Page 69 of A Little Light

“I’m okay. I just feel out of sorts today.” Andi trailed her fingertip down the side of Rachel’s neck, enjoying her soft skin. “Sally and Claire came with me last year. We were supposed to do it this year, too.”

“And she hasn’t been in touch about it.” Rachel nodded slowly.

“Look, it’s fine. If Sally isn’t comfortable around me, then it’s okay. I can’t force someone to see what I want them to see.”

“And what do you want her to see?”

“You. How happy you make me. The fun we have together. She knows it deep down, but if she thinks it’s best to cut me off, then I can’t change that.”

Rachel lowered her eyes, toying with Andi’s necklace. “I hate that she’s doing this to you because of me. All I want is a normal relationship with people around me who actually want to breathe the same air as me. Why does it have to be so complicated?”

“You and I don’t feel complicated…”

“Oh, we’re not.” Rachel’s blue eyes brightened as she said that. “You’re the most uncomplicated thing in my life, Andi.”

“Good.” Andi offered Rachel a peck on the lips. “Everything will work out how it’s supposed to.”

“Andi?”

Andi turned and prepared their coffee. “Mm?”

“Would you like me to come to the graveyard with you?”

Oh, Andi’s heart melted at that question. She looked over her shoulder at Rachel and smiled. “While I really appreciate that, I’ll be okay. I want to separate this from my past. And I don’t want you to feel as though you have to tiptoe around anything either.”

“No, that’s…not going to happen. I understand that you’ve had an epic love story, and I really love that for you. I’d like to come with you if…if you’ll have me there.”

“You would?” Andi handed Rachel a coffee, determined to hold back the emotion she felt around this woman. Every day seemed to bring another surprise. Rachel nodded. “Then I’d love it if you came with me.”

* * *

“Thank you for driving me here.” Andi settled a hand on Rachel’s knee, squeezing lightly. “I wasn’t expecting you to be so open to the idea. I’m sorry I didn’t bring it up earlier.”

“I get it. It’s okay. I just hope you know that I can be wherever you need me to be.”

Andi appreciated that far more than Rachel knew. Honestly, the thought of coming here alone was daunting, but she hadn’t wanted to show it. Through the year, Andi enjoyed visiting Jane’s grave, but on Christmas Eve…that was a different matter. That was when the grief really hit. She hoped it wouldn’t be so severe this year, but until Andi woke up the next morning, she couldn’t possibly say. “I’m a little worried about tomorrow.”

Rachel turned in her seat, unbuckling her seatbelt. “Why?”

“I don’t want to get upset or sit around reminiscing when we’re supposed to be enjoying Christmas with one another.”

“Andi, babe.” Rachel took her hand and brought it to her lips. She kissed Andi’s skin, smiling as she drew back. “Whatever happens tomorrow, I’ll be there for you. Okay?”

God, Andi adored that about Rachel. Yes, being neutral came with her job, but this wasn’t her job. It was a relationship. “I know you will. But I’m going to try to put it to the back of my mind if I can. Jane would understand.”

“Hey, no. That’s not what we’re doing. I know you have a past. I know that life has been really tough for you lately. You take it one step at a time, and we go from there. All I ask is that you talk to me if you need to…or want to. Please don’t think I don’t want to hear it. How you’re feeling is hugely important to me. Tomorrow more so.”

Andi leaned over the console between them, hooking one finger under Rachel’s chin. She smiled into a kiss, not wanting to stop. “Thank you.”

“Come on. I think it’s going to rain soon.” Rachel climbed from her car and popped the boot. Andi followed, taking the bouquet of flowers from Rachel. “You okay?”

Andi exhaled a breath. “Yes. I’m okay.” Rachel took Andi’s hand as she locked the car, but Andi could only watch her. Admire her. There was something about Rachel that held her intrigue. “I…am proud to call you mine.”

Rachel dipped her head, a shy smile working its way to her mouth. “That means a lot.”

“I don’t care what people think of you. Friends included. I only care that you and I are moving forward, discovering more about one another while grabbing life with both hands.”

“That sounds like the perfect plan to me.”

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