Page 2 of Study You

“You did. But is it likely that you’ll need the same in the future? You mentioned that you had some family things going on, and I’d like to be on the same page should you need an extension again.”

“No. I’ll make sure everything is submitted on time. That was just a hiccup. I’m good.”

“If you’re sure?” Gillian quirked a brow, sending Finn’s pulse racing.

It didn’t really matter what Gillian did or how she presented herself, Finn was familiar with her body now, and that was an image she could never scratch from her mind. The innocent looks didn’t wash with Finn anymore. Instead, the sweet and shy smile only reminded her of the night Gillian dropped to her knees and took Finn’s ‘cock’ into her mouth. Every last action had an opposite…and Finn knew it.

“You know I’ll give you whatever you need, Finn.”

Anything at all? Finn wanted to ask. “Really, I’ll be okay.”

Gillian seemed satisfied by that, even if Finn didn’t know if she was coming or going most days. Life at home had been tough during the holidays.

“Okay. Well, it was good to see you.” Gillian rounded her desk and took a seat. “I’ll see you this afternoon at my lecture?”

“Of course. Yeah.” Finn chewed the corner of her bottom lip, one hand gripping the strap of her satchel where it was slung across her body. “Did you have a nice Christmas?”

“I’ve…had better.” Gillian managed the smallest of smiles. “First one alone in twenty-odd years.” She focused on her computer screen, a sadness in the air around them.

“Onwards and upward now though, right?”

Gillian’s dark eyes lifted, piercing Finn in all ways possible. They held that sadness, uncertainty about the future, but they still made Finn wet in an instant. She guessed some things would never change. “I hope so.”

“I know so. If that cake at your divorce party was anything to go by, your ex-husband was a prick. Surely you’d rather be without that than put up with it for the sake of it.”

“I’ll always choose myself.”

Yeah, don’t I know it, Finn thought. Given the complete lack of communication for the best part of five weeks now, Finn was well aware of the fact that Gillian only chose herself. Because it hadn’t only been the break that had provided that silence. The two weeks prior to uni finishing had been just as lonely.

Gillian got to her feet and approached her briefcase. She took out paperwork and placed it on her desk. “I suppose I should start this year with minimal work. That was all I wanted to see you about. Go and enjoy the rest of your lunch break.”

“R-right. Yeah.” Finn turned towards the door, placing her hand to the back of it. “It was good to see you too, Gillian.”

* * *

God, she looks good.

Gillian watched Finn from across the lecture hall, mindful that other students were present. For twenty-five days, she’d reminisced. About Finn’s eyes. Her smile. Those hands. For twenty-five days, she’d wondered if it was possible to call Finn and have her come over. Christmas night had been particularly difficult. After an entire bottle of wine in the space of an hour, Gillian had been close to calling her student.

She could dress this up however she liked, but she still wanted Finn. It simply wasn’t possible to forget someone like Finn Ashton. As Gillian sat here right now, she knew she didn’t want to forget something that had brought her so much pleasure. Sure, she may want to forget her own past, her miserable life, and enjoy something that didn’t have to mean anything—or so she kept telling herself—but deep down, it simply came back to her desire to be with Finn. It couldn’t mean anything, but that pleasure she’d felt when she was alone with her student, the undeniable urge they’d both had to have one another… It meant far more than Gillian could admit. She would keep her own feelings buried away, she had to, but God, she missed Finn Ashton.

Gillian gripped the arms of her chair, crossing her legs when she caught Finn grinning during a conversation with another student. She did her usual signature hand through the hair, sitting so confidently as always. That desire flared deep within Gillian, but it was quickly followed by jealousy. Jealousy because Finn was giving her attention to another woman. Jealousy because that woman had the pleasure of being up close and personal with Finn. The very same place Gillian wished she could be.

“Okay, everyone. I thought I’d ease you into this semester,” Gillian said as she stood up and moved towards the front of her class. “I’ll be updating the online portal this afternoon. If anyone has any questions, you know where to find me. Or you can drop me an email.”

Everyone started to pack up. Gillian waited for Finn to make eye contact, to grab her crotch the way she used to, but it never came. She was too enthralled by the conversation she was having with Deena, one of Gillian’s mature students. Finn was a mature student too, but Deena was…thirty-seven if Gillian recalled correctly.

She focused on her own belongings, closing down the PowerPoint presentation she’d spent the last week working on. The rest of the day was Gillian’s now, and it was about time she got out of here and took care of things that needed taking care of.

After the last hour watching Finn…Gillian definitely had ‘things’ to take care of.

As the last of her students filed out of the lecture hall, Gillian dropped her head on her shoulders where she was bent forward at her laptop. The Christmas break was supposed to bring her some kind of clarity. It was supposed to rid her of anything she felt for Finn. Fuck, it was supposed to put a stop to all of this.

Yet here she was…craving a release. All because she had laid eyes on Finn again. But it wasn’t only a release she wanted. Just being with Finn was incredibly satisfying. Sex or not.

Oh, you have to stop this. It’s too dangerous!

What Gillian wanted…she couldn’t have. The nights she had lay awake, wishing she was in Finn’s arms. The mornings she sat at home, imagining Finn coming up behind her and wrapping those arms around her waist. The days when those thoughts became so intense that Gillian sat with tears in her eyes. It could never happen, but God, she wished there could have been a different outcome.

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