Page 86 of Study You

Wanting another five minutes of peace and quiet, Gillian chose to remain silent while shifting closer. Finn instinctively reached out an arm, pulling Gillian against her. She had noticed how quiet Finn had been once she returned from the bar last night, but Gillian had put it down to tiredness. After all, Finn had been working extra hard lately. Perhaps now that the house was finished, Finn had crashed and burned. Which was entirely understandable if that was the case.

Still, Gillian wasn’t convinced.

“Mornin’, babe.” Finn kissed Gillian’s hair, lingering for a moment. “How was your first night at your new place? Sleep well?”

“Incredibly well. It’s so much quieter here. I didn’t hear a single police siren all night.” Gillian really had made the right decision when it came to buying this place. The space felt exciting and had so much potential. And the garden…well, she couldn’t wait until summer arrived and she could spend her days out there. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Because you look a little tired. Burnt out, maybe…” Gillian settled her palm against Finn’s bare stomach, enjoying the quietness of the morning. “But if you’re okay, then I’m okay.”

“I…think Deena knows about us.”

Gillian allowed that to sink in before she started to have a meltdown because it would surely come. She rolled onto her back, mirroring Finn’s position, and closed her eyes. They only had another five months to go before Finn was officially no longer one of her students. Why did it have to turn out this way before then?

“I’m not certain. I think I managed to get out of it, but we should be a little more careful from now on.”

“How could she know about us, Finn? Did you say something you shouldn’t have?”

“What? No.” Finn turned onto her side, frowning in Gillian’s direction. “Do you really think I’m that stupid?” Finn leaned in and kissed Gillian’s shoulder, then sighed. “Morgan made a comment last night about you. How I was dating multiple women. She thought I was on a date with Deena, I think.”

Gillian scoffed. Morgan had always rubbed her the wrong way, and she couldn’t put her finger on the why. Although, she was fairly sure Morgan had a thing for Finn. She wasn’t stupid. She had caught the stolen glances from the bartender. “Why would she think you were on a date with Deena?”

“Because Morgan always talks about how I’m some kind of womaniser. Which, by the way, I’m not. She just assumed and got it wrong.” Finn laughed. “Well, she didn’t get it wrong because we are together, but she has no proof, so…you know?”

“Do you trust Deena?” Gillian side glanced at Finn. If someone potentially knew about them, Gillian could only pray it was someone who wasn’t out to hurt either of them. “And…is she into you at all?”

“Deena? Nah, she’s a friend. We drink beer together. I’m pretty sure she’s straight, too.”

“So, if Deena did know about us, she’s not likely to tell anyone at the university as a way of getting back at you?” Gillian hated feeling suspicious of people, but that was a consequence of all this.

“Deena has her own shit going on. She has a terrible life with her ex. You and I are probably the last thing on her mind. I just…feel awful for lying to her. I got pissy because she ‘accused’ me of sleeping with you. When in reality, she’s completely right.”

“Mm. That’ll be that guilt I’ve been living with since this started.”

Finn lowered her eyes, sadness in the atmosphere around them. “I’m sorry you’ve been dealing with that. It’s not a nice way to feel at all. Not when this should be an exciting time for us.”

“I guess when you break the rules and have to hide, there’s very little to be excited about.” Gillian exhaled a calming breath, determined to figure this out without worrying. They were beyond the point of return; she couldn’t change that. “If you think Deena can keep it to herself, if you trust her, then tell her. I don’t want you to feel the guilt I do, Finn. One of us should at least feel hopeful where all of this is concerned.”

“Five months, Gillian. That’s all we have left.” Finn propped her head in her hand, stroking her fingertips over the swell of her breast. “Everything is going to be okay. At the end of this, we will still be together.”

“And I’ll still have a job?”

Finn regarded her with a sympathetic smile. “Of course you will. There is no way you’re losing your job. I…won’t let that happen.”

Gillian relaxed her shoulders, wishing she didn’t feel that constant tension so much. How could she be tense about a situation she had no control over? Some may say she could control it, that she could end this with Finn, but that simply wasn’t a possibility. She loved this woman lying beside her. Her bruised and battered heart was beginning to mend. Walking away was not on the horizon.

“Five months.” Gillian sighed.

“Five months.”

* * *

“Finn? Is that you?”

Finn smiled as she closed the front door, turning for the living room. “Yeah. It’s me, Mum.” She shoved her keys in her pocket and ran a hand through her hair as she stopped at the mirror in the hallway. She stepped into the living room, not surprised to see her dad wasn’t home. “He not in?”

“He’s gone to the chip shop for us. Fish and chips for dinner tonight. Are you staying? I can call him and ask him to get extra.”

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