Page 70 of Tangled Roses

Charles and Adele made my skin crawl. I’ve never felt comfortable with powerful people. Not that I’ve met many, but the arrogance of wealth trails before them and I met many people like them when I worked in the hotel.

However, even they weren’t as elite as the people in this room and I am so out of my depth, unlike Arman who is self assured and confident and I’m amazed how he can still operate knowing we may have done the unthinkable.

We don’t hang around for long and as soon as we’re in the car; I sense our relationship has changed.

He is distant, he almost can’t look at me and I am more miserable now than I was before I met him. I almost wish I’d never met him because then I wouldn’t realize what I lost. I must prepare myself for bad news tomorrow and hope for the best because if Arman is related to me, I am moving as far away from him as I possibly can.

We part company in the penthouse, and I retire to the guest room where most of my belongings still reside. I stare at the familiar boxes and items of personal value and it strikes me how little I have. I didn’t take much when I left my grandmother’s home because most of it was past its best and wouldn’t fit in my small apartment. The only things I kept were old photographs and some items of jewelry and the diaries of course.

I change out of my designer dress and pull on my trusted sweatpants, and a faded jumper that has too many holes in it. It reminds me of how little I have and my place in life because right now I have nothing.

I won’t be able to sleep, so I head to the library to carry on with my reading. It’s already past midnight but I’m still wide awake and couldn’t sleep if I tried.

As I pass Arman’s den, I note the light shining from under the door and my heart lurches inside me.

He feels it too.

More than anything, I wish I could head inside and curl up on his lap while he strokes my hair and tells me that everything will be okay. I understand he can’t make promises he can’t keep and with a heavy ache in my heart, I head off to spend time with my grandmother.

It takes two hours before I hit on an entry that makes me sit up and take notice and as the words burn before my eyes, my heart sinks to a new low.

I had an unexpected visitor today. Gabrielle was at school, and I thought it was the delivery I was expecting. It was not.

A woman stood there who introduced herself as Marsha’s friend, and I hated her on sight.

I remembered my manners though and invited her in and the way she screwed up her nose as she stepped inside made my blood boil.

I was polite, even though I wanted to tell her to go to hell and made the coffee, already knowing she wouldn’t touch a drop. It’s obvious she was looking down on me and as I saw my home through her eyes, I was ashamed.

Her smart clothes and perfect appearance made my own shabby apron and greasy hair more apparent and not many people set me on edge, but that woman did.

As expected, she politely accepted my offer of coffee and then left it untouched on the stained wooden table she sat beside.

She perched on the edge of the worn couch and clasped her hands in her lap and offered me something I still can’t believe.

She wanted Gabrielle.

She told me Marsha had made it clear that she didn’t want me and she heard I was struggling. She said she couldn’t have children of her own and would be able to offer Gabrielle more than I ever could. She would send her to the best schools and make her into a lady. She would want for nothing and live in mansions and travel to foreign countries.

I was taken by surprise and found it impossible to answer her and she told me to think on it and that if I agreed, she would assure I was financially better off. She wanted to buy Gabrielle and the way she spoke, Marsha knew about it and approved.

She is coming back tomorrow for my decision.

The words blur against my tears as I picture my grandmother’s dilemma. Keep me, or give me to a stranger who was promising me a better life. Rags or riches, love or indifference. My heart is bleeding because my grandmother chose love. The reason it never happened tells me that. She couldn’t bear to part with me, even if it meant we were poorer for it.

She made the right decision.

No amount of money in the world can ever measure up to love because if you have that, nothing else matters. It makes you the richest person in the world, because nothing is more valuable than that.

The next entry confirms my suspicions.

My visitor returned, and I made the most difficult decision of my life. I was selfish. I couldn’t bear to watch Gabrielle walk away, knowing I would never see her again. I have lost one daughter and I’ll be damned if I lose another one.

I denied Gabrielle the chance for success and an assured future, and I will make it up to her with love. She is blood, my blood and I’ve fought for her once and I’ll continue doing it to the day I die.

I can’t stop the tears that are running freely now. I wish she was still with me. I miss her and life is so empty now she has gone.

I wipe my eyes and finish what I started, curious about the reaction of the woman who tried to buy me.

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