Page 73 of The Hideout

“Stay here while you recover. And then, even though it hurts me to say this…I’ll help you leave. I’ll help you to get to anywhere in the world you want to be. I’ll make sure you’re safe.”

“Why would you do that for me?”

Juliet closed her eyes, her cheeks damp as she exhaled a calming breath. “Because I love you, and I’d never ask you to stay if you didn’t feel safe with me.”

Paige lowered her eyes, that feeling of being loved bittersweet. It wasn’t that she didn’t feel safe with Juliet, she felt entirely safe in her arms, but it wasn’t the same kind of safety when James was still out there. And it wasn’t about Juliet not being capable. It was down to the fact that Paige couldn’t take another beating. Because if she did…she could guarantee it would be her last.

“I’ve waited all my life for you, Paige. Your personality, that beautiful smile, that infectious laugh. It may be early days, but I know you’re the one I’ve been waiting for. When you float off into your own world behind that piano, I want to run away with you. When you sleep beside me, just hearing your gentle breathing makes me feel safe in not only my own home but my skin. That’s just how you make me feel. Happy. Pure joy. And while I never want to lose that, I want you to do what’s best for you. So, please, stay here, and I promise that when you’ve recovered, I won’t ask you to stay.”

Juliet’s face had devastation written all over it. But Paige understood because she felt that same way.

“I just…” Juliet shook her head, sighing. “Can I kiss you one last time?”

Paige could barely see through her swollen, tear-filled eyes. But she knew she couldn’t leave without kissing Juliet.

“I want so much to kiss you, to hold you, but if you don’t feel comfortable with that, I understand.”

Paige leaned in, mindful of her split lip, and kissed Juliet. It wasn’t the type of kiss she wanted to be sharing with her, but it was all she could manage. Juliet placed the gentlest hand on Paige’s cheek, her body shaking as she sobbed against Paige’s lips.

“I’m sorry it wasn’t a better last kiss, but I’m in pain.”

Juliet somehow managed a smile, but Paige saw right past the mask. “It was a perfect last kiss.” Juliet brushed the back of her hand across Paige’s cheek and stepped back. “I’m sorry. I…shouldn’t have done that.”

“It’s okay. Your hands are nothing like his hands.” It hurt so much to see Juliet like this, almost broken, but Paige knew this was for the best.

“Can I get you some medication?”

“I’m not due any for another hour. I’ve been piggybacking paracetamol and ibuprofen.”

“I think you may need something stronger. I’ll see what we have.” Juliet held up a hand. “Sorry. What I have.”

Paige may be the one choosing to leave, but this wasn’t going to be easy for her either. They may not have spent a lifetime together, but it felt as though they had. This was going to be an adjustment for the time she remained in the country. “Thank you for being there for me.”

“I would have been with you on Saturday if you’d told me where you were staying. You wouldn’t be in this condition if I’d come with you in the first place.” Paige frowned when Juliet clenched her jaw, anger flaring in her eyes. “I should have been there.”

Paige watched as Juliet paced around the room, likely not knowing what to do with herself. “Juliet, I didn’t want to see you while I looked like this.”

Juliet nodded slowly. “It’s just…I feel like you took that chance to be with you out of my hands, and now you’re just going to leave, and that’s the end of us. I’m having a hard time comprehending what I’ve done to deserve that. Just last week, you were planning to find a place here. You wanted to be with me, and now…I’m losing you.”

“You’ve been perfect. Really, you have.” Paige tried to reach out a hand, but Juliet moved further away. “Juliet.”

“I can’t. I’m sorry. Seeing you like this, but not being ‘allowed’ to help you or care for you…it doesn’t feel right. I don’t feel right. This wasn’t how I thought it would go when I got you back.”

Got you back. Oh, Paige’s heart was close to breaking once and for all now.

“If I’d known you were coming, I’d have asked you not to.”

“I know. That’s why I couldn’t tell you I knew where you were. Because I needed to see with my own eyes the condition you were in. I didn’t want to imagine the worst, but I lay in bed for those five nights that you were gone, unable to sleep worrying about you. But now that you’re here, I feel as though I don’t have any right to worry about you.”

“Of course you do.”

“Still, it won’t change anything, will it? I mean, you’re adamant you’re leaving?”

Paige sighed as she lowered herself slowly to the bed. “Y-yes.”

“Then from this moment on, I need to only be a friend to you, Paige. That may sound awful, I feel dreadful for just saying it, but I can’t have you here with me and pray that you’ll see I’m worth it, only for you to leave and I’ll never see you again. I’m not cut out for that. You may think I am, that I’m this stoic ex-lawyer, but I have a heart, too. Unfortunately.”

“I understand.”

---