Page 73 of A Little Light

Rachel lifted Andi’s hand and kissed her knuckles. “Then I really don’t have anything else to say about all of this.” She got to her feet, calm and collected, as she turned to Sally and Claire. “Moving forward, I’ll stay out of your way. I won’t expect to be invited to lunches, or parties, or whatever it is you all get up to. But I will be in Andi’s life whether you want that or not.”

God, that was painful to hear. All Andi wanted was a normal life again. She hated the thought of her friends being disrespectful towards the woman she knew she was falling for.

“Rachel—”

Rachel lifted a hand and cut Sally off. “I promised to be here to help with the prep for tomorrow. So, here I am…and now I should probably get in the kitchen and make a start.” Rachel leaned down and kissed Andi, her hands braced on the arm of the couch. “I’ll take care of all the prep. You enjoy some time with your friends.”

Sadness anchored in the pit of Andi’s stomach as she watched Rachel leave the living room. And then a single tear slid down her cheek, one that Sally noticed as Andi stared through her. “I don’t want to have this conversation with you anymore.”

Sally nodded slowly, nudging Claire. “Come on, we should be heading back anyway.”

Claire rose to her feet as Andi slowly did the same. She hated this. The atmosphere and tension between her and her friends. This wasn’t the woman she was, and it wasn’t what she expected from those closest to her, either.

Sally approached the living room door and shrugged her coat on, but Claire remained in front of Andi with tears in her eyes. She pulled Andi into a hug and sighed. “Merry Christmas, love. Have a beautiful day with one another.”

“Thanks, Claire. I hope yours runs smoothly.” Andi pulled back, a faint smile on her lips. “I’m sorry it’s come to this, but…I don’t know. Maybe in time, things will change. I wish people could be happy for me, but I understand that Jane was everyone’s friend and not just my wife. It’s hard, but Rachel makes me happy, and I have to see where this goes.”

“I’m happy for you. Don’t ever forget that.” Claire squeezed Andi’s shoulders and turned to leave. She stopped and looked up at Sally, then shook her head. “You’ve made a mess of this, haven’t you? Get in the car. We have things to talk about.”

“Hey, Claire.” Andi smiled when Claire turned back. “Let it go. It’ll figure itself out if it’s supposed to.”

Claire scoffed ever so slightly. “I don’t know how you’re so okay with this. I’m not.”

“I’ve spent the last several years grieving. Before I lost her, and since. I don’t want either of you to walk out of here tonight on bad terms with one another because we don’t know what’s around the corner. I may be slowly losing two of my closest and oldest friends, but I’ll never forget the help you’ve given me, the love and support you’ve shown me, or the times you’ve dropped everything to be what I needed. You have a wonderful heart, Claire. And you too, Sally. Go home, have a beautiful Christmas, and just love one another. For me, at least. That’s all I need from both of you. To be happy together.”

Sally sniffled, staring down at the parquet flooring in Andi’s hallway. “I’m sorry, Andi. I had no right to say the things I did to you. I feel like a fool.”

Andi knew Sally would be feeling that way. Her quietness confirmed it. “If it’s how you feel, then don’t change that for my sake.”

“Only…it’s not how I feel. Not really. Rachel is great; she’s exactly what you need. But I am worried about you going into this…and I’m not sure it would matter who it was with or what their career is. Talking about moving on is easy—anyone can do that. But to see it…and to watch it happen so quickly, it does terrify me. Because if this goes wrong, I’m not sure how much more you can take.”

Andi appreciated that. If Sally could have just spoken those words from her heart, then they wouldn’t be in this situation. “I know how long you’ve spent taking care of me, but I’m feeling really good, Sal. I’m feeling the best I’ve felt in a long time. And maybe this won’t last, but I don’t know that unless I try. If that day does come, I’ll deal with it then. And I’ll be perfectly fine in the process.”

“You’re sure?” Sally asked, wariness in her eyes. “You promise me that you’ll be okay?”

“I always am. Because I have a strong support network around me. But I don’t think you’re going to have anything to worry about, Sal. Rachel is…” Andi sighed, wrapping her arms around herself and smiling.

Sally smiled. “I know. I can tell by the way she looks at you.”

“Yeah?”

“Mmhmm.” Sally chanced a step forward, opening her arms. “Come here. I’m so sorry.”

Andi accepted the embrace, the tension in her shoulders falling away.

“You know I only want the best for you. I promised Jane I would always look after you, and I meant that. If Rachel is your future, then I look forward to everything you have to come.”

Andi sniffled, holding Sally at arm’s length. “Thank you for the flowers on Jane’s grave. They were beautiful.”

Sally’s brows drew together. “How did you—”

“You really think I didn’t go there today? When you arrived—all guns blazing—that was where I’d been. Rachel offered to take me and stay with me.”

“And then I came here and opened my bloody big mouth.”

Andi held up a hand and shook her head. “No. This stops now. You two are going to go home and probably get drunk on wine instead of getting things ready for tomorrow, and I’m going to go and help my girlfriend before she leaves me for someone who actually helps out.” Andi exhaled a breath. “You owe Rachel an apology, but I think for the time being, it’s best if you head home. We can meet up after Christmas, and you better be prepared to grovel.”

“I will. I promise you that.” Sally held Andi’s face in her hands. “Merry Christmas, my love.”

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