Page 62 of Redemption

But then I wondered if she was referring to last night. Treading carefully, I said, “Sometimes, sure. I would imagine most people have memories they’d like to relive.”

“Mm.” She gave a thoughtful hum. “If you could relive or redo any moment from your life, what would you pick?”

Relive?

Every moment with her. Good and bad, happy or sad, I would gladly take them all. But I didn’t say that—couldn’t. It wouldn’t be appropriate for oh-so-many reasons.

“That’s a big question,” I finally said.

She laughed, lying back to look at the stars. Even surrounded by endless beauty, I couldn’t look anywhere but at her.

“Why?” I asked. “What about you? Anything you’d redo? Any regrets?”

“Doesn’t everyone?” She was clearly evading my question. Fair. I’d done the same thing only moments before.

I was afraid that all her regrets centered around her memories with me. That if she had the chance to go back, she’d not only change last night but everything between us that had come before it.

I’d caused her pain, and more than anything, I didn’t want her to hurt anymore. If that meant erasing our past, I would’ve done it. All so she would’ve never experienced hurt.

But I was here to do a job, and getting involved with Sloan would put more than my future at risk. If my focus was compromised, her safety was too. I needed to put the past to rest once and for all.

“I’m sorry,” I said, unwilling to let the words go unsaid any longer.

She kept her eyes on the sky, but she stiffened. “For what?”

“For contributing to your list of regrets.” I placed my hand over hers, needing to comfort her even though it was far too late for that. “For disappointing you. For causing you pain.”

She sighed, turning her hand so our fingers were interlocked. “I’m sorry too.”

We were quiet a moment, drifting along. She yawned, and it was then I realized how tired she was.

“It’s late.” I stood, even though I didn’t want the moment to end. “We should get some sleep. Tomorrow’s going to be a long day.”

We were hoping to set out early, and the Caicos Passage might be rough. We hadn’t had any more issues with the fuel system or the motor, but the passage was a big undertaking.

I offered her my hand. She accepted it, and I pulled her up, slowly releasing her despite my reluctance to do so. The wind tossed her hair about, and I brushed some of the strands away from her face without thinking.

I dropped my hands and looked away. Shit. “Sorry. I…” I inhaled deeply and turned to go below deck. My willpower was clearly nonexistent when it came to Sloan.

“Jackson, wait.” She grabbed my arm.

I stilled, my existence reduced to that one point of contact. Her hand on my skin. My name on her lips.

I couldn’t keep doing this. It was going to break me—being so close to Sloan again after all this time. I didn’t want to add to her list of regrets when it came to me.

I wanted to believe I was the best person to protect her, but I was so twisted up about Sloan, I was afraid of making a mistake. I was distracted. And distractions could be deadly in this line of work.

I rubbed my free hand over my face even as my heart felt like it was being ripped to shreds. She’d only just come back into my life, and I was going to have to give her up again.

My chest tightened at the idea of leaving her. Losing her for good. To hell with the promotion, the cost was too high—both to her safety and to my heart.

“I—” I swallowed hard and turned to face her. “Sloan…” Her eyes sparkled in the darkness like a beacon guiding me home. She was my home. My heart. My everything.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Jackson sighed, peering down at the deck. He squeezed the back of his neck. “When we get to Turks and Caicos, I’m going to ask Hudson to send a replacement.”

I couldn’t breathe. It was as if he’d punched the air from my lungs.

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