the chance to approach you. I didn’t have relationships because it wasn’t fair to them. But I was more than happy to live the bachelor lifestyle for the rest of my life as long as you were happy.”
He just left after saying all that, and I stood there unmoving until Sarah started babbling away at me and I had to turn it off and pay attention to my kids.
After their baths and bedtime stories, it was my turn to shower and take care of myself. It was only as I was climbing into bed feeling more tired than a body ought to be that I remembered I had turned my phone off.
There were tons of messages waiting for me as soon as I turned it on, all from Doug. Since my kids were both here and fine, I didn’t see the need to read or answer any of them until the next day. I fell asleep before my head hit the pillow and woke up the next morning feeling like a new person.
Before I could think better of it, I sent a text off to Jacob, letting him know that I wanted a standing appointment at that place at the same time once a week. His quick reply gave me butterflies. It was almost like he’d been waiting by the phone, and I felt seventeen again.
BASTARD
I left the office before Wendy and drove back out to Rachel’s place. She wasn’t back yet, but then I realized that her car was in the garage this whole time, which meant she’d driven somewhere with Jacob. When I drove back around, mom’s car was gone, and Jacob’s SUV was there instead.
My gut burned like fire, and I was tempted to go ring the doorbell. What the hell was he doing in there? I drove away quickly when I saw the door opening and had reached the end of the street by the time he got into his car and started driving in my direction.
I was quick enough to get out of there before he saw me and went around again to follow him to his place. Once I got there, I realized I didn’t know what to say to him. How do I broach that conversation with him?
We used to be able to talk about anything, and now I was afraid to face him because I was afraid of the answers he might give. In the end I changed my mind and headed towards home.
I stopped at the hardware store and picked up a new showerhead because it’s something I’d heard Wendy complain about, and I needed an excuse for why I’d left early and was now getting home.
It was a good thing I did because she was waiting for me when I got there, and she was breathing fire. “Where the hell have you been? Did you go to that bitch’s house?”
“No, look, the showerhead you said you wanted.”
I held up the bag and placed it on the table before walking past her. Her face changed immediately, and she went from scowling to smiling almost immediately. I kept going until I was in the walk-in closet in our home, took off my suit, and headed for the en suite bathroom to take a shower.
She came into the bathroom and started talking to me outside the shower door. “Thank you so much. I didn’t even remember complaining about this.”
“Is that the one you wanted?”
“Yes, it’s perfect.” She sounded very pleased, so I guess I’d dodged a bullet.
I did spend my time in the shower when she was gone, running my head under cold water to clear it and questioning myself about what exactly was going on between my wife and my best friend.
HOMEWRECKING SKANK
I have got to stop stressing and worrying about every little thing. This man had already proven that he had chosen me, and yet I kept having these bouts of paranoia where I expected things to go south any minute. He’d been acting so off lately, ever since the party in fact, that I was beginning to suspect he was getting cold feet.
Obviously, he’d got out this afternoon on his lunch break to find the showerhead and hadn’t found one nearby the office and had gone further this evening after work to get me exactly what I wanted.
I don’t know why I’m so worried. He’s always come through. I’ve just been worrying for nothing. I just wish I could get pregnant soon so we could have an ‘ours’ baby, and his kids with her would no longer hold such prominence in our lives.
I don’t care if that’s harsh or selfish. Having his kids around means having her in our lives, and I’m sick of it. I’d already stopped taking my birth control months ago, but so far, nothing doing. I’ll just have to try harder then I guess.
RACHEL
We set up a routine of sorts, where every day, Jacob would arrive at the house around nine or sometimes earlier if he knew I’d had a hard time with the kids the morning before. Since he worked from home, he’d bring his laptop and set up in the living room where he could help me keep an eye on the kids who didn’t always want to stay in their playroom
Most days, he was done by twelve. I have no idea what he does, and I’m not brave enough to ask. He’d help me with lunch, and then the four of us would be off somewhere, either the park or Gymboree. All of our outings were geared towards the kids except for my once-a-week trip to the rage room.
We usually have coffee together on his early mornings which we both love and grew to look forward to more and more. And though nothing much had changed between us sexually, the tension has been building to the point that my nipples get hard at the sound of his voice.
When I see him interact with my kids, who absolutely adore him, like when he puts Sarah in her carrier and straps her onto his chest while he’s on the treadmill and the fact that he’d had the presence of mind to order a play treadmill for Kevin to get on while we workout together, all makes me wish I had chosen better for my kids.
Seeing what a man could do for you and your kids compared to what you had once settled for is a little bit eye-opening and a whole lot disconcerting. I didn’t say anything, though; I just kept watching because people always put their best foot forward.
And then came the day for Sarah’s first overnight stay with her father and his girlfriend. I thought I was ready, but as the hours ran down, my body went into some state of shock, and I was running hot and cold all over until Jacob had to hold me on his lap until the shakes were over.