Page 31 of Oops, I Fell For The Town Bad Boy!

“Oh, various responses,” Taylor said, tossing her purse on the kitchen counter. “They’re not exactly bending over backward to welcome you back to town, but honestly, I think it’s better than what I would have expected if I had known I would be telling people the truth today. A lot of people were at least willing to extend you the grace of believing that you’d probably changed for the better since high school.”

“I guess that’s something,” Kane said with a sigh. The truth was that it hardly mattered to him what a bunch of people he had been to high school with thought. His crime had never been against any of them. “What I’d really like to do is apologize to the Chesterfields,” he admitted. “But I don’t think I could face them after everything that happened.”

“Yeah, that might be tricky,” Taylor said. “Not to say that they’re not kind people. Jeff and Donna Chesterfield are some of the nicest people I know. But it has been hard for them, dealing with the loss of so much of their farm.”

“What happened?” Kane asked, bracing himself. This was the question he had been asking internally since the day of the fire. He’d wanted for a long time to know what had happened after he had left town — what had become of the Chesterfields. But he had never had the courage to try to find out. It was hard to face the truth, to know that there had been very real consequences to the mistake he had made all those years ago.

Taylor looked at him. “Do you want to talk about this?”

“I think I do.”

“Well, they took a second mortgage out on the land, but in recent years they haven’t been able to keep up with the payments,” she said. “There’s been talk for a while about how they might lose the farm. Nobody wants it to happen, of course. Everyone in Miller Creek shops local now — we all buy Chesterfield produce when we can. But even so, it’s tough for them to keep up with the demand, because they had to take so many years to heal up the field that was destroyed in the fire. And that’s not to mention the barn. Jeff’s done as well as he could do, but he’s not as young as he used to be. It’s starting to seem like they might need to sell their land and move to a little apartment in town — which wouldn’t be the end of the world, of course, but they’ve been on that farm all their lives and put their blood, sweat, and tears into it. I think it would crush them to have to leave now.”

Kane felt gutted. “All this because of the fire?”

“Not all,” she assured him. “You can’t take responsibility for all of it. There have been some hard seasons. There have been some dry spells when none of the local farmers could grow anything worth a damn. That played a part. And, of course, Jeff’s age is a factor. If he was a younger man, I think he would have gotten through all this much more easily. So don’t blame yourself too much.”

“Still, he wouldn’t be in this situation if not for me, would he?” Kane asked.

Taylor sighed. “The truth is, we can’t know,” she told him. “It’s probably not a good idea to try to speculate, because we’ll only make ourselves feel worse.”

Kane didn’t think he could feel any worse — but even so, he was touched by the way she had said we, as if the two of them were in this together. They weren’t, and he knew he needed to remember that. This was his problem, not hers, no matter how kind she was being to him about it. But even so, it was wonderful to feel as if there was someone on his side — someone who wanted him to find a way through all this. Someone who might stand beside him if he chose to face the Chesterfields and, if he was very lucky, help him convince them that he wasn’t the worst person who had ever lived.

Although, really, why should they listen to him? Why would anyone who had lived through the things they had want to hear from Kane at this point in their lives? He was sure they would prefer he never showed his face again. He owed them more of an apology than he did anyone else — there was no arguing that fact — but that apology would be the hardest one to make, and it was probably for the best that he just leave them in peace.

Taylor was watching him closely. “If you wanted to talk to Jeff, I’d go with you,” she said. “If you wanted to let him know that you were sorry about what happened.”

“I think he’d probably rather not hear it from me,” Kane said. “What good does me being sorry do him? He can’t pay his mortgage with apologies. So what if I’m sorry? I’m sure he already knows I’m sorry. That wouldn’t do him any good.”

“He still might like to hear it,” Taylor said.

“I doubt it.”

“Well, I think it would do you good to say it.” She walked up to him and put her arms around him gently. “Kane, you’ve lived with this for a long time. If you could set it down…”

“No,” he said. “I don’t deserve that, Taylor. You know I don’t. Not if it means I have to bother Jeff Chesterfield with it again. He should be able to live the rest of his life without me darkening his door again, even if it would help me to be able to talk about what happened. That’s not a problem he should have to solve.”

“You’re right,” Taylor admitted. “But even so… I don’t know, Kane. You’re not the same person you were all those years ago. I think you should be able to get some closure. I think if I were the Chesterfields, I would be willing to offer you that. I would understand that you were only a kid back then.”

“That’s different,” Kane said. “You’ve already decided that you like me. Jeff Chesterfield doesn’t like me, and he shouldn’t. I’m not going to try to win him over. Not after everything.”

Taylor turned away for a moment. Kane felt himself tense up — was she angry with him? Was she offended that he hadn’t taken her suggestion?

But then she turned back, and her eyes were bright with optimism. “What if it wasn’t only for you?” she asked.

Kane frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, what if you could actually make amends to the Chesterfields? Not just apologize, but actually do something to make it right?”

“I don’t get it. What could I do to make it right?” he asked. “Don’t get me wrong, I’d like to help — I’d like to do something for them. But I don’t see how I can. I mean, I’m just a mechanic. I don’t have any money, and it sounds like money is what they need to help them solve this. If I could make some kind of financial contribution, I would. But the only thing I have that’s worth anything is this house, and I’m about to sell that to you.”

“No, I know,” Taylor said. “I’m not suggesting you try to bail the farm out yourself. But what if you organized some kind of fundraiser? Something that could help make up for the money they’ve lost over the years?”

Kane was skeptical. “I still think they’d probably rather I just left them alone.”

“Kane,” Taylor said gently, “I think you’re telling yourself that because it’s the easier answer.”

“Meaning what?”

---