Page 26 of A Little Light

Rachel didn’t enjoy hearing Kelly in this state. She knew people worried about her, she worried herself at times, but Rachel would never put herself in a situation where she could come to any harm. She’d done this long enough to know when to cut an evening short. “Have you finished ranting down the phone to me?”

“Maybe you should take the rest of the week off. It’s not like you need the money. Andi will be handing over the keys soon, so maybe you could start packing your things up.”

“I…already have,” Rachel said, looking at the boxes sitting in the corner of her kitchen. She hadn’t kept anything out that she didn’t absolutely need. The place looked pretty sparse as she glanced around. “Knowing my luck, it’ll be after Christmas now before I hear from her.”

“There’s no chain, and you’re ready to go as soon as possible. I doubt it’ll be after Christmas.”

Rachel flicked the kettle on, preparing herself a cup of tea. The first person she’d thought of tonight as she climbed into the cab was Andi. Rachel had been close to sending her a text message but had ultimately decided against it. “I hope she’s doing okay.”

“Why…wouldn’t she be?”

“I-I don’t know. I think maybe I’ve upset her by turning her down, but I didn’t do it to hurt her. She probably needs a friend around this time of year.”

“I’m sure she has friends. But if you’re missing her, you should call her, Rae.”

“I’m not missing her.” That was a lie. “We just got on really well with one another.”

“So, call her. Maybe see if she wants to meet up for a drink or something. I do have to say that she looked quite surprised to see you at the market the other night. I’m not sure she knew what to do with herself.”

“No, I know. And that’s my fault. I shouldn’t have run out the door last Friday. It wasn’t as though she was about to pounce on me. We should have talked it through. I should have talked it through.” Rachel had chastised herself on many occasions since that night. Andi wasn’t the kind of woman you just cut ties with because you were worried about getting attached. She also didn’t seem like the kind of person who would try her luck down the line. No. Andi was respectful. Hadn’t she shown that just by being the very person she was? “You know what I think it is?”

“What?”

“How fine she seems to be with what I do for work. I told her that the second night we met, and she didn’t even flinch. She actually told me that she thinks it’s great…and not because she was eyeing me up as an escort.”

“I think you really need to consider if you want to leave her behind. She sounds like she could be good for you, babe.”

Oh, Andi would be good for Rachel. There were no two ways about that. But she still had reservations when she allowed herself to imagine the possibility for a single second. Juliet flitted into her mind, her client this evening too, and then Andi made an appearance…those kind, dark eyes calming Rachel unexpectedly. “I don’t know what to do for the best anymore.”

“You want to see her again, don’t you?”

“Honestly? Yes.”

Kelly giggled. “Then what the hell are you waiting for? Seriously, give me one good reason why you shouldn’t see Andi again?”

Rachel chewed her lip. “Because she’s grieving.”

“If she was, she wouldn’t have told you how she felt the other night. Try again.”

Rachel hated it when Kelly was in this kind of mood. She was insufferable. “Because it wouldn’t work out. I don’t even know how to be in a relationship, Kelly. It’s been a long time since I allowed myself to think about falling in love. And before you mention Juliet, she was completely different. That just happened without me realising it for the most part.”

“You don’t know that it wouldn’t work out. Nobody knows if their relationship is going to work out. So, try again…again.”

“Fine. I’m scared, okay?” Rachel hadn’t wanted to be brutally honest; it was easier to give simple reasons. But she was. She was terrified.

“Scared of what, Rae?”

“Getting my heart broken all over again. Juliet didn’t even see me as anything other than her escort, and I was still devastated when she said she wanted to stop seeing me. To willingly go into something with Andi, I’d be a fool. And when the day did come that she decided I wasn’t right for her, it would be my own fault. Why the hell would I put myself through that?”

“They’re not all Juliet. Andi isn’t even your client. Shouldn’t that tell you everything you need to know? That she sees you and not what you do for a living.”

Kelly made a good point. Damn it. “Maybe, I don’t know.”

“Except you do know. You know exactly what you want, and you can tell me until you’re blue in the face that it’s not Andi, but you’ve always been a terrible liar. It’s one of the things I love most about you.”

“Look, I need to get out of this dress. Can I call you in the morning? I think I will close my diary for the week.” Rachel needed some time to herself. Time to think. “Maybe we can do lunch if you’re free one afternoon.”

“Count me in. Call me tomorrow. Love you, babe.”

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