Page 6 of The Other Woman

RACHEL

I felt nervous after putting out feelers about getting back into the workforce. But it was time. It was only a few months until Kevin started going to school for a few hours each day, and even with the baby, it would free me up some; besides, it was still best to get a head start because who knows how long it’s going to take to actually find something.

One thing I will say, is it helps to be kind to the friends and family of your significant other as long as it’s warranted. I never stood in the way of any of his friendships and was always welcoming; my home was always open, night or day, to any one of them that were in need.

Because my family was halfway across the country, his became mine, and I nurtured those relationships the best I could before and after we got married. Now, those people have been my main source of support, except for my family, who called often and came out to see me twice since the breakup.

Those same people were now on the hunt for a job for me, and I didn’t feel as if I was doing it alone. I have more offers for free babysitting than I know what to do with, but I have yet to take anyone up on them, except for Sunday when I ran away to avoid facing Doug and his side piece.

I don’t know why it was suddenly too much. Maybe it was the injustice of celebrating my baby’s first birthday, knowing that her little world had already been crushed by the selfishness of two grown adults, one of whom was her father, and neither of which cared.

I looked at the videos and pictures of her smiling, happy face, and it broke my heart that I had brought her into a broken world. My poor son was already feeling the strains and showing the signs of what it meant to live in two separate homes.

They’re the reason I choose to remain calm. Not pride, not strength, just knowing that I’m all they have because their father had proven himself to be untrustworthy and weak. My parents are getting up there in age, and so are his, and our siblings have their own lives to lead. So, if nothing else, I need to be strong for my kids.

But sometimes it’s so hard. Sometimes I just want to crawl into bed and stay there for about a month. I want to just turn everything off and sleep away this pain and uncertainty. I want my peace of mind back.

There are moments throughout the day when I actually forget, and then I remember, and the pain is as fresh as the first time. My therapist has been treating me for PTSD, among other things; another thing I didn’t know was a thing.

I have trauma, she says, which I can attest to, but there’s no happy pill I can take to make it all better. I have to endure one day at a time, just like everyone else. I’m trying my hardest not to give in to the darkness that keeps calling out to me.

Some days, I feel as if I would scream without stopping. I want so badly to go into a room and lock the door just so I can scream into the void. But I can’t because I have two little people depending on me, and I refuse to be as selfish as their father.

My doorbell rang, breaking me out of my reverie, and I rushed to answer because I’d finally gotten both kids down for a nap. I was surprised to see my ex-mother-in-law standing there with Jacob.

“Helen, I didn’t know you were coming by today. Did I get something mixed up?”

“No, dear!” She looked over her shoulder at Jacob, patted my shoulder, and walked into the house. I felt my face blush when he looked me up and down.

“What’s the matter?”

“Good, you’re wearing jeans; you won’t need to change.”

“Change into what? What’s going on?” Before I could say anything more, Helen met me at the door with my purse and ushered me out the door.

“Go on with Jacob; I’ll stay here with the kids.” She pushed me out and closed the door, leaving me standing there with my mouth agape as I stared at Jacob for answers. He took my hand and led me to his luxury SUV, helped me climb up into the passenger seat, and belted me in before walking around to his side.

I looked back at the house until it was out of sight, then turned to him to ask again where I was going. “Relax, it’s a surprise and one I know you’ll enjoy.” For some reason, I felt very self-conscious about being alone in the car with him.

We’ve never been alone before, and I’ve never been in his car. One or both of the kids were always around, or some of our mutual friends. I felt so uncomfortable and was blushing too hard I had to lower my head so that my hair would hide my face and start fiddling with my phone.

He didn’t try to start a conversation; he just turned the radio to a decent station and drove. We arrived somewhere half an hour later and all I could think was that the kids would be waking in another hour and a half or so.

I looked out of the car window at the unfamiliar building, “What is this place?” He didn’t answer, when he left the car and walked around to help me down. “Rage Room!”

HOMEWRECKING SKANK

Isat in the breakroom at lunch, waiting for him to come join me, but he was nowhere in sight. I checked my watch again and it was already ten minutes since lunch started. I know he still feels a way about us being public here, but it’s been a while, and everybody knows already.

I’m no longer the dirty little secret, and there’s no need to hide it anymore, but still, he gets all bent out of shape each time one of these nosy bitches looks at him side-eye. I don’t really care about their judgment. Some of them act more butt hurt than Rachel, who I’m sure played victim, and that’s why they’re all like that.

I even tried talking to the ones who had been friendly before the affair came to light, but they’ve been giving me the cold shoulder ever since. It’s very isolating, for sure, but it doesn’t really matter because I got what I wanted. Doug!

I don’t know why people are acting as if we’re so wrong for finding each other. Why do people prefer others to be unhappy? Should he have stayed in a loveless marriage just to satisfy society’s fucked up norms?

I’m the one he chose. Long before she learned about us, each time he came to me for sex or just to feel human again, he was choosing me. Now, everyone is acting like we committed a crime. Nothing about us as people has changed, we’re still the same driven individuals we’ve always been who get our jobs done and pay our bills and taxes just like everyone else.

Why should we be ostracized and looked down upon just because we fell in love? I tried calling his phone, but it went straight to voicemail, so I figured he’d been called into a last-minute meeting or something. So I went ahead and ate my lunch alone while everyone else in the room tried to pretend that I wasn’t there.

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