Page 77 of The Hideout

“Mm. I know how that feels.”

“Then I found out she’d rented a place in my apartment block. Two doors away.”

“If that’s not a sign, I don’t know what is.” Hannah sighed, clearly enjoying where this was going. But Hannah had always told Juliet her time would come. She was certain of it. “Did you date?”

“We…kind of skipped the actual dating stage.” Sitting here now, Juliet was beginning to wish she’d taken Paige on a real date. God, she’d done everything entirely wrong. “But sure, we dated in our own way. We were happy.”

“And now you’re not?” Hannah frowned, holding up a hand. “What could have possibly gone so wrong that it’s all turned to shit?”

“Paige isn’t out. But that wasn’t the issue, not at all. She had a complicated life back in Kent, and I found out she was married.”

Hannah’s eyes widened. “O-oh. Let me guess, she’s gone back to her wife?”

“Husband, and no. Not quite how you’d imagine. She was on the run from him.”

“Ah. I see.” Hannah lowered her eyes, offering the smallest smile. “That has to be tough.”

“It was. Really tough for her. But to cut a long story short, she went back to Kent last Saturday. She wanted to collect the last of her belongings. James has been threatening to come and get her. She was led to believe that he was in Paris…that he wouldn’t be at home—”

“But he was.”

“Y-yes.” Juliet’s voice trembled, her nails digging into her knees. “I think she has broken ribs, but she won’t let me take her to the hospital.”

Juliet heard the light gasp from Hannah, and she felt the uncertainty now hanging over them.

“She won’t go to the police or seek any sort of treatment. Her face… She looks like she’s been mauled by a dog.”

“She may not want to do those things, and that’s entirely her decision, but she has you. And I know you’re going to take care of her and give her anything she needs.”

“She doesn’t want me, Hannah. She comes here to work, sits at that piano, and plays…and I’m just in awe of her. Before all of this happened, I’d do anything for her…and I still would. But she doesn’t want me. She’s leaving.”

“Oh, Juliet. I’m sorry.”

“I-I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m falling apart, and I know that when she leaves, I’m going to lose the best thing to ever happen to me. But I guess I should have known it wouldn’t work out. We’ve only known each other two months, and I know that’s ridiculous of me to even feel something for Paige, but I feel so much for her.”

“It’s not ridiculous. I knew I was in love with Caz the night I met her, Juliet. When we know, we know. But I think that given what she’s been through, it’s going to take time. For her to heal, and for her to realise that she doesn’t need to run away.”

“I wish she’d never told me she loved me.” That was a dreadful thing to say, but Juliet meant it. The pain of losing Paige was going to be bad enough without bringing love into it. “I wish she’d told me she hated me and never wanted to see me again. That I was no good for her. That…this was my fault.”

“Why would this possibly be your fault?” Hannah shifted forward on the couch, dipping her head to meet Juliet’s eyes.

“Because I let her go alone. Because I didn’t protect her. Because I’m incapable of being responsible for anyone but myself.”

“That’s bullshit, Juliet. You can’t be responsible for somebody else’s hands. Or words. Caz still has days when her own past comes back to haunt her, but she knows what she has with me and that I’m always there if or when she needs me. Paige, in time, will know that she has you, too.”

“I’m scared to be alone with her. Since she came back with me yesterday, I’m terrified to be alone with her. Because I want to hold her so much. To promise her that everything will be okay. But she doesn’t want that.”

“Juliet, you’re one of the strongest women I know. You do so much for everyone else, and it’s time you focused on yourself and what you want. If you want Paige, you tell her you want her. You open up and have that conversation with her. You make her understand that while you don’t want to see her leaving, you can give her the space she needs to work through what’s happened. And if that means she decides to stay or comes back in six months’ time, so long as she knows you’ll be there waiting, you really can’t do any more than that. Trust me, I know exactly how you’re feeling.”

“I don’t like feeling this way. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.”

“But feeling this way means you know you have so much to lose. If you didn’t feel so torn up about it, you’d simply let her go and move on with your life. Believe me, I tried not to care when Caz repeatedly pushed me away, but look at us now.”

“What you have can never be matched. I see exactly how Caz looks at you. That woman would lay down her life for you.”

“And you wouldn’t do the same for Paige?”

“Oh, I would. Ten times over.” Juliet swallowed. “I’ve…sent someone to pay her husband a visit.”

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