Page 83 of A Little Light

“Perfect. I can’t wait to see you. I missed you last night.”

Rachel had missed Andi too. She’d had an all evening booking with a regular, and by the time she had left the club, it was after midnight. She didn’t want to wake Andi by getting in so late, so she’d chose to go home instead. Rachel smiled. “I know, babe. I missed you, too.” Kelly managed to rush across the street before the traffic neared, landing in front of Rachel. “I’ll call you in a couple of hours, okay?”

“Okay. Bye, Rachel.”

“Yeah, I…Bye, babe.” Rachel cleared her throat as she lowered her phone. That was the second time she’d almost told Andi she loved her at the end of a call now.

She’s not ready.

“What’s up with your face?” Kelly asked, linking an arm through Rachel’s. “Trouble with Andi?”

“What? No. No way. Andi is just…perfection personified.” They strolled along the main road, stopping outside their favourite coffee shop. “I have to keep catching myself.”

“Catching yourself?” Kelly guided Rachel towards a table outside, the sun beaming down today. June, so far, had been gorgeous. “What do you mean?”

Rachel inhaled a deep breath, slumping down in a seat. “I keep almost saying I love you to her.”

“I don’t see the problem with that.” Of course Kelly wouldn’t. There shouldn’t really be a problem with it. Rachel just wasn’t sure it was the right time. Andi was so good for her…to her, but she didn’t want to say it out loud and chance anything changing. “Unless you…don’t love her?”

“I-I do.” Rachel knew without a shadow of a doubt that she was in love with Andi Palmer. There was no question when it came to her feelings. None whatsoever. “I know I do.”

“Then what’s wrong with telling her that?”

Rachel sighed, trying to find the right words to explain how she felt. But then she looked up at Kelly, noting her soft eyes, and knew she could just be honest. “The thought of being rejected…”

“You think Andi is going to reject you if you tell her you love her?” Kelly laughed and shook her head. “No. No way. Andi is in love with you, and I’d bet my house on it.”

“How can you possibly know that? Has she told you or are you just assuming?”

Kelly regarded Rachel with a lopsided smile. “No, she hasn’t told me. But everyone around you two can see it. It’s unmistakable. And honestly, I think it’s been pretty obvious for a while now.” Kelly ordered two cappuccinos when the server arrived, then turned her attention back to Rachel. “That little get together thing you two had at the loft. The loft warming or whatever…since then. Andi didn’t take her eyes off you all night.”

Rachel had noticed. She’d felt it, too. It was hard not to feel Andi’s penetrating gaze most of the time. “I know, but that doesn’t mean she’ll appreciate me telling her. What if she’s not ready, Kel? I really don’t want to do anything to scare her off.”

“You’ve been together for like seven months now, babe. If Andi doesn’t feel even a hint of what you do, then I have to ask whether you two should be together. But I don’t need to ask that, because I know you were made for each other. Or…at least Andi was made for you.”

Rachel appreciated that Kelly always took Andi’s late wife into account. Neither of them went about their conversations without taking Jane into consideration. It was important that Rachel remembered Andi had once been happily married. She wouldn’t set her expectations so high by reminding herself daily. “Am I mad for imagining her moving back into the loft one day?”

Kelly lifted a shoulder. “I don’t think so. But that’s something you and Andi would have to discuss between you. She may not want to, and if that is the case, you have to respect that.”

“Oh, I would. Absolutely. But I do still picture us living together down the line.”

“And I’m sure the thought has crossed Andi’s mind once or twice lately.”

Rachel really hoped Kelly was speaking the truth. If she blurted any of this out in front of Andi and it backfired, she wasn’t sure what she would do. While it was important to remember Jane, Rachel still wanted that intense love. Surely Andi had a little to spare for her. Oh, she has plenty for you and you know it. It was true. Their relationship was only going from strength to strength. Andi had so much to give. “I think maybe I need to speak to her tonight. You know, get a feel for what she’s thinking about the future and stuff.”

“Can’t do any harm, Rae.”

The server placed their coffees down, slipping the bill under the small glass jar holding sugar cubes. Rachel smiled at her, giving herself a moment to just relax and enjoy her afternoon. If she was so unsure about it this evening, she didn’t have to bring it up in conversation. She would see how she felt later. “Anyway, never mind me. We always talk about me. Tell me about you and what you’ve been up to lately.”

“Oh, you know me. Not a lot.” Kelly smiled. “Although, I…may have met someone.”

“You have?” Rachel really loved that for Kelly. And now she wanted to know far more. “Who is he?”

“I…it’s actually a she.”

Rachel’s mouth was agape as she stared back at Kelly. Her best friend had never once insinuated she was into the ladies…and they’d been friends for a very long time. “No way. Since when?”

“It’s very early. Really early. But you know, I’m just going with it.”

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