Page 32 of A Little Light

“Oh. She’s flogged you a dodgy loft. Charming.”

“I’m sure she hasn’t.” Rachel rolled her eyes before checking the time. She had about ten minutes before Andi would arrive. “When she’s finished with the boiler, do you think I should ask her to stay? I wanted to kind of explain myself, you know?”

“Explain yourself?”

“Yeah. We were getting along so well before she mentioned the idea of a date. If nothing else, I owe her an explanation.”

Kelly cleared her throat. “I don’t believe you owe anyone anything, but I do think she would appreciate it. Maybe then you guys can move forward as friends. If…that’s what you want, of course.”

Rachel did want that. She really wanted Andi in her life in some capacity. Because since they’d gone to dinner last week—and subsequently seen far less of one another—Rachel had been miserable. Andi had been forthcoming; Rachel should have respected that rather than run away. Most women didn’t know how to handle Rachel or how to approach her, but Andi had felt comfortable enough doing so. Deep down, that meant a lot.

“If I knew without a doubt that I wasn’t making a mistake, I wouldn’t hesitate, Kelly. But I worry that Andi is just another Juliet for me. I know they’re entirely different people, but the way I’ve met them both is kinda similar. That should worry me, shouldn’t it?”

“I don’t know that you should be worried, Rae. I think that the fact Juliet was always a paying client is very different from what you have with Andi. Juliet always expected a particular service, it was the agreement, after all, but Andi met you as you. Not as an escort.”

“You know, she told me that an escort is the last thing she sees when she looks at me.” Rachel chewed her lip as she looked down at the pristine hardwood flooring. That had been the defining moment that night. It was the reason she’d left. Because as Rachel stood there being confident and unwavering, Andi had unravelled her within one sentence. Something she hadn’t expected for one moment. “Juliet never said that to me.”

“Because Juliet did only see you as an escort. Hence why she’s fallen in love with another woman.”

Yeah, Rachel didn’t need to be reminded of that. She was completely over Juliet, that was certain, but it still stung a little when she thought about Paige being the chosen one. What had Paige had that Rachel didn’t? “I know I fucked up by falling for her, but it’s really messed with my head. I just…I don’t know what I’m doing with myself most of the time lately. But that’s not because of Juliet. It’s all Andi. I can’t get her off my fucking mind, Kelly. I sit here wondering what she’s doing. I lay in bed, kicking myself for turning her down. But it was a shock, you know? I couldn’t believe someone as sweet as her, someone who had what sounds like an incredible marriage…would want to date me.”

“You’re a catch, and you know it, Rae.”

Rachel wasn’t belittling herself. No way. Still… “I just hadn’t expected it. I know what she thinks of me, and I really love that about her, but when we were alone, and she was saying all those things about me…things I’ve longed to hear from someone who I know I can be happy with, it threw me.”

“Then you should do exactly what you’ve suggested, babe. Speak to Andi. Tell her about Juliet and how you’re feeling. I do think she’d appreciate it, and maybe then you can stop thinking about it every minute of the day. Because you are, aren’t you?”

“S-she’s been on my mind a lot this week, yeah. Everything I do, she’s just there. In my head.” Rachel had no qualms admitting that. Still, she wasn’t sure it would change anything. She could discuss this with her best friend all day and night, but unless Andi had the details, what was the point? “That’s not a good sign, is it?”

“Honestly, I think it’s a great sign.”

Rachel frowned. “And how do you come to that conclusion?”

“Because I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. This could be good for you. But in order for you to find out, you’ll have to give it a chance.”

“She’s…invited me to a Christmas party.”

Rachel would admit to her belly fizzing at the idea of a Christmas party with Andi. If she’d realised anything since they’d met, it was that Andi was very much into Christmas. Perhaps they were suited to one another after all.

“And it’s just as friends?”

“Y-yeah. I think so.”

“Bullshit. No way. Another woman…one who is attracted to you, doesn’t invite you to a Christmas party as a friend. All it takes is for you to be standing far too close to the mistletoe, and boom! You’ll be back at your place naked with her.”

Rachel puffed out her cheeks, her brows raised. That image was now in her head, and it was the last thing she needed when she was about to come face-to-face with Andi. “Well, that escalated quickly.”

A knock at the door had Rachel suddenly panicking.

“Oh, shit. She’s here. I’d better go.”

“Okay. Just do one thing for me, Rae? Be yourself. Just…be you. Because I really love the real you.”

Could she really be herself? Yes, she could. She hadn’t been anything other than herself in Andi’s company. “I will. I’ll talk to you soon, okay?”

“Bye, Rae.”

She threw her phone to the couch, rushed to the door, and pulled it open. Andi stood in the corridor smiling back at her, a stark difference from the last time they’d seen one another. Seeing her in such a state had been hard. Andi always seemed so put together. Rachel enjoyed seeing her smile. “Hi. Come in.”

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