Page 7 of A Little Light

“It’s not pathetic. I imagine it’s quite difficult to start again when you’ve lost someone. I only fell in love with the wrong woman and thought my world was ending. What you’ve gone through…I can’t begin to comprehend it.”

“I’m doing okay. Much better than last year, anyway. I didn’t leave the loft at Christmas.”

“Tough, huh?”

Andi lifted a shoulder, catching a waft of mulled wine. She looked down at her cup, wondering if she could bring herself to drink it. But Rachel had done something kind in buying this drink for Andi, so the least she could do was try. Just…not yet. “It wasn’t a bed of roses, I can say that much. Just the thought of drinking this,” Andi said as she held up the cup. “Fills me with dread. I haven’t done anything I used to do with Jane since she passed away. Especially not things that centre around Christmas. It was our favourite time of year.”

“Shit, I’m sorry. Let me get you something else.”

Rachel tried to scramble to her feet, but Andi stopped her with a hand on her wrist. “No, it’s okay. I’m going to try it. I used to love mulled wine. I was always the one delegated to make it at home every year.”

“You must make very good mulled wine then.”

Andi grinned as she turned and looked in Rachel’s direction. “Yeah. I do make a mean mulled wine. You should try it sometime.”

Rachel nodded. “Love to.”

“So, why are you here alone?” Andi may have only been in the early stages of figuring out where her life was going, but there was no denying just how attractive Rachel was. She surely had someone in her life.

“I have no work on tonight. I thought I’d get out the house again rather than stay cooped up there. I’m just not feeling it at home anymore. Hence, wanting to move.”

“Which will happen, by the way.”

Rachel side-eyed Andi, a slight glint present. “I know. In your own time.”

“What is it you do? Your business card said Hush on it, but I’ve no idea what or where that is.”

“I’m…an escort. Full time. Have been for eleven years.”

“O-oh.” Andi wasn’t sure what to say to that. She hadn’t expected Rachel to be in that line of work. Though, if her appearance was anything to go by, she was sure Rachel was in very high demand at the escort agency. “Well, whatever makes you happy.”

“It used to make me happy. I loved going to work and meeting clients. Being wined and dined, dressing up, you know?” Andi nodded. “But I’ve recently had a bad experience, and it makes me wonder if I’m still cut out for it. Women can be brutal.”

“I’m sorry. Did somebody hurt you?”

“Emotionally, yes. But you know what? I wasn’t who she wanted, and that’s okay. She’s happy and in love, and I guess that’s what matters. That she’s happy.”

Andi lifted her cup and sipped, the explosion of spices in her mouth far more enjoyable than she thought they would be. God, she’d missed that taste. “And what about you?”

“I’ll find what I’m looking for in time. It’s not really an ideal profession to be in if I want a committed relationship. People assume you sleep with clients, but we don’t.”

“I think it’s a case of finding someone who trusts you enough to know that you’d never hurt them. Escorting is surely no different from going out for a business meal or something like that? If there’s no intimacy involved, then I’m not sure what the problem is.”

Rachel stared at Andi. Through her. Mouth agape.

“What?”

“N-nobody has ever said that to me before. You’re probably the only woman on this planet who has that opinion.”

“Look, I’m a firm believer in finding love. In finding that someone who makes you smile and laugh and who wants to hold you on the couch on Christmas Eve with an old film. Everyone deserves to experience that in their lifetime. It doesn’t matter what you do for work; you’re a human being with emotions and, unless I’m entirely wrong, someone who has a heart, too.”

“Wow.”

“Just being honest.” Andi sipped from her cup again, warming inside as the wine slid down her throat. “These are the nights I used to live for. The dark nights, Christmas just around the corner, being with friends and family…someone you love. When you find the right person, never let it go. Because being here with someone you care about, someone you couldn’t imagine living without, is incredibly special. Just drinking mulled wine can be the greatest night of your life if you’re holding the hand of the woman you share a life with.”

“I hope I can have that one day.”

Andi placed a hand on Rachel’s knee. “You will.”

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