Page 78 of Study You

“Are you saying you don’t want me to do that again?” Gillian pushed out her bottom lip, adoring the smile Finn wore.

“Never, babe. It was a nice surprise.”

“Good. Can I get you a beer or anything?”

Finn lifted her hands and rubbed Gillian’s shoulders. “No. You can go and sit down while I run you a bath. You need to rest and relax. I hate seeing you tired.”

God. Finn was incredibly attentive. Gillian knew that not long after they’d resumed their…activities, but she never imagined she’d be on the receiving end of it almost daily. “You don’t have to do that. You’ve worked far harder than me today.”

“It’s not a competition. And it’s also not up for discussion. Sit down, I’ll make you a cup of tea, and then I’ll sort your bath out for you.”

Gillian stroked a thumb across Finn’s cheek, smiling as they gazed at one another. “Do you know how lucky I am to have you in my life?”

“I think we’re equally as lucky as one another.”

Gillian dipped her head, blushing. She always did when Finn looked at her the way she was right now. A look that could potentially come with an ‘I love you’ at any moment.

“How do you do that?” Finn asked, finding Gillian’s eyes. “Switch from the person you were at the house…to this.”

“We’re the same person. It’s just…” Gillian shook her head as she took her bottom lip between her teeth. “Never mind.”

“Tell me, babe.” Finn’s brow furrowed. “You know I appreciate it when you’re open and honest with me.”

“The way you look at me sometimes,” Gillian said, cradling Finn’s chin in her hand. “It’s a way I’ve always wished you’d look at me. And now that you do, it reminds me of just what we have. That it’s not only sex anymore.”

“But…that’s what you want, right? For it to not be just sex anymore?”

Gillian held onto Finn’s open shirt, pulling their bodies together. “This is all I’ve wanted for so many years, Finn. Someone like you. Or rather…exactly you.”

“Well, you have me, babe. All of me. For as long as I’m lucky enough to have you.”

“We haven’t discussed our relationship much lately. While I prefer things that way, it is important to me to know that you’re still feeling okay about it. About the secrecy.”

Finn lifted a shoulder. “It won’t be forever. We get plenty of one another when we’re alone. It’s enough for me until I can have more of you…outside of this place.”

Gillian hadn’t known how much that would relax her. While she mostly forgot about the way this had to be, the idea that Finn could demand more or walk away did flit into her mind occasionally. “God, I hope you still want me when your module with me is over.”

Finn pulled back ever so slightly, shock written all over her handsome face. “Still want you?”

“I was your fantasy, Finn. And yes, you were mine. While you’ve become everything other than my fantasy in recent weeks, that may not be true for you. When your module ends, if you don’t…feel that pull towards me anymore, please tell me.”

If that day did come, Gillian would be shattered. More so than when she caught Dave cheating. Because Finn Ashton was her world right now. And as this went on, as things deepened and intensified in other ways, she knew Finn would only come to mean even more to her. Gillian tried to keep her heart out of it at times, but she was struggling to do that lately. The last month had been so amazing for her that the thought of losing Finn physically hurt. That was a new experience for Gillian. To feel pain at a simple thought.

“Babe, you’re so much more than a fantasy to me. That fantasy ended the night you brought me back here. The first time I kissed you, touched you, I can’t even explain it. I knew what I wanted…I just wasn’t allowed to have it. Now that we’re in a different place, now that I’m yours and you’re mine…what you see is what you get. Anything I’ve said or done, I mean.” Finn guided Gillian into a soft, lingering kiss. The kind of kiss Gillian was becoming used to…and wanted more of. A kiss which promised Gillian that Finn was all in. “Don’t ever think that you’re nothing more than my fantasy. And don’t ever think that the day we can go public…I’ll back away. I can’t wait until the day when I can hold your hand in a bar or introduce you to people as my girlfriend.”

“You really mean that.” It wasn’t a question but a statement.

“I mean it with everything that I am, Gillian. You may be my superior outside of here…but behind closed doors, you’re basically my life.”

Gillian’s heart raced at that, her pulse whooshing in her ears. “I just want to enjoy any moment I can with you, Finn.”

“And that’s exactly what we’ve been doing. But when the time is right, when you’re sure there’s no repercussions, I’m going to take you out. For dinner, for walks, some crazy things I can think of. We’re going to do it all, babe. And we’ll enjoy it more than we probably should because we’ve waited so long.”

“Then…I look forward to those days with you.”

“I know.” Finn smiled into a kiss, guiding Gillian towards the couch. “Now, sit down so I can sort out your bath. Then…I’ll sit with you while we decide what to have for dinner. I had all intentions of cooking for you tonight, but we’re both whacked, so I’ll do that tomorrow instead.”

Gillian exhaled a contented sigh, watching Finn head for the bathroom. Was she happy? Deliriously happy. Would it last? Time would tell.

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