Page 8 of Study You

“Is that so?” Gillian turned in her seat and curled her legs to the side of her. She propped her elbow on the back of the couch, watching Finn intently. “Why is that?”

“You bring it out in me. You make me feel like I can be that person.” Finn studied Gillian’s eyes, the delicate lines on her face. She could be wrong, but… “You…like that side of me.”

Gillian smirked. “Oh, I do. I really like that side of you.”

“Can I be completely honest?” Gillian nodded as Finn cleared her throat. “Those moments I’ve had with you…well, it’s like an escape for me. You know?”

“An escape…”

“I don’t have the time to date at the minute. It’s simply not possible between uni and life at home. When you looked at me the way you did the day we met…I had to explore it. To see what it meant. And yeah, being with you is an escape. A luxury escape, of course.”

Gillian took her bottom lip between her teeth and shook her head slowly. “It’s strange to hear you say that.”

“Why?” This had to be the most conversation Finn had ever had with another woman. Sure, she played around and dabbled here and there when she needed to relieve some tension, but this? This was new. In many ways, she enjoyed this.

“Because you’re an escape for me, too.”

Okay, that did catch Finn off guard. One hundred percent. Gillian could have anyone she wanted, why Finn? “O…kay.”

“It’s nothing. Really. Nothing worth discussing, anyway.” Gillian trailed a fingertip around the rim of her wine glass, no longer making eye contact with Finn.

“Try me. You may have other ideas about me, but I can be a good listener.”

“No, Finn. You’ve come here because you need to talk. I’m not going to take over that space for you.”

“I’ve said what I needed to say.” Finn mirrored Gillian’s position, relaxing and hoping her body language showed that. “Tell me…why am I an escape for you?”

“I’m not sure I want to say. I’m not quite over the humiliation of it all as it is, and it’s been a year.”

Concern grew within Finn. Why would Gillian feel humiliated? And who the fuck had made her feel that way? “I know we don’t know one another. I know you have your people, and I’m just your student. But I am here to listen if that’s what you want.” This time Finn did chance sliding her hand forward, resting it on Gillian’s knee. “Okay?”

“I prefer the fun side of you.” Gillian spoke that quietly, but Finn didn’t know what to do with it.

“You don’t want the fun side of me. I think you’ve made that clear in the last couple of months.” If Gillian wanted any side of Finn, she had done very little to show it. She squeezed Gillian’s knee, dipping her head to meet her eyes. “Unless you tell me what you want, what this is, I don’t know what to do for the best.”

“I was doing just fine until the end of today’s lecture.”

Ah. That had been Finn’s fault. While she had promised herself to try harder around Gillian, to…not go there again, it seemed she didn’t know how to keep her thoughts and ideas to herself when they were alone. But if this really couldn’t go any further, not even just as fuck buddies, then Finn would do everything she could to make Gillian feel safe in whatever space they shared going forward. She never wanted to make anyone feel uncomfortable, least of all Gillian.

Why? Oh, the why was easy. Finn was wildly attracted to Gillian, and it wasn’t just because of what she could offer in the bedroom. Or the couch. Or the kitchen counter. Finn smirked to herself, trying to keep her head. Gillian may have been sexy as hell, but it was those deep, dark eyes that Finn wanted to gaze into. It was her soft skin that left Finn tingling whenever she had the privilege of touching Gillian. Even a simple handshake had sparks flying, her knees weak, her pulse racing. Gillian Masters was far more than just a great fuck. She had the potential to change Finn’s life. Being in Gillian’s company made Finn feel all kinds of things. But mostly, she felt a strange sense of contentment. Peace. Happiness.

“I’m sorry. That’s on me. It won’t happen again, okay?”

Gillian looked up this time, visibly swallowing. “Only…I want it to happen again. Over and over again. I know the mistake I’m making…but whenever I can have you, I want you, Finn.”

“I don’t know if I’m coming or going with you,” Finn laughed, but it was more of a nervous laughter. “You do realise that, don’t you?”

“I know the feeling.”

Finn decided to be bold. Now was the perfect opportunity to lay their cards on the table. Gillian knew how Finn felt about all of this. If this woman wanted and needed what Finn was offering, she would drop everything to be here. “Gillian, do you want me to be your escape? Forget what we are outside of this apartment and tell me what you want. You know I can be discreet, and you know I’d never do anything to jeopardise your career.”

“Finn...” Gillian inched forward, placing her wine glass down and straddling Finn’s lap. She stroked her fingers up Finn’s throat, their eyes met, and then she leaned down and kissed Finn with a soft yet heated urgency. Finn hadn’t expected this to be where her evening went. She hadn’t imagined Gillian would want her like this again. But those fingers up her throat…the wetness between her legs as Gillian kissed her, it had Finn fired up for anything this woman wanted tonight. As she drew back, her eyes told Finn of the conflicted thoughts running through Gillian’s mind. “This…isn’t right.”

“Fuck what’s right. We need one another.” Finn spoke, her voice hoarse with desire. “You know I’m right.”

“When I’m with you,” Gillian whispered against Finn’s lips, “I forget about the woman who was walked all over. I forget that I put up with so much shit. I forget that I’m not good enough to make someone happy…”

Finn inched back ever so slightly, staring deep into Gillian’s eyes. “Not good enough?”

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