Page 12 of A Little Light

“I, uh. I’ve already done that. We’re going out for dinner on Friday.”

Kelly gasped. “You didn’t waste any time!”

“It’s not like that. Really, it’s not. I get the impression that she’s trying to start over but doesn’t know where to begin. As an escort who has been through this with several clients, I feel as though I’m in a position to be able to help where I can. It’s only dinner, and it’s nothing set in stone…nor is it going to mean anything. Just new friends getting to know one another.”

“For how long? I think stuff is still very raw for you. You were in love with Juliet, and then she just dropped you. Are you in a place where you can be a friend to someone who is going through a lot?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Rachel’s brow creased as she stopped in the middle of her living room.

“All I’m saying is that I don’t want either of you to take things further only to discover it was because you’re both single and alone.”

“Well, thanks.”

Kelly tutted, and then she huffed. “You know I’m only looking out for you, Rae. Anything you do, you know I’ll support, but seeing you so distraught after Juliet was quite upsetting for the people around you, too.”

“I know. But I’m doing okay. If I thought for one second that I could be too close to Andi, I’d back off. I don’t know why I feel drawn to her, but I am. I need to figure that reason out.”

“You know what you’re doing. Just please be careful. This woman is probably still grieving.”

“Look, even if she was ready to move on, I don’t think I could handle it all. When you’ve been married, and that person has passed away, it’s not the same as being single for other reasons. Surely, whoever she meets…they’re never going to live up to her wife.” Rachel couldn’t say she hadn’t thought about that. Because the truth was that she had. Only fleetingly, but the thought had crossed her mind. Still, first and foremost, she was doing this for Andi’s benefit, not her own agenda. “It’s just friends, okay?”

“Even if you wanted it to be more?” Kelly asked.

“Yeah. Even if I wanted it to be more.”

* * *

Okay. Just relax.

Andi blew a strand of hair from her face, neatly placing the paperwork she’d brought over on the island. Rachel was due here any minute now, and Andi needed to not think too much about what was going to happen tonight. She’d spoken to Sally for the best part of an hour earlier, and this was her final decision. She was ready to do this. Because if she didn’t do it now—a time when she had someone who actually wanted to be here interested in the loft—then she would never do it. There would always be a reason or an excuse. Andi was done with making excuses.

She rolled her shoulders and flicked the kettle on. Andi would usually have a coffeemaker here, too, but the loft was mostly empty, so her coffeemaker was now sitting on the worktop of a kitchen she wasn’t overly fond of. She didn’t get the impression that instant coffee would offend Rachel, though. Actually, she wasn’t sure anything had ever offended Rachel in life. That woman was so easy-going that it was unnerving Andi. Just this morning, she’d made the short trip to work thinking about her. How Andi felt strangely happier in the past few days since they’d met. She wasn’t sure why that had happened, but it was the first time since before Jane’s diagnosis that she felt some hint of positivity for the future.

Andi shrugged. Maybe it was the idea of having a new friend in her life.

Or…maybe she was swaying a different way.

After all, Andi had gone out of her way to say as little as possible about Rachel to Sally before. Why? Wouldn’t that imply she had something to hide? Or something she didn’t feel comfortable talking about? Whatever was going on inside Andi’s head, she didn’t like it. She hated not feeling in control of herself.

The buzzer sounded around the empty loft. It reminded Andi that this would soon be filled with someone else’s life. Only as she thought that, and knowing it was Rachel, she didn’t feel so sad anymore. No, she felt excited for Rachel.

Andi granted her access, opening the front door and leaving it ajar. She checked over the paperwork once more, aware that Rachel had somewhere to be this evening, and took a pen from her handbag. She didn’t want to take up more time than necessary, even if she did secretly enjoy spending time with the woman who was about to buy her loft.

“Knock, knock.”

Andi spun around, wearing the best smile she could. But her eyes landed on Rachel, and she almost stumbled back against the island. “H-hi. Come in.” Andi gripped the edge of the counter, trying hard not to appraise the woman standing before her. Rachel wore a figure-hugging navy blue dress and nude stilettos, her blonde hair straight and sitting over one shoulder.

Oh, Jesus. Andi swallowed, convinced that her neck was beginning to redden. “I, um…did you want coffee or something?”

“Coffee would be lovely. I’m a little early, but I figured since I had nothing else on this afternoon, I’d maybe hang around here until I have to leave to meet my client. If you’re going to be here anyway, obviously.”

Andi swallowed again, as inconspicuously as she could. Rachel had knocked her for six this evening. “Yeah, that’s fine. Have a seat wherever you like.”

Rachel offered a dazzling smile in Andi’s direction, confusing Andi further. Why had she reacted that way when Rachel arrived? She was a married woman! Was, Andi thought. She had been a married woman, but not anymore. Not…technically.

“Good day at work?” Rachel asked as she effortlessly lifted herself up onto a stool. Huh, this was now escort Rachel. It had to be. Even the way she carried herself was entirely different from the times they’d met before.

“Yes. Quiet, but that’s generally because it’s the run-up to Christmas. Who wants the headache of buying a home during this time?”