Page 41 of A Little Light

“Usual rush hour,” Jean said, shrugging as she took her seat. “And I know you need to talk, so please, spill.”

“I’m…okay. Nothing that I can’t figure out myself.”

Jean lifted a brow as Andi sat down at one of her employees’ desks. “You’re not sleeping. It’s coming up to another Christmas without Jane. You know I’m here for you, Andi.”

Andi smiled at the mention of Jane. She’d dreamt about her last night during what little sleep she did get. Jane often visited Andi in her dreams, and it was always when she had things on her mind. Even in death, her wife continued to comfort her. “It’s not about Jane. But thank you for being concerned.”

“If it’s not about Jane, then what is it about?”

Andi sipped her coffee, enjoying her first caffeine hit of the day. She’d been running so late this morning that she hadn’t managed a sip of the one still sitting on the counter at home. “I met someone.” Andi felt more comfortable talking about this with Jean than Sally. She didn’t believe it was the right conversation to have with her best friend just yet. One hint of the word escort and Sally could potentially have a meltdown. “Rachel. She’s lovely.”

“You…met someone. Wow. I wasn’t expecting that.”

Andi shrugged. “It’s not going anywhere. Especially not after last night.”

“I’m going to need a little more.” Jean shifted in her seat and crossed her legs.

“We met a few weeks ago at the Christmas markets in town. She’s in the process of buying a loft…my loft. We went out to dinner, and I foolishly put my foot in it by hinting at a date with her, but we remained friends.”

“Wait, she turned down a date with you?”

Andi appreciated everyone stroking her ego, but it wasn’t necessary. “Yes. That’s not the point, though.” She rocked back in her seat, crossing her own legs. “Rachel is an escort. I knew that from the second meeting we had, and obviously, it’s not an issue for me, or I wouldn’t have kept in touch with her.”

Jean narrowed her eyes. “Right.”

“She thinks I want to be her client now. I stupidly suggested booking her on Saturday, and now she thinks I want her to be my escort.”

“I mean, I can see why she thinks that, love. If you didn’t want to be her client, why would you suggest booking her?”

Andi waved a hand. “I’m not getting into that. It doesn’t matter.” It did matter, but Andi didn’t want Jean to know that she needed help when it came to dating again. She already felt humiliated enough. “We spoke last night, and she told me she couldn’t do that but that she could book me someone if I…wanted to have sex.”

“O…kay. And I’m assuming that’s not what you want?”

“God, no. I’m not going to pay someone to sleep with me. Fuck, I’m not desperate, Jean.”

“I know, I know. But surely you understand where she’s coming from, no?”

Andi didn’t understand where Rachel was coming from. Hadn’t she been clear in her reasoning when she’d suggested what she had? Something to help her back into dating? Part of her slightly understood that Rachel probably didn’t trust many women when it came to their intentions, but to accuse Andi of this all being a ploy to work her way toward client status…then to suggest sex? Feeling thrown didn’t quite do it justice to how she felt this morning. “No, I don’t understand. I’ve never once hinted at seeing her as an escort. Never.”

“Then I don’t quite know what to say.”

“No, me neither.” Andi had wanted to explain last night. God, she’d wanted to tell Rachel none of those things were true, but she had been too shocked to stay in the loft for another moment. Shocked…and hurt by her accusation. Andi had always tried to show Rachel that her career didn’t define her. To have it thrown back at her like that? She wasn’t sure she could face Rachel ever again. But she would, at some point. When Andi felt strong enough and less embarrassed. “It’s just a shame it ended like this. She’s really great, and we’ve had so much fun together.”

“See her again. Talk it through.”

Andi shook her head gently. “I think it’s best if I let her cool off and wait until I hear from her. Although, I don’t expect I will. She’s strong-willed and doesn’t take shit from anyone. But that’s okay. I’d like to set the record straight, but I respect what she thinks of me now, and I don’t want to make things worse.”

“I think she’ll come around eventually,” Jean said, offering a wink and a smirk. “You’re too much of a nice person for it to be the end of your friendship. I have to ask, though. What does Sally think about it?”

“She knows about Rachel, but she doesn’t know what happened last night. Or at the weekend. She loves the idea of me moving on and meeting someone, but I’m not ready for the potential backlash of her knowing Rachel is an escort.”

“But nothing is happening with Rachel, right?”

“No, and I can’t see it ever going anywhere, but small steps…you know?”

Jean nodded and brought her cup to her lips again.

“I’m only just coming to terms with the sudden desire to date. I think it’s best if my friends know bits and pieces when I’m ready to tell them. They won’t hate me for that. I’m simply doing what’s best for me.”

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