When I first met him, she was just coming off of having their son, and then she got pregnant not long after, so I’m accustomed to seeing that either post-baby or pre-baby, but she didn’t look like that now.
I scoured all the pictures to see if she and Doug stood close to each other in any of them, but they never did. My eyes kept coming back to her smile. What the fuck did she have to be so happy about?
In all the pictures, only Doug looks unhappy. He was probably mad because I wasn’t invited. I kept scrolling backward and realized she had removed the pictures of their weddings and everything else that did not include their kids. Good! It bothers me immensely to see them at a happier time.
Still, she needs to remove those pictures of him and their son because she’s giving people the wrong impression. She doesn’t allow us to post pictures on social media with Kevin. She claims it wasn’t her that got the ones we put up removed, and Doug’s sister even took the blame for her, but I know it was her, the vindictive bitch.
On the other hand, I know she doesn’t follow either of us, not even from a dummy account, because I have my ways of knowing who visits my page, but she could’ve easily heard it from someone else and acted.
I told Doug to ask her about it, and she claimed that, as the father, he was within his rights to do it, so why did she have them removed? It’s because she felt threatened by me, of course, and that’s exactly what I told Doug at the time.
Why does she get to post pictures with Doug in them on her page when we can’t do the same? Why is everyone being so unfair? Jacob didn’t even acknowledge my presence. We were cool when he thought I was just someone Doug worked with, but as soon as he learned about the affair, he’d turned cold and distant.
Even the few friends who had hung around for a little while after had distanced themselves, most of whom were at the party. Everyone acts like she’s a saint, but I know she’s behind it all. She’s out to ruin my life to the point that even some of our coworkers have changed toward us. And it’s all her doing.
She has to play the victim; oh, woe is me. Everyone is always saying how brave she is and how graceful she handled everything. I guess some of them found out about the messages and NSFW pictures I’d sent her during the divorce and were holding that against me.
To this day, I’m not even sure why I did it, I guess I wanted to get a rise out of the cold bitch, but even then, she didn’t even react, and I don’t think she ever told Doug because he never brought it up to me.
I went back to the pictures of the party. Little Sarah was getting so big. Soon, she’d be able to be here for overnight stays, and Doug could stop missing his kids. I think I should bring up fifty-fifty custody again. Since that bitch has so much support, she could handle a little drama.
I don’t like the fact that she’s smiling so soon after everything came to an end, while Doug still has times of doubt and hurt. I hate when he does that. Like he doesn’t realize he won the prize.
RACHEL
“Okay, sick it up. That’s right.” I couldn’t lift my head from the toilet bowl as Jacob rubbed my back supportively. When is this shit going to end? Why do I still feel this riot of emotions each time I see my ex? I thought by now that I’d be over it already, but it just keeps happening.
Jacob helped me up from the floor and helped me to the sink where I cleaned myself up and headed back to the living room. The kids were already in bed, thanks to Jacob, which was good because I did not have the emotional bandwidth right now.
“I thought this would be over. I thought after the divorce that I would be over it, but it still hurts.”
“Actually, you’re doing better. There were no tears this time, and I didn’t have to scrape you off the floor.” He smiled cheekily.
“That’s true, but I still feel like hell. I just want this to be over. I don’t understand why I still feel anything but hate for him after what he did to my kids and me. Am I just damaged or what?”
“No. I’m sure your therapist has told you that this is normal.”
“She has. Thank you for making me go, by the way. It’s been more helpful than I imagined it would be. She’s been helping me to work through things. I didn’t even know I had PPD until she mentioned it. It was not a bad case, just the normal wear and tear from carrying another human and then pushing that human out of my body. The sleepless nights and the merry-go-round of taking care of a baby while running after a toddler all day.”
“You’re doing fine. If you need any help, you know we’re always here for you.”
“Yeah, I know, thanks, but I’d feel cruddy asking for more than everyone is already doing. I’m actually thinking of looking for a work-from-home position, something to give me financial freedom, but I’m not sure how that’s going to work since I don’t want to put the baby in daycare.”
“Kevin will be starting Pre-K this fall, so that’s good, but little Sarah still needs me.”
“Why don’t you look for something part-time then? Maybe something you can do at night when the kids are in bed?”
“Yeah, I’ll think about it some more, but I think I need to do something with my time to get out of this rut.”
“I thought the gym was working?”
“It is, but I feel bad every time I go there because my ex-mother-in-law has to watch the kids while I go.”
“That’s easily fixed. Why don’t you turn part of the basement into a home gym?” The only thing down there used to be Doug’s man cave. I haven’t stepped foot down there since he left. I looked at Jacob now, ready to deny the suggestion, but then it hit me.
Doug was not coming back, so what was the purpose of the room? “You might have a point. I don’t need much. Just a treadmill and some weights, I guess.” The idea was actually growing on me, and my excitement only grew more when I picked up my laptop and started looking at home gyms.
I wanted to start small and work my way up, but Jacob had other ideas. Before I knew it, he had me ordering a Bow flex, a treadmill, and a pull-up tower.” I balked when I saw the price, and he just nonchalantly said he’d pay half.