Page 88 of Any Kind of Life

“You’re not going alone. I’ll be fine once I’m inside.” Maybe she would be, and maybe she wouldn’t. But Paige wouldn’t know the outcome unless she unlocked that door and faced all of this head-on with Juliet. It was important they did it together. “Thirty minutes, okay? That’s all I need.”

Juliet sighed but nodded. “Okay.”

With a shaking hand, Juliet slid the key into the main lock and turned it. The street was quiet—it often was during the day—and all she could hear was Paige’s heavy breathing. Maybe she shouldn’t have put this on Paige today. Maybe they should have had a serious discussion about it, something that would lead up to them walking inside The Hideout. Perhaps a timescale. But no, Juliet had chosen to dive right in, and now she wasn’t sure she should take another step.

“You okay, babe?” Paige lay a hand on Juliet’s shoulder. “It’s okay to change your mind. We can do this another day.”

“No, I want to do it now.” Juliet turned to Paige, aware of the fearful look in her eyes. “But I don’t want you to feel as though you had no choice in this. I’m sorry I just dropped it on you.”

God, she hadn’t even given Paige the chance to wake up fully before she told her about the plan today. While Juliet wanted to get the ball rolling and move on with her life, she should have stopped for a moment and considered Paige in this.

“I’m okay. I’m feeling less worried now that we’re here.” Paige squeezed Juliet’s shoulder and gave a single nod. “Come on. Let’s get this over and done with.”

Juliet cleared her mind and turned back to the door, pushing it open slowly. The smell of fresh paint greeted her, not surprising given the fact she had just finished painting when Cara turned on her. And then she felt that supportive hand on the small of her back. “Right. Let’s do this. It’s now or never.”

Juliet took the stairs down to the bar slowly, aware that her knees felt weaker than usual. But she had expected some kind of reaction as she had opened the door. This had been the very place Juliet had almost lost her life. She placed the light switch on the wall just outside the main area of the bar and flicked the switch. Within seconds, the bar was lit up…ready and waiting for some life back inside of it.

“Well,” Juliet said as she crossed the threshold and stood in the middle of the bar. Nothing looked out of place. Everything was ready and waiting, just as Juliet had left it all those weeks ago. “That’s surprising.” As she looked around, she felt…nothing. Nothing concerning, anyway. Paige had done such a good job with the clean-up that nobody would ever know Juliet was dying on the floor at one time. “It looks great. You’ve really done an amazing job, Paige.”

Nothing.

Silence.

Juliet turned around and focused on Paige. She stared down at a particular spot on the floor, most certainly zoned out from anything and anyone around her. A tear fell down her cheek, gathering at her jaw, her hands clenched into fists at her sides.

“Baby.” Juliet took a step towards Paige and held her against her. She rested her chin on top of Paige’s head and closed her eyes. This was a mistake, and Juliet felt dreadful for bringing Paige here. “I’m sorry.” Juliet held Paige tighter against her, turning her away from the spot Paige had been focused on. “Let’s go back outside.”

“No.” Paige spoke quietly, gripping Juliet against her. “No. Stay there.”

Juliet would give Paige whatever time she needed. “Okay.”

“Tell me what you’re thinking.”

Honestly, Juliet was only thinking about Paige right now. There had been no shocking reaction to her walking in here, so her focus was one hundred percent on Paige. “I’m worried about you.”

“No.” Paige drew back and searched Juliet’s eyes. “What are you thinking about being here?”

“Nothing. I felt nothing when I walked in.”

Paige scoffed and took a step back. “So, I need to just get a grip and move on.”

“Hey, no. I never said that. You’re entitled to feel how you feel, Paige. You were the one who saved my life in this very place. You are the one who went through the trauma of that, then the trauma of not knowing what the outcome would be. Not me.”

As Juliet said that, guilt settled deep in the pit of her stomach. She hadn’t considered the trauma Paige had been through in all of this. What kind of woman did that make Juliet? Selfish, she knew that much.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry.” Juliet cast her gaze on the space between them, devastated she had done this to Paige. “Y-you…you’re the reason I’m alive. You’re the one person I had to fight for. And I do this to you. I put you in this situation.”

“It’s okay. I had to come back here at some point.” Paige regarded Juliet with a gentle smile and took her hand. “Don’t feel bad about it. We…had to do this together.”

“You’ve spent the last several weeks taking care of me, being there when I needed you.”

Paige frowned. “Of course I have.”

“But I didn’t stop to ask if you were okay. I didn’t wonder if you needed someone.” Juliet swallowed down the emotion in her throat, bitterly disappointed by her choices lately. “You’ve sat up with me. You’ve held me. You’ve…loved me no matter what.”

Paige squeezed Juliet’s hand. “And I’d do it all over again.”

“You’ve been through far more than me, Paige. You dealt with the aftermath, you came here and took care of things, you…struggled alone.”